Support for Parents of Gifted Children, #2 - Page 9 - Mothering Forums
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#241 of 426 Old 10-28-2004, 01:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by TiredX2
When DD was younger, I told DH, "Lots of people think that a baby being able to ask for it means it is time to stop nursing. What would they think of my nursling reading chapter books?" :LOL Perspective
ROFL!!! I got ds to stop night nursing at 3 1/2 by writing him a little book about himself and how he managed to sleep all night without milk. After reading it to himself a few times, he began to get the idea....
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#242 of 426 Old 10-28-2004, 10:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by TiredX2
When DD was younger, I told DH, "Lots of people think that a baby being able to ask for it means it is time to stop nursing. What would they think of my nursling reading chapter books?" :LOL Perspective
yeah, i had heard that too; beanbean asked to nurse at about 7.5 weeks, not with baby sign even but words. i sure as heck wasn't going to punish him for speaking by taking away his most beloved "nurzh" when he asked.

he's nursing right now, in fact. i don't think he;s gonna wean any time soon. :LOL

i'm trying to teach him to suck his thumb. he doesn't like it.

also, even though he's very verbal and bright, i'm having a heck of a time trying to teach him to blow his nose.

BeanBean does very well using the potty when he's with me, Mike, MIL & FIL, but noone else. He just doesn't bother telling them. I have a feeling that he may have told my sister he needed to go potty and she blew him off so he doesn't ask her anymore. When we go to places where he's bound to get distracted (the park, the halloween party last night) I like to put training pants or pull-ups on him, even though we don't usually need them. Last night I had a pull-up on him and he asked to go potty while we were in the car on the way home. We were very close, but he was so disappointed when I told him he had to wait. Poor little man! But there was no place for me to pull over. He's always so bummed when we can't make it in time, he's willing to go in the pull-up but it bothers him, he'd much rather be a big boy and be clean. *sigh*

My younger niece is learning to read; we have no idea where or how, it's just one of those random weird things. She read eight pages of "Where the Wild Things Are" before she lost interest. My sister bought Hooked on Phonics for her and was planning to give it to her for Chanukah, but last night she said "By the time I give it to her, she won't need it!" I told her to give it to her older daughter to help her develop some fluency, and then BeanBean can play with it if he likes. :LOL Anything his cousins are doing is inherently cool to BeanBean. I was thinking about what formal reading instruction I'd like to do with him, and then I realized that he'll probably have learned it by osmosis by the time I"m ready to begin teaching it to him anyway. :LOL He knows all his letter sounds, it's only a matter of time before he begins putting them together instead of just guessing at words.

Oh! Last night, I asked BeanBean, "What is a noun?" Instead of giving me the definition, he said "minivan is a noun. and cat, and sister, mamma, puppy, truck, Toyota..." and went on like that for about a minute and a half. :LOL He's always been that way; my nieces have this toy that asks questions which he would answer at ten months: "Where is the cat?" (pointing to the real cat) "There kitty kitty!" "Can you find the blue shape?" (nodding happily) "Yes!" :LOL That's my boy! My nieces tried to get him to push the buttons for the answers, but he's never seen the point in that; if he can't apply the knowledge to the real world, what use is it? :LOL

My little man will be two very soon, and this year, I am getting my party! Last year his birthday was a real fiasco, but this year I'm not letting it happen again. People will come and they will enjoy it, darnit! :LOL

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#243 of 426 Old 10-28-2004, 11:17 AM
 
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eilonwy~your children are beautiful...just checked out the pics!

Sophia's language is exploding...we are getting short sentences of 2-3 words and new words every day...yesterday was "bucket" as plain as that. and my favourite new word is "word"(wud) She will point to the word in the book and say "wud" or the credits on the tv as they roll up "wud" it's funny.

My older girls keep trying to get her to say things when people come by...she is having none of it. I tell them she is not a circus performer and she doesn't perform on demand.

She stayed with Grandma and Grandpa while I took my 10 year old to her tutoring last night and she was fine. Grandma gave her a bath! She remembered them from the summer plus I was telling her they were coming. Then when they came, was a bit shy at first but gives them each kisses now...they are thrilled!

She has a cold now...slept fitfully all night and now is sound asleep in my bed. I hope it runs it's course because her playgroup is tomorrow. It is so helping her with her shyness and she has a couple new friends she remembers. Pretty much plays alone though.

The biggest challenge for me is figuring out what toys to buy her for christmas...want things she will play with but also challenging but not too challenging...can't go by the age on the toys for her. And I don't want loud obnoxious toys....any suggestions...

Books, puzzles, blocks, doll~any suggestions?
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#244 of 426 Old 10-28-2004, 12:13 PM
 
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Rynna - re: nose blowing. I remember how hard it was for me to learn. (Seriously, I was about 4 years old before I got it.) Here's the trick my mom finally figured out: she told me to pretend I was blowing out my birthday candles, but to keep my mouth closed! Worked like a charm!

Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
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#245 of 426 Old 10-28-2004, 11:26 PM
 
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I only have one child, but am planning more (still no af!) and what I am most concerned about is comparing the two.

For example, I don't want to be saying or even thinking, 'Dylan was crawling, walking, talking, counting, reading, whatever when she was that age," espessially if my other child is genuinely not ready for the activity.

Today Dylan did some things that made me almost shiver. I am a pretty practical atheist who has never beleived in ESP or any other thing like that. First of all, I was expecting my friend Crystal to come over, but she did not know that. I had called Crystal and invited her over when Dylan was outside getting th email with my husband. So, Dyl and I went on a walk and I looked over at my house to make sure Crystal hadn't pulled up yet, as I was thinking about Crystal my daughter said, 'Where's Crystal?' We see Crystal about once every three months, so it is not like she is always coming over and D. expects it. A few seconds later Crystal pulled into the driveway.

Then the three of us went to Kmart for markers and poster board ( Dylan and I made a primate poster later in the evening with pictures of different primates and their pictures). While we were there seh had to go to the bathroom. Here is the post I posted in Toddlers
Quote:
I took her to the store to get some new markers and she had to go potty, so we wnet into the bathroom and when we came out there was a lady going in.

Dylan said, "Hi. I pooped!" to her. I about fell out.

The lady asked her if she was two and Dylan said, "No, silly, I one."

Then she was showed her the markers and told her which colors they all are without any prompting. She won't even do colors with me, so I didn't know that she kenw them so well. It was weird. She never talks to people she doesn't know this in depth, so I am wondering if she just sensed something good in this woman or what.
Then she did something else tonight, I can't beleive it but I forget it! But I remember telling her father that I think she is somewhat psychic.

Then I remembered this thread...

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#246 of 426 Old 10-28-2004, 11:34 PM
 
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Allgirls, JMO I don't see why giftedness would have a substantial impact on toys. Like any child, you would go by how she enjoys playing. If it's a toy that addresses skills, it should be along the lines of what she may be moving into based on what you're seeing her doing now.

My dd just turned two. She loves to pretend with little animal and people. She likes dolls, she likes blocks, books, puzzles, drawing, painting, and even stringing necklaces of pony beads. Playdoh, playing house props, action songs on cd, gentle children's real musical instruments. (Personally, I can live with harmonicas and wood xylophones as long as the bird water whistles stay on a high shelf.) If you have snow where you live, how about a sled? You can get ones that parent or sibs could pull her along in to make outdoor play more inclusive for everyone. A tricycle? A really cool small backpack (stuffed with goodies?)?

Only puzzles and books have developmental significance for a gifted child in that adjustments may be appropriate. But we just got Aleyna a moody bear puzzle and she loves it and even the twins (4.9yo) like it. It's like a paper doll with different pants, shirts, and a set of heads each showing a different mood. And made of wood so it's sturdy. And Aleyna's verbal and cognitive skills are similar enough to your daughter's (and I mean several mos ago).

Most of the toys in discount/dept. stores (at least around here) that are sold are really not appropriate for any kids, anyway, and their uses are narrow. Most of the educational ones suck. Don't buy anything with batteries!

If your dd is very visual and fine-motor I have a link here for a company that sells nice mosaic puzzles/pattern blocks/blocks from HABA. There is an interesting toy I saw there called cathedral blocks, and if you look around the whole site there are lots of other types of building toys. I am planning to buy some of the things in their math section for my kids.

www.constructiontoys.com/store/hab-main.php

It also depends on what your dd doesn't have yet. I think if she doesn't have a nice doll of her own yet, it is really a good choice unless you have reason to think she wouldn't much be interested.

One of the things about giftedness is that I think you shoul be careful of making it a central issue. Most good toys are appropriate for many ages, and it's my guess that if toys are appropriate for children in a range age 2-6 or something your dd will not be too advanced.

Please don't emphasize academics. (not saying that you intend to, but I have seen and received a lot of that in my life) Allow them and honor them, but there are so many other things to learn even for the brightest toddler among us.



Eilonwy,

FWIW I am not talking about labelling. Or just barely. I just expressed my mixed, complex feelings. How do you want the world to address giftedness for your children (not counting school)? What would be just right?

I just don't have much faith in "services." I'm not sure what you mean about "deserving" them, either. It seems that once we get through sorting out all the different special needs that children that we are just going to have to face the fact that all kids need individualized learning of some kind for some reason and that schools just never were set up for anything like that and they aren't patching it up very well. I don't know that my gifted children "deserve" particular attention to their needs any more than all the other children--because all of them do. This is not the same as saying "all kids are gifted" at all. I am sorry about being confrontational, but I am always thinking and always revisiting the choices I make and considering the many perspectives on them. I question myself even as I question you.

I think I'd rather the school offer my dd specialized services in drama and dance, because that is her true gift but the school would primarily see the fact that she can read and comprehend at a high school level and push the academics. Gifted kids in school often seem to need relief more than they need services, at least that is my experience. More room to grow because they are creative and motivated and capable. Escape from being bored... Escape from jumping through hoops... I am trying to imagine what kind of services I might want for my child if she were in school and I really can't picture what they would be. I just want her OUT.

When dd wsa in school, her teacher spent extra time doing advanced reading with her and was truly understanding. The same teacher is now a good friend of ours, and she often speaks of her own struggles to meet the real needs of children. She also strongly encouuraged me to return to homescoholing her. My point was that knowing that the teacher was taking this time made me feel sort of bad because I knew how many other kids her attention was divided among--how many demands were on her (she never said anything about this). I was very uncomfortable with the extra provisions and I was still unhappy with other basic problems of school. The truth is that giftedness is a major factor in my choice to homeschool.



Well, I think I did say some of what I meant to, though not with much grace. I'll just post this anyway and slink away now. There is something bugging me that I can't put my finger on and I hope I haven't been unfair or rude to anyone here. Really. I guess I'm not winning any friends by being giftedness-grouch on a gifted support board, although that isn't really what I meant to be doing. Can I blame it on War and Politics????

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#247 of 426 Old 10-29-2004, 12:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by deeporgarten
Allgirls, JMO I don't see why giftedness would have a substantial impact on toys. Like any child, you would go by how she enjoys playing. If it's a toy that addresses skills, it should be along the lines of what she may be moving into based on what you're seeing her doing now.

Actually it doesn't, it's just that I am not good at deciding what toys to get...my older girls had all the crap...my ex spoiled them with so much junk and wasted sooo much money in really awful toys...the thought makes me cringe...I have literally donated bags and bags of them so I never really bought them anything other than books and videos. He thinks I have completely deprived them because they don't have televisions in their rooms and he wanted to give them one and I said no...then he offered a Playstation 2 and I said not at my house...oh, don't get me started

And with the age difference I really don't remember what was popular. I know they loved the wagon.

It's not about her being gifted really, it's about me doing it my way this time. Now with Sophia my new partner is on the same page as me with regard to toys. It's like starting over...

What does she like now...well she is feeding her doll and putting diapers and wrapping them so I think she likes dolls so that's a good suggestion. She has a lot of puzzles and we have 5 nice wooden ones picked out. Loves picture books that she can point to the objects and name them...she loves blocks. Have a sled.

As for emphasising academics...well that's probably going to be hubby's thing...I love the creativity of children...I was thinking a puppet stand with little hand puppets...hubby could make it and I could get nice puppets. I also have playsilks...she loves those~and I made them for her!

she needs sleep...gotta run...will check out your link tomorrow

Thanks!
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#248 of 426 Old 10-29-2004, 02:06 AM
 
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I'm so glad that you're in such a hopeful situation.

We are always getting rid of toys too, and MIL gets awful things I can't even be around. I was eyeing some puppets, too. My 4yos really like puppets. Our little one we probably will get some new wood blocks since we just have this old odd hodge-podge of different small sets.

Oh, you made playsilks! Did you dye them? I want to do this as a project with my older children, but it's one of those things I don't know if I ever will actually get to. I saw where I could buy slightly larger silk widths-like 48" and thought that my dramatic oldest would be thrilled to use them on her virtually teen-sized self. She still loves pretending and dressup so much.

I built 2 playstands last year and we hang long cloths from the middle of the ceiling over them. I was so awful but I exchanged some of the worst gifts last year for the fabric, as it was something we could live with and use.

We bought a wood bed and highchair last year for dolls, and that's definitely one of those ages 1-8+ sort of toys for us.

I always spend too much money. I am a total sucker for Christmas.

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#249 of 426 Old 10-29-2004, 09:54 AM
 
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nah I didn't dye them...bought already dyed silk from the fabric store...also got sheer fabric like you use for windows and made some peek a boos (her words)...she gets a litte upset when she can't see so the see-through fabric is awesome.

I am a sucker for Christmas too...

My MIL gives us money to buy what she needs...last year I bought a toy box...it was plastic and Barbie...not my first choice but I couldn't find a decent toy box made of wood that wasn't outrageously expensive. I don't want to have to do that this year...I want good quality toys...I am not big on licenced toys..she doesn't watch much TV and even if she did I don't like to buy into the marketing frenzy.

But there's not much around...thankfully my family isn't into buying toys...it's usually clothes and $$$

I am also thinking about a nice wooden table and chairs. We are fixing up a play area for her and I think she'd like that.

I am a total sucker for Christmas and it's hard. We are very blessed and we can afford lots but try to stick to a budget...I never do though...I always go over, somehow feel cheap when you know you can afford something and don't get it.



She only has one battery operated toy...a gift from my best friend. It's Sesame St and you sort shapes into it...when you get the right one it plays music. Well she was terrified of it when she first got it. But luckily you can turn the music off so you just put shapes in...she loves it like that. Only recently we've tried the music again and she is not afraid anymore and dances when she gets the shape in. My thought is a child should be taught to get a sense of accomplishment just for doing things for herself, not be rewarded with bells and whistles.

We have a happy Grandpa at our house...last night Sophia took her book to him and put her head down and her arms up so he would pick her up. Then he read to her. This is HUGE for her. To take the initiative like that. WOW! I nearly cried. Of course her Grandpa is awesome and very sensitive to her. It was so sweet. But it was kind of painful the way she hung her head like he might reject her. I kept thinking...her hearts gonna be so easy to break.

Anyway he read her alphabet book...turns out she recognises almost all the letters now...he was asking and she was showing. I don't spend much time with that unless she asks what a letter is so I didn't know how much she was remembering.

He said "that's smart for 16 months isn't it?" I said "yeah, she's pretty clever"

This visit with the inlaws is going well so far. Hubby gets back today and leaves Sunday to fly to Halifax for 2 nights for orientation for his new job. I guess they will leave while he is gone.

Well better hop...playgroup this morning...

Cheers all
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#250 of 426 Old 11-01-2004, 04:03 PM
 
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Oh my goodness... my eyes are poppin' out a bit here....

I just peeked at this thread out of curiosity (ya know... ha ha, sure my kid is gifted!) & now after looking at that one link that talks about what the kiddos are doing at different levels, I'm thinkin' my DD might be a bit on the "gifted" side - like level 2. She just turned 18 months & we've been signing with her since about 6 months & she knows about 75 signs, she knows the basic colors, can count to 10 by rote & can recognize some of the numbers, knows about 25-30% of the alphabet letters on sight, speaks in 2-3 word sentences, "reads" books on her own (OK, just flips the pages & names her favorite stuff on the pages), seems like she has always understood what we're saying. She loves her baby dolls and wraps each one up in a playsilk for bed each night before she can go to sleep and wakes each one up, unwraps them & gives them a hug and a pat every morning, too, and HAS to get the entire procedure "right" or she's not happy. She's already asking to use the potty & I have a baby bjorn potty seat with her toys-she sits on it & says pee-pee & grabs a playsilk to wipe with. (But I don't think she's developmentally ready-she's still wet most of the time.) But she's not too interested in puzzles, but will do those easy ones, and has done the shape sorter thing since about 12 months & is bored with that already.

What am I gonna do??? Geez... that's not what I was expecting to see... I'm a bit overwhelmed right now... maybe I just shouldn't have looked! I mean, what am I going to do with this anyway? Does it really matter that much at 18 months, I just follow her lead anyway, I certainly haven't pushed any learning on her, I don't want her to feel overly special, YWIM? OK, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself... I guess I'd better read this thread a bit more closely, huh? OK, I'm just rambling now, so I'll shut up.
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#251 of 426 Old 11-01-2004, 07:41 PM
 
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This seems the perfect place for me to garner some help with the latest development. Some may remember, but just in case, my DD is two and a half and speaks very well. She asks some philosophical questions, and I have been doing quite well with them. However, she floored us last night, and I think I messed up and I regret my answer.

She just suddenly asked, "Why do you live?" and I said, "uh, sorry darling, what did you say?' and she said it again, "Why do you live?" and I went, "Oh, umm, well.....we are born, and we try to be as happy as we can until we die." She said, "cool", and went back to her book.

HELP!!! I messed up. She asked me THE question of life, and THAT was my pathetic answer?! AUGH! I have tried to bring it up again, but I am finding it hard cos she has lost the mood, you know? I had all these dreams of giving her this great philosophy about the meaning of life one day, but I was taken so aback, so shocked, that I just said what I said.

I spoke to my mom about it and she said the answer was appropriate for her age, but I don't think so. If you ask a question like that, maybe you deserve an answer that matches it.

So my dilemma is this - we all brace ourselves for such questions to eventuate, right? So, what happens if they ask them at a tender age such as two, how do you approach it? Any experiences to share that I can draw comfort from? Anyone else REALLY messed up with these questions?

Hunger is political.  Wherever there is widespread hunger, it is because people with guns are preventing other people from bringing in food.  
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#252 of 426 Old 11-01-2004, 07:57 PM
 
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Calm, you are beating yourself up over a question that even philosophers can't answer? :LOL Honestly, I think your answer was pretty good and better than what I'd come up with (I'd have said we live to perpetuate the species). Unless you believe in a higher power, I don't think there IS a better answer than that.

Your post reminds me of something Hollis said when he was 5. He was reading one of his astronomy books and all of a sudden burst into tears. When I asked what was wrong he said, "Our place in space is so small compared to the universe that we'll NEVER know everything about it." It's funny now, but at the time he was quite upset.

He also got in a tizzy a year or two ago (after reading A Brief History of Time) over the paradox of an expanding universe. He started talking to one of the dads at Annika's dance class about it and the guy practically fell off his seat. :LOL
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#253 of 426 Old 11-01-2004, 08:59 PM
 
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Hollis has read a Brief History of Time? Whoa! That was one of the toughest books I've read in years! As a side issue, did you hear that Hawking changed his mind and now says that time doesn't bend - something about the main point in that book that he changed his mind about. I got quite confused after that! Or maybe it was that black holes aren't donut shaped. Can you ask Hollis for me? He might know.

Thank you for your post. Maybe it is my buddhism background that makes me feel I let the question down. As you sorta said, a Christian may feel the same if asked about life or G-d. Why do people post "G-d" like that, by the way? (with the hyphen) I do it only because I have seen others do it.

Thinking about it, and what you said, I am a little glad I used the word happiness at least. Just in case I left one of those indelible inprints in her psyche. *worry*

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#254 of 426 Old 11-01-2004, 09:04 PM
 
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I just saw your post, Britishmum. I am glad someone else is struggling too (nice! You know what I mean...) We haven't dealt with death yet, she hasn't asked about it yet. Actually, this last question has armed me, so I guess it is a postitive in that respect. I now know what she is capable of asking, so I won't be as shocked next time. :LOL

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#255 of 426 Old 11-01-2004, 10:24 PM
 
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I had a 3yo who spent months talking about death because our cat died. It was actually an accident but HE caused it and watched her die.

It was really sweet. We talked about it again and again. He would walk around saying "I don't want Pansy to be dead." I am certain he said this exact phrase hundreds of times along with "Pansy will never walk again." He would occasionally talk about the implications of other things that might die. And he would get tears in his eyes a lot. And talk about what a good cat she was. You could see this touching misery in his face. But he would tell me he wasn't sad. Finally I convinced him it was okay to be sad and that he was supposed to be sad. And when he talked about Pansy I would say "Yeah, you're sad because you really loved Pansy..." And he would nod or quietly announce his sadness.

His twin sister asked a lot of questions also about why the cat's muscles wouldn't work any more and about other things dying too...

I found this to be an amazing process with the twins at that point, watching them come to grasps with this. I was very sad too, but also fascinated with witnessing their experience of processing the idea of death.

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#256 of 426 Old 11-01-2004, 10:27 PM
 
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BTW Calm I thought your answer was pretty good and sort of zen.

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#257 of 426 Old 11-01-2004, 10:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Calm
So my dilemma is this - we all brace ourselves for such questions to eventuate, right? So, what happens if they ask them at a tender age such as two, how do you approach it? Any experiences to share that I can draw comfort from? Anyone else REALLY messed up with these questions?
I think your answer was just fine.

As for how I answer these types of questions, I usually try to present various responses people have had and then talk about the one I gravitate toward. But for the Death Questions, I've responded with the understanding that she's asking for a sense of safety. We dealt a little bit with death when she was 2, with plants, flowers, and bugs. She fell apart a few times when her friends would stomp on bugs or squish them with delight. Sometimes she imitated, and sometimes she would just fall apart and bawl. We tried to roll with the punches and not make too big a deal. We made it a rule to ask for the plant's permission before we picked it. And we made it a point to talk to bugs, sometimes apologizing to them as we (always I) smooshed it.

When the questions about people dying came up, I handled it by telling her what I really thought. That I'm her Mommy and that means that I'm with her forever. That she's always my baby, even after I die, even after she dies. That we'll always have a special relationship. That I will always be around her when she wants me and needs me, whether I'm alive or dead, whether she's young or grown. And that she can let me know if she can handle things herself, 'cause sometimes she won't need me and sometimes she might like to figure things out for herself. For many months, she consented to cooperate only if we promised not to die, and when we wouldn't she would negotiate it down to dying when we were 100, or whatever. I just made a big dramatic gesture of " what?!? of course I wouldn't die when I'm young? That makes no sense. People die when they're old and they've learned what they came here to learn and they're ready to die and to go on to the next thing. Why would I die before I'm old and ready?!? Silly child!" Now her questions have transformed into more requests for reassurance. And she knows all about how after people die, they still love us and sometimes they come and visit with us, even if we don't see them and can't touch them.

One cool thing she started talking about when she was 2 is what she calls "floating days." This is after we started talking about what is before birth and before conception. #1 calls it "floating days." She talked about things she said and experiences she had while in her floating days. Like getting to know her unborn siblings, etc. I didn't interfere with this image so much, since she came up with it herself, and it's as true as anything I've heard of. Who knows.... maybe it is the truth!
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#258 of 426 Old 11-01-2004, 11:13 PM
 
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Thinking about it, and what you said, I am a little glad I used the word happiness at least. Just in case I left one of those indelible inprints in her psyche. *worry*
You probably did leave a permanent memory, and you should be proud that you left such a profound and simple explanation. I remember asking my Dad about energy. I don't know how old I was... 3 or 4? My brother was studying energy in school, and I was really curious about it. I wanted to understand what it WAS exactly, you know? It's not an object, but it can be sensed and it can be measured and utilized. It was just so mind-boggling to me. And I asked my Dad about it, since he had a Ph.D. in science. He thought I was the cutest little girl for saying words like electricity and energy. He kept explaining over and over how energy is electricity and light. And, LOOK! The light is on, and it's bright. It's energy. Look! Wires, that's electricity. I tried in vain to get my Dad to take me seriously, so I quit. And I played dumb: "Wow.... you mean THAT all that bright shiny THAT is ENERGY!?!? What did you call it? Can you help dumb little me to pronounce it?" I had a few conversations like that with my Dad in those formative years before I gave up conversing with him for a lifetime. I didn't bother with my Mom, she would just ask me what was wrong with me, am I so dumb I can't figure it out, or she would get mad at me for not learning things like that at school. Um.... PRESCHOOL??? Where we sat and rubbed flowers on our knees all day and pretended to cook with grass and weeds? No. No metaphysical or physical discussions there.

I don't think it's so important what answer we give our kids. I think it's more important that we validate the curiosity in them that's developing. Let me quote my new guru, Mr. Rogers: "We can't always know what's behind a child's question. But if we let a child know we respect the question, we're letting that child know we respect him or her. . . . *Wanting* to know about something is the first step of wanting to give the energy to learning more about it. When we caringly respond to children's questions, we're encouraging curiosity . . . ." (*Dear Mr. Rogers*, Fred Rogers, p. 68).
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#259 of 426 Old 11-01-2004, 11:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When ChibiChibi was 4 years old, my mother had open heart surgery. This was horrifyingly traumatic all by itself; my mother has always been Chibi's primary caretaker (the child support checks pulled from her father's paychecks actually go to my mother). She was very upset because mom was in the hospital at all; just a year and a half earlier, my grandmother had gone to the hospital and passed away.

While my mother was in surgery, I asked to speak to the chaplain, because I wanted some idea of what I could say to Chibi if my mother did not come home from the hospital (a distinct possibility). I told him about my grandmother and the effect that her death had on Chibi, and about her father's cousin who had been murdered, and her reactions to death. She had a goldfish which died, but whenever someone mentioned cleaning out the fish tank she'd scream at the top of her lungs "HE'S NOT DEAD, HE'S SLEEPING!!!!!" and then throw a crying fit. She had learned that death means that someone you care about is never coming home again.

The chaplain said that when he explains death to children, he uses a very simplistic, natural approach-- he talks about how the leaves fall from the tress, and they make room for new leaves to grow; if the leaves never came off, the new leaves would never come. If snow never falls, the new flowers can't bloom in the spring. It was really nice, and I found it very helpful. I thought that it was something I could explain to my niece if it was necessary (luckily it wasn't).

My own feelings on life and death make it easier to deal with, but I suppose that there is something of a religious element to it so I won't go into it here. Death is a difficult aspect of life for anyone to come to terms with, and gifted children have to deal with it sooner than most. Often, they are exposed to ideas long before they are emontionally mature enough simply because they are intellectually able to understand them. It's not fair, but it's the way life is.

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Originally Posted by lckrause
He also got in a tizzy a year or two ago (after reading A Brief History of Time) over the paradox of an expanding universe. He started talking to one of the dads at Annika's dance class about it and the guy practically fell off his seat.
I read that book-- a few months before your son was born. :LOL Wow, I'm totally old! :LOL I really liked it, though. Fun stuff! Yay physics!

Has Hollis ever read "Einstein's Dreams" by Alan Lightman? It's a really fun book, I bet he'd love it.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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I read that book-- a few months before your son was born. :LOL Wow, I'm totally old! :LOL I really liked it, though. Fun stuff! Yay physics!
Ha! Well, you've done better than me, since I haven't read it at all. I couldn't even get past the first twenty pages without zoning. But Hollis said it was "very interesting," although personally I think lots of it must have gone over his head. I bet if he read it now that he's a couple years older he'd get a lot more out of it (the trauma of the expanding universe aside).

Quote:
Has Hollis ever read "Einstein's Dreams" by Alan Lightman? It's a really fun book, I bet he'd love it.
No, but thanks for the suggestion! We'll look at our crappy library and if they don't have it there I'll look on Amazon. Is it about Einstein or is his name just in the title? Hollis likes Einstein, but his favorite scientist is Galileo.

Calm, I showed Hollis an article on Yahoo Science about that Hawking thing. He actually has his own theories about "the time-space continuum and the Einstein-Rosenberg bridge"... whatever that means. Basically he says that once something happens, those points in time, space, and whatever else (there's a third thing but I can't remember it) are scattered they can never meet up again since everything is always moving all around, and so time travel is not possible. I'm sure this isn't a new theory, but it's kind of cool he thought of it himself.
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#261 of 426 Old 11-02-2004, 04:18 AM
 
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Man, your kid is switched on.

Hunger is political.  Wherever there is widespread hunger, it is because people with guns are preventing other people from bringing in food.  
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#262 of 426 Old 11-02-2004, 04:21 AM
 
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Pei, I like what Rogers said. At least I did that, so thank you (again :LOL).

Hunger is political.  Wherever there is widespread hunger, it is because people with guns are preventing other people from bringing in food.  
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#263 of 426 Old 11-02-2004, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lckrause
Is it about Einstein or is his name just in the title? Hollis likes Einstein, but his favorite scientist is Galileo.
It is a fictional exploration of some really fun theories about time. I like the "reverse entropy" universe, the one where you throw stuff in your bag and it just gets more and more organized as the day progresses. :LOL My apartment would be spotless! :LOL : Hollis will probably get a real kick out of it, like I said it's a fun book. You might even like it.

Quote:
Basically he says that once something happens, those points in time, space, and whatever else (there's a third thing but I can't remember it) are scattered they can never meet up again since everything is always moving all around, and so time travel is not possible. I'm sure this isn't a new theory, but it's kind of cool he thought of it himself.
I have heard that theory before, but it is stioll incredibly cool that he has come to it for himself. personally, i fall into the "everything that can happen does happen" camp (multiple universes constantly being spawned). i also believe that if we are capable of holding an idea in our heads, then it is possible to accomplish said idea; thus, since we can think about time travel, it must be possible. i think it would be nearly impossible to stay on your own timeline, though, because of the multiple universes.

wow, it's been a long time since i've thought about this stuff! :LOl

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#264 of 426 Old 11-05-2004, 03:50 PM
 
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Hi everyone!
I'm new to the board and I am having some trouble navigating, but I think this is where I want to be. I posted yesterday under "Special Needs Children", but I'm going to repost here. Anyway, I'm mom to a 2 1/2 year old son who is possibly gifted, only time will tell, but definitely advanced. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone and having a place to come to for sharing ideas, concerns and getting advice. I'm particularly interested in the parents here who have decided to homeschool. I've been doing a litte research lately and have read a book called "The Well Trained Mind" which I really enjoyed and I also really liked the curriculum it layed out. Has anyone else followed the curriculum in the book and what have you thought? I also like Charlotte Mason's approach and would like to incorporate some of her philosophies as well. I know it's early to start thinking about it, but preschool is just around the corner and all my mom friends are actively researching and discussing the different programs in the area. It seems to be the hip thing to enroll the kids at 3 around here. I have always had homeschooling in the back of my mind since my son has always been "ahead of the game". But I also figured every first time mom thinks their child is a genius and I'd wait it out. However, when he recently started sounding out words, I started to consider homeschooling a bit more seriously. My main conceren is that he'll feel left out. He has a lot of children his age that he socializes with and I worry he'll wonder why they are going off to school, and he's not. Well, that's all, I look forward to your responses!
J
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#265 of 426 Old 11-05-2004, 05:31 PM
 
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Hi J! Welcome to Gifted and also MDC!

I have another homeschooling concern, and I don't want to go the forum because of the nature of my child etc (you know what I mean). Homeschooling creates children that are very advanced, so what if you want to eventually place them into school? I was put in grades above my age and it failed so abysmally as the kids didn't accept me for my younger age. I was put back into my age group. I fear acceleration in school for my child, no doubt because of my own experience of it. I want to homeschool my DD, but not for the entire schooling years, and I haven't decided until when.

Anyone else only half homeschooling? And how will you deal with how advanced they will be compared to their peers?
Thanks.

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#266 of 426 Old 11-05-2004, 08:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calm
Homeschooling creates children that are very advanced, so what if you want to eventually place them into school?
I see what you're saying here, but I don't think homeschooling "creates" children that are advanced, especially very advanced. I think children are advanced or they're not. Sending your kid to school and not allowing them (!) to learn anything at home in an attempt to "slow" them to the pace of their age peers will in the best case not work (your kid will just go on learning whether you want them to or not) and in the worst case cause them great frustration and angst. Somewhere in the middle are the kids who learn to dumb themselves down to be accepted... do you really want your kid to do that?

If you have a highly gifted child and you want to place them in the public school system, you will have problems. Probably big problems, hopefully minor ones, but undoubtedly there will be some. However, I don't think homeschooling and letting your child learn at his own pace will have a lot to do with whether he has problems or not. In fact, I think it's the only healthy and responsible thing to do.

Just like most gifted kids don't wait until grammar school age to read or do math, they won't wait until they're in high school to do high school subjects. Why hold them back if they want to learn?
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#267 of 426 Old 11-05-2004, 09:57 PM
 
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Hi Lisa,
I think I remember you from a board I posted on for a short period of time. You're children have very distinct names and I seem to remember something about a "Hollis and Annika butt dance". If it is you, I remember reading a chart and thinking that your son and mine are almost on a identical timeline regarding their development. I only posted on the board I mentioned for a short period of time because things got way off track very often and the discussions got, umm, how shall I put this "heated" very easily. There also seemed t be a lot of issues between posters that were in exsistence long before I arrived. Needless to say, it's nice to see you here.
J
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#268 of 426 Old 11-05-2004, 10:03 PM
 
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Good point about holding them back, yes, I certainly want to avoid that. What I mean is that children who are homeschooled, well, the ones I know, are well ahead of the curriculum of schools - advanced. Whether they are gifted or not. Giftedness is an extra challenge, for sure, but I have seen they are uniformly advanced (academically, not mentally) compared to the kids who have the pace of schools. No doubt due to the one on one attention. My concern is that once I start to homeschool, I have to stay the course, and I definitely want to homeschool - so eventually going back to work for me might be out of the question. I guess that was my concern, if homeschooling is something you either do or don't do, but not for some years and then stop. KWIM?

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#269 of 426 Old 11-05-2004, 10:31 PM
 
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Just one more quick question. By the time my son Sam turned 2, he was starting to write some letters. I encouraged this and continued to guide him when he wanted to learn how to write a new letter. We had a couple of "games", writing shopping lists, notes ect.. to practice this skill. Then I read in "The Well Trained Mind" that when teaching how to write letters you need to be sure that you teach the child to make letters like a, b,d, p ect... in one fluid motion right from the start because it makes for faster writing and a easier transition into cursive. Sam had been making these letters however by making a line and then putting a circle in the appropriate place for the particular letter. Since I read this I've stopped the games we played for writing letters (except his name, I still have him put his name on artwork ). I guess I'd like to know if any other children learned to write some letters by putting circles and lines together, or did they start right away with one fluid motion and if they made letters the way Sam does, did it hinder them when they were ready to use one fluid motion? Does that make sense?
Thanks again!
J
By the way, here's some pics of my little guy and some of his earlier "artwork", he's been on a drawing hiatus lately so I haven't updated it.
http://homepage.mac.com/joeysantora/PhotoAlbum7.html
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#270 of 426 Old 11-05-2004, 10:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've always intended to allow my children to go to high school if they want to, provided they're already finished with my high school. If they get to a point where they've finished all the work I want to do with them and they want to go to public school, I'm all in favor of it; they can take AP courses and get college credit, learn how schools work, and have a prom and all that stuff. If they don't want to go, I certainly won't make them. The fact is, the overwhelming majority of 18 year olds I've met, in high school or college, didn't want to be in school. For some people it hit earlier, for some later, but there was a time when they just had no interest in education. I want my kids to have an option when that time comes: if they're finished with homeschooling, and they don't want to go to college or to public school, they can take a year or two off and bum around doing whatever they like. If they want to go to high school and goof off with kids their own age, fine! The idea is to get them so far ahead that it won't matter if they don't put in a lick of effort for a while, they can totally coast if that's what they want to do. I know I could have used a year off!

I plan to homeschool my kids until (at the very least) they've finished the basic high school requirements. If they want to stay home and learn more, that's fine. If they want to stay home and be zombies for a while, that's fine too. It's all about options for me.

luvmypoonchkie, Hi! I'm doing TWTM with my niece, and I'll do it with my two year old son later. He's picking up all sorts of fun things, but I'm not doing anything formal with him. I try to remember to do the activities in "Slow and Steady Get Me Ready" with him every week, but between my niece and my daughter and my son I rarely have time. I'm not terribly worried about it, but sometimes I wish I had more time and energy to dedicate to him. I do what I can.

I love TWTM, but I am anal retentive and I love lists, details, and organization. :LOL I think you have to be somewhat tense to even be interested, and I totally understand why many people read that book and balk at the idea. If you like it, I say go for it! It may even make things easier for you: in my state, you have to jump through rings of fire to homeschool, and TWTM pretty much sets up the rings and lights them for you. :LOL I'm told that lots of people do a more relaxed version of it, and there are people who only use it for history or English or literature and that's fine too.

The biggest problem I have with it is that the history course, while extensive, is extremely Eurocentric. Since we're not white or Christian, that's a bit of an issue so I've modified it somewhat, changed the lists great men and women to reflect a more balanced, truly global history. The science is a bit weak, but science is my strongest subject so that's not an issue for me. We're doing things on a modified schedule with ChibiChibi because she was pulled out of public school. We're just about finished with her first grade work (after two years in public school, even though she went in eight months ahead, she came out fully a year behind. Big shocker. ) in language, except for First Language Lessons. She'll start second grade work after Thanksgiving. She's already doing second grade math, and I'm confident that she'll finish the course with flying colors by Pesach; at that point, she's likely to begin third grade work in everything else, too (except for history and science, which I am not teaching in a grade-specific manner but year by year).

Homeschooling is fabulous, because you can tailor everything to meet the needs of the student. Even a program like TWTM; it's comprehensive, but still very flexible. You can do "first grade" reading, "primer" music, "second grade" math and "third grade" science all in one year, at the same time, and it's no big deal. Lovely!

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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