Support for Parents of Gifted Children, #3 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 366 Old 01-25-2005, 02:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I hope this is ok to ask here, but I just saw this thread and have been wanting information I can't seem to find. How do you know your child is "gifted"?
In my son's case, he was writing letters before 18 months and reading at age two, and in my daughter's case she was drawing recognizable pictures by 18 months (although academically she seems more mildly gifted). I'd trust your instinct. If your son seems gifted, he probably is! Welcome to the thread.
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#62 of 366 Old 01-25-2005, 02:58 PM
 
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How do you know your child is "gifted"? Were they tested and if so how and where do you go for something like this?
Depending on how old your son is, there are some sites around with "markers," things to look for which may indicate giftedness.

In our own case: I was a profoundly gifted child, my husband is slightly/moderately gifted. I have two profoundly gifted siblings and two highly gifted siblings; my mother also falls into the profoundly gifted category. In other words, thanks to my family history I had my eyes open to the possibility.

My son said his name at his 4 week WBC; I thought I was nuts until I took him home and he did it again, for my mom, my sister, my best friend, and my husband. He also said "nurzh" (what "nurse" sounds like without any teeth) the following week, and started collecting words at a ridiculous rate after that. He said "Eli nurzh!" at 7.5 weeks, and if you don't think he knew what he was talking about, think again. :LOL So he was exceptionally precocious verbally.

He started crawling at 6 months, which I thought was average until just a few weeks ago (more on that later) but it's apparently on the early side. He cruised at 8 months, stood at 10 and started walking well and comfortably around 11. All of his physical milestones were at the high end of normal.

I think what really threw me for a loop was a) his attention span, and b) his communication skills. Even before he spoke like a person, he could get anyone to understand him. He'd also sit for hours looking at books, or his beloved maps. (He said "National Geographic" at 14 months or so! :LOL) He remembers everything. Over the weekend, we were at the IL's. MIL took a box of tea out of the cupboard, and my son said "That was at Aunt M's house!" We had gone to Aunt M's for Christmas Tea on the 27th of december, and she did indeed have that particular variety of tea on her table. He hasn't been there or seen her since. He does stuff like that all the time; he remembered his cousin, whom he hadn't seen in nearly a year. He remembers which buttons to push on the dvd player and remote to watch Sailor Moon. He knows all his shapes and colors, loads of animal sounds, and every day he manages to surprise me with something else he's picked up.

At 27 months, BeanBean knows his phone number, the city we live in, where his grandparents and my mom live, and the name of his doctor. He can tell you where his father works and what he does, and what you're likely to see if you visit him there. He recognizes his letters, but I don't think he knows the sounds that all of them make-- I could be wrong, though, he's quick. :LOL In combination, along with my family history, I think it's fairly safe to assume that he's gifted. My guess is that he's highly gifted, but as he gets older that may change.

My daughter is seven months old; she has many words, including her brother's name, "nurzh," i love you, and "clean pantzh." She sings along with her father and I and appears to have rhythym, which would make her the first member of Mike's family *ever* to have rhythym. :LOL She cruises with one hand, has been crawling for nearly three months, and can stand independantly. (I have pictures of her cruising in my sig. ) She's taken one step a few times, but she always falls back down on her bum. Yesterday, she stepped on to my pillow so that she could pull up and look out the window. She can soothe herself very effectively; when she starts to get upset while she's working on something, she stops and sucks her thumb for a while to calm down and then she starts again. It's amazing to watch!

I could go on and on about my kids; I'm totally impressed by them!

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#63 of 366 Old 01-25-2005, 05:48 PM
 
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Depending on how old your son is, there are some sites around with "markers," things to look for which may indicate giftedness.
Anyone have any bookmarked?

People have been commenting a lot on our daughter's verbal skills lately. She has not really been anything much above average on physical milestones, but at 12 months she speaks more than 20 words (she began talking at 8 months), uses more than 10 signs, occasionally uses two-word sentences, answers questions/follows requests correctly ("What does the cow say?" "Where is the frog?" "Go get the ball and bring it to mama") and can fill in words and signs in the correct place from books she knows, even in the absence of the book (e.g., if I recite the book to her in the tub). She has a very long attention span for her age, and will sit in rapt attention and read books with me for half an hour or more.

Her dad and I are smart people, and I did teach myself to read at 5, but neither of us was like this in toddlerhood, at least according to our parents.

I feel like we have been handed a responsibility, and am not quite sure what to think. It's early yet, of course. Should I start working on letters and numbers soon? Do I let her go at her own pace, or encourage her to go beyond her "age level" more than I would with another child? Shall I just relax and forget about it till she is a bit older, figuring I am doing a generally good job?

OTOH, maybe I am overreacting and being a typical over-proud parent. It's hard to know.

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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#64 of 366 Old 01-25-2005, 05:54 PM
 
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Can I pop in here? I've been lurking for the past few weeks, mainly because I feel ds (almost 5) shows traits of giftedness. It has been great reading about everyone's experiences, children and personal decisions they've made to make life better for their child. Thank you for that.

My reason for joining in is that I wanted to respond to LeftField's post regarding "The Highly Sensitive Child". I got this book a few years ago, in a moment of desperation when I finally acknowledged ds was not like many of his happy, easy-going playmates. This was before I knew of SID. If I can remember correctly, I checked all the qualities of 'Is your child a HSC?' except for maybe two or three!! This book really helped me appreciate even more the uniqueness of ds and his world. One of the main things that brought me peace was the author stating that simply because my child isn't continuously smiling doesn't mean he isn't experiencing joy. He's just experiencing it in his own, very personal way. (I'm trying to paraphrase). His seriousness always concerned me that he wasn't having fun. Years later, I still have this book on my nightstand!!

Now, I'll go back to reading all your interesting posts!

Thanks!
Mary-Jo
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#65 of 366 Old 01-25-2005, 06:14 PM
 
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Just wanted to ask everyone on this thread to please answer my poll question out in the mail "Special Needs Parenting" forum about education and your gifted child.

TIA,
Kay

 

 

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#66 of 366 Old 01-25-2005, 08:29 PM
 
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Wow! Ok...some of the things your children are doing or have done, my DS # 1 has done. Maybe I'm not out there for thinking he is gifted. Ok..some examples...it started at about 22 months. He would comment on all the cars around us when we would go out. He knew every make and model of every car within about two months. We would be in a parking garage and he would take one look at a car and tell me what it is. My sisters would all "test" him and he'd "pass" every time. I kind of chalked it up to he's a boy and loves cars...ok. So then out of the blue he walks over to me (at 2 years old) and hands me a "love letter". I open the sucker and he has written his name pretty legibly and written down every auto maker out there and spelled them all right. He rated them too. I asked him what the numbers were next to each name and he says the ones I like better have the lower numbers. He has an incredible memory. He will remember specific people, what they were wearing and what was said years later. He sat for about 3 days off and on playing with our satellite dish and the channels. He has memorized every single channel, their call letters, and if there is a west coast number and an east coast number, he'll tell you that they are actually the same station but have different call letters. There are hundreds of TV stations...I am amazed. Once again out of the blue I will test him...What is WFAA? And without missing a beat he'll say channel 8. And then he'll say and it is also channel 8121. And the other way...what is channel 189 and he'll say oh mama..that's the Discovery channel. Blows my mind. We discovered by accident that he could read anything we put in front of him and was very capable of using phonics skills to sound it out and get the correct pronounciation at 3 years of age. I feel so stupid...the whole time I am reading to him, he was probably reading it himself. I just never noticed. So in retrospect I am wondering if he has been able to read before 3 years old. My gut says he musthave been able to because I don't think he'd be reading my DH's computer books at 4 1/2 yrs of age right now.
Anyhow this is some of it...so much more. I've got to go make dinner. If anyone has bookmarked testing sites and could post them, I would appreciate it.
Thanks all.
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#67 of 366 Old 01-26-2005, 12:25 AM
 
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Originally Posted by dallaschildren
Anyhow this is some of it...so much more. I've got to go make dinner. If anyone has bookmarked testing sites and could post them, I would appreciate it.
Thanks all.
Based on what you say, I would have to agree that your ds is most likely gifted. My dd demonstrates an incredible memory, as well. She tells me some of her memories from when she was about 13-14 mos old. Scary. lol She also taught herself to read at about 3 yrs old. I somehow figured it was normal, as everyone in my family read at a young age, too.

Anyway, I have scads of pages bookmarked, but two of the best sites are:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/
--Information for both MG and HG

http://www.ditd.org/public/index.aspx?mid=206&tp=1
--I love this site! If you look at nothing else here, go to their "Articles" page. An online library of indexed articles on all kinds of topics relating to giftedness, parenting, education, etc.

I hope this helps, and welcome to the tribe.
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#68 of 366 Old 01-28-2005, 01:46 PM
 
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HI all,

I've been too busy with life to post much lately.

Goo's been great. She knows what major city we live near and she has the most amazing imagination! I love it! She can't read all of the letters yet, but I'm in no rush. She does sit down with books and "reads" from her memory. She can actually do a whole book from memory...scary. She turned 2.5 last weekend..

Moo is great! She is trying to say "dada" but it comes out "blah blah". She makes razzes when I blah back at her.

I just love watching them explore. Goo did an experiment with her fork at the dinner table the other night. She was hitting her knife and fork together and it rang like a bell. We asked her "was it the fork or the knife that made that sound?" She decided to hit her spoon with the knife. She then tried the fork and the spoon. She discovered it was her fork that was ringing. Kinda neat to help her learn!
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#69 of 366 Old 01-28-2005, 02:24 PM
 
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Foobar-- Moo and BooBah share a birthday.

I went to the book discussion group for parents of gifted children last night. I'm having fun there, but I think I'm doing more teaching than learning. My kids are not in school (and never will be) so we don't have any of the school issues. None of the other parents were gifted children themselves, so they're all very interested to hear my perspective on the situation. They're fascinated to hear the kid's point of view, and I find it interesting to see it all from a parent's perspective. Many of them are confused by the mixed messages society sends about gifted kids, and they're afraid to encourage thier children at all or give them challenges because they don't want to be seen as pushy, but then they want their kids to live up to their potential... it's very confusing! I'm enjoying it, though. I feel like I'm being sociable and a real grownup! :LOL

BeanBean: "May I have some graham crackers?"

Me: "I don't think we have any graham crackers."

BeanBean: "They're in the kitchen."

Me: "Oh."

BeanBean (coming back from the kitchen with crackers in his hand): "May I have some peanut butter on my graham crackers?"

Me: "I think we're out of peanut butter, too."

BeanBean: "It's in the pantry."

Me: "Oh."

BeanBean (while I'm spreading peanut butter on his graham crackers): "Mamma, did you log on?"

:LOL He's just being such a doll this morning. :LOL And how does he know what food is in the house when I haven't got a clue? He must have checked out the pantry this morning (Mike went shopping last night without us). :LOL

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#70 of 366 Old 01-28-2005, 05:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by eilonwy
Foobar-- Moo and BooBah share a birthday.
That's great! I am sure yours was much more relaxed than our hospital rush during a Red Sox game...

I hope I have this right, did you do a Brit for her? We had one for Moo at our house...


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And how does he know what food is in the house when I haven't got a clue? He must have checked out the pantry this morning (Mike went shopping last night without us). :LOL
Goo is the same way! She can tell me where what food is where in the house...UGH...

My parents said the same thing about me. When I was a kid, they told me that if I said there was a pink elephant on the lawn, grab your camera because I was right!
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#71 of 366 Old 01-28-2005, 05:44 PM
 
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That's great! I am sure yours was much more relaxed than our hospital rush during a Red Sox game...

I hope I have this right, did you do a Brit for her? We had one for Moo at our house...
I doubt it-- emergency c-section with my husband an hour and a half away at work.

We didn't have brit bat for her because even though I consider myself Reform at the moment, I was raised Orthodox and that just doesn't happen. My brother went to shul on Shabbos and formally "named" her.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#72 of 366 Old 01-28-2005, 05:56 PM
 
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Ok- Yes, that is worse than Moo's birth!

Ah, yes, I forget that only Reform does the Brits for girls. I am so glad I did it.
Goo is SO into Shabbot! She loves the candles and she can say the prayer for the candles! Surprised us one night in November by saying "Baruch atah...." and she got the WHOLE thing down with only one mistake!
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#73 of 366 Old 01-28-2005, 11:06 PM
 
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Ok- Yes, that is worse than Moo's birth!

say the prayer for the candles! Surprised us one night in November by saying "Baruch atah...." and she got the WHOLE thing down with only one mistake!
That brought back a funny memory! When ds was almost 3 and we were celebrating dh's birthday one Thursday night, I lit the candles on the cake and ds came out with the whole candle blessing, which surprised me as it did you. So the next night I lit candles for Shabbat, I looked at Ben, he opened his mouth...and he sang Happy Birthday to You.

Thanks for the reminder - that gave me a chuckle!
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#74 of 366 Old 01-29-2005, 03:26 AM
 
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That brought back a funny memory! When ds was almost 3 and we were celebrating dh's birthday one Thursday night, I lit the candles on the cake and ds came out with the whole candle blessing, which surprised me as it did you. So the next night I lit candles for Shabbat, I looked at Ben, he opened his mouth...and he sang Happy Birthday to You.
:LOL Sadly, my son doesn't know the candle bracha. In fact, he doesn't know any brachas. : We don't have any candlesticks, to say nothing of a place to put them that I could trust. *sigh* Miserable miseries.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#75 of 366 Old 01-29-2005, 11:57 PM
 
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Based on what you say, I would have to agree that your ds is most likely gifted. My dd demonstrates an incredible memory, as well. She tells me some of her memories from when she was about 13-14 mos old. Scary. lol She also taught herself to read at about 3 yrs old. I somehow figured it was normal, as everyone in my family read at a young age, too.

Anyway, I have scads of pages bookmarked, but two of the best sites are:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/
--Information for both MG and HG

http://www.ditd.org/public/index.aspx?mid=206&tp=1
--I love this site! If you look at nothing else here, go to their "Articles" page. An online library of indexed articles on all kinds of topics relating to giftedness, parenting, education, etc.

I hope this helps, and welcome to the tribe.
Thank you for the links and the welcome. I am now in over my head trying to find a school in our area that has a gifted or AP program. I was considering homeschooling, but I believe in my gut at this time, that DS # 1 needs to strengthen his socialization skills. All he wants to do is play with and hang around adults. We do not have many homeschooling groups near us that I want to be a part of for various reasons that would allay my socialization fear.
Is an academically gifted mind hereditary? I noticed some of you as adults were gifted or your SO was gifted....the good Lord knows I can debate with the best of them, write a term paper in record time, and know my American History and then some, but I am FAR from gifted. As for DH...he never studied and got straight A's however was never tested or said to be gifted. So where in the heck did our little guy get his brains? Does it skip generations? Also, sorry if this sounds dumb but I have to ask...can a child start out gifted and then turn "normal" (sorry for that word but I don't know how else to say it but YKWIM)?

I have googled my booty off and found some good links. There's about 15 of them so I will be reading for awhile. I noticed some of the links have the same "chart" listed....the signs to look for that may determine whether your child is "bright" or "gifted" and DS # 1 is about 9 out of 10 on the gifted side.
Also we had parent/teacher conference Friday PM. I came out and asked his teacher point blank if she considered him smart or gifted and she said without hesitation in her opinion that we have a gifted child. She also specifically said he has a "photographic" memory. Can anyone tell me what this entails (besides the obvious of coarse)?
Thanks all.
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#76 of 366 Old 01-30-2005, 03:30 PM
 
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Thank you for the links and the welcome. I am now in over my head trying to find a school in our area that has a gifted or AP program. I was considering homeschooling, but I believe in my gut at this time, that DS # 1 needs to strengthen his socialization skills. All he wants to do is play with and hang around adults. We do not have many homeschooling groups near us that I want to be a part of for various reasons that would allay my socialization fear.
In my personal opinion, sending him to school is unlikely to strengthen his socialization skills. I always joke that if my mother had waited until I was emotionally and socially ready for Kindergarten, I'd have started school at 19; the fact is, I think that going to school really slowed down my social development and caused me to focus on my own little world and become, if it was possible, less "sociable" than I was before.

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Is an academically gifted mind hereditary? I noticed some of you as adults were gifted or your SO was gifted....the good Lord knows I can debate with the best of them, write a term paper in record time, and know my American History and then some, but I am FAR from gifted. As for DH...he never studied and got straight A's however was never tested or said to be gifted. So where in the heck did our little guy get his brains?
I've been seriously wondering about this a lot lately. My understanding was that studies with adopted children and twins have shown that a child's IQ will most closely correlate with that of their biological parents (most of the time-- there are always exceptions). The thing is, I've been going to a book discussion group for parents of gifted children, and none of them were gifted children themselves. The genetic and environmental factors of intelligence are (as far as I know) still being debated. My guess would be that it's about 70/30 in favor of genetics, but...

You don't have to be tested to be gifted.

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Also, sorry if this sounds dumb but I have to ask...can a child start out gifted and then turn "normal" (sorry for that word but I don't know how else to say it but YKWIM)?
The only dumb question is the one that remains unasked. No, a child who is gifted will remain gifted their entire life. They may not "live up to their potential" though; That's where we (parents) come in.

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She also specifically said he has a "photographic" memory. Can anyone tell me what this entails (besides the obvious of coarse)?
Thanks all.
It means exactly what it sounds like; that he can accurately recall just about anything he's seen. Some people can do this with things they see, some with things they hear, and some people have "bosy memory" where thay can learn to do a physical task once and they never forget it.

I'm not sure what your question is, though.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#77 of 366 Old 01-30-2005, 04:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was considering homeschooling, but I believe in my gut at this time, that DS # 1 needs to strengthen his socialization skills. All he wants to do is play with and hang around adults.
If he's genuinely not interested in talking to/playing with other kids, chances are it's because he just doesn't relate to them on an intellectual level. My son is 9 and he's always preferred much older kids and adults. He does love to play with his sister and will play with other kids if they happen to be around, but he considers the adults in his life his true friends.

That's different, of course, than a child who WANTS friends his age but can't make any... in that case socialization might be something you'd need to put extra effort into.

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Is an academically gifted mind hereditary? I noticed some of you as adults were gifted or your SO was gifted....
To some extent it is genetic... obviously, brilliant parents are more likely to birth a brilliant kid than non-brilliant parents. My ex is fairly smart (high end of average, at least) and I'm probably on the low-medium end of the gifted scale. But our son is smarter than either of us. I sure as heck didn't teach myself to read at 2 or learn algebra by the time I was eight, but he did. Now it's at the point where if I need to know some fact, I'll ask him if he knows it.

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Also, sorry if this sounds dumb but I have to ask...can a child start out gifted and then turn "normal"
No, people don't get dumber unless they have some accident that affects their brain. However, gifted kids (especially ones left in school with no accomodations) can learn to dumb themselves down in the eyes of others in order to fit in. Thus the great "evening out" myth.

Good luck with your research!
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#78 of 366 Old 01-31-2005, 02:07 AM
 
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Is an academically gifted mind hereditary? I noticed some of you as adults were gifted or your SO was gifted....the good Lord knows I can debate with the best of them, write a term paper in record time, and know my American History and then some, but I am FAR from gifted. As for DH...he never studied and got straight A's however was never tested or said to be gifted. So where in the heck did our little guy get his brains? Does it skip generations?
You're absolutely welcome--I love spreading the informational wealth.
From the psycho/cognitive development articles and studies I've managed to (somehow) decode, yes, genetics plays a strong factor in giftedness. That is not to say that an EG child cannot just pop in out of the blue, but they are more likely to appear in families that have a predisposition to higher intelligence.

Now, as for not believeing you or your dh are gifted, well...our childhood was a time where the educational community was just beginning to recognise giftedness and tag us accordingly. But it was (and still is) all very hit-and-miss. I, like my children, was lucky enough to lend in a school system that didn't fight identification of GT kids, though they failed to screen at a young age. My mother and her siblings, as well, were recognised, though the only option open for them was grade skipping. But my father was labeled "stupid", ridiculed by teachers, held back a grade, etc. He, too, is gifted, but he is dyslexic (another genetic goody passed on to me ) and a visual-spatial thinker. So, giftedness is not defined by official recognition, nor is it strictly hereditary.

As for skipping generations, I couldn't say. In my mother's side of the family, several people each generation are gifted, usually HG, occassionally EG/PG. Statistically, parents/offspring and siblings are more likely to have IQs within 10-20 points of each other. This range difference increases as the difference between parent IQ enlarges (eg. Mother IQ=150, Father IQ=120 vs. Mother IQ=150, Father IQ=140) Again, this subject is explored pretty well in many of the Davidson articles.

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I came out and asked his teacher point blank if she considered him smart or gifted and she said without hesitation in her opinion that we have a gifted child. She also specifically said he has a "photographic" memory. Can anyone tell me what this entails (besides the obvious of coarse)?
Thanks all.
Memory is a funny thing. Apparently, one of the key differences between a GT person's brain and an "average" person's brain is memory function. Gifted people simply have a more efficient memory retrieval system than the rest of the population. When the average person tries to access knowledge, they use a significant amount more of brain power than someone of normal intelligence. It's really quite astounding. You'd think GT would use more brain power to retrieve, but if you think along the lines of the most efficient process, then I guess it is logical. Someone on another forum tipped me off to a link from a researcher studying cognitive neurology. He did brain scans of math talents working and compared them to normal preople doing the same problems. I'll give the link. It's full of a lot of medical jargon that can be a headache to wade through, but it really is quite astounding to actually see what our children's neural pathways are doing.


This is all in .pdf, and in two parts.

"Brains on Fire" Pt 1:
http://www.neurolearning.com/nagceides.pdf

"Brains on Fire" Pt 2:
http://www.neurolearning.com/giftedkidguide.pdf

And this is the parent site of the researcher with all kinds of neuro-babble-filled links. But go to the "Giftedness and Fostering Gifts" subsection:

http://www.neurolearning.com/library.htm
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#79 of 366 Old 01-31-2005, 01:14 PM
 
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Last night I read an article about gifted children that literally made me cry. It was about dual and misdiagnosed gifted children, and it really got me thinking.

I've been diagnosed as bipolar. I've actually been diagnosed with many many different brain disorders, but having read the DSM myself, bipolar is the only one that ever actually fit. The thing is, according to this article and a few others I've read since, every single one of the traits which make me bipolar is inextricably linked to giftedness! I'm shocked. Really. Is it actually possible that I'm not crazy at all, that I'm just really freaking smart and *that's* what's wrong with me?! I'm having a really hard time wrapping my head around that idea, but it really makes a lot of sense.

It's absolutely heartbreaking to me, and it really puts my entire life into a different light. I feel a stronger need than ever to do right by my kids; after all, they may not have crazy genes, just smart ones. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or what, I just feel so confused by it all right now. I've got to chill out and sort and decide what I"m going to do. Is it possible that I'm not actually crazy? Wow. That's been a part of my identity for so long... literally all my life!

I think that at my next dr's appointment, I will ask her to make me a referral to a shrink who'll administer an IQ test, and find out if there are any shrinks around who deal primarily with profoundly gifted children & adults. Maybe that'll help me sort things out. I'm not keen on IQ tests, but if it'll get me some help and some ideas for dealing with this mess, then I'm game. We're talking about my babies' future, after all!

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#80 of 366 Old 02-01-2005, 01:42 AM
 
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Eilonwy---Wow. I have recently become aware of misdiagnosis in GT kids (we are beginning to doubt the AD/HD label given dd), but for something that extreme...!!! Absolutely you should find a specialist. I'm not overly familiar with bipolar disorder, but I do know it is devastating. I know I cringe whenever I think we may be unnecessarily medicating dd--and we even took her to see a ped psych for 2nd opinion on her initial diagnosis. Just demonstrates both the difficulty in concretely diagnosing psychiatric disorders, and the depth of ignorance the medical community at large has in regards to the workings of the HG mind.

Good luck to you!
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#81 of 366 Old 02-01-2005, 01:43 PM
 
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Hi Guys,

I've been reading via email, I can't visit here as much as I want.

I do wonder about genetics too. Both DH and I are on the higher end of the bell curve. I think there is also a mental health connection. I have PPD and I think I would be catagorized as bi-polar too if I ever pushed for it. I would say I am bi-polar light since I am never quite as manic as I have read about nor am I even quite depressed as I have read.

I have a strange question for you all. What happens when your child is wraping their brain around a new concept? Goo just turned 2.5 in late January. She is learning about bones because one of her songs has bones in it. We passed a chiropracter's office yesterday and it had the typical spine on the sign. I showed it to her and explained that those were bones. She pointed to the tail bone and I explained that. At bath time, I explained how she could find it and she did and spent half of her bath time touching her tail bone and explaining to me that it was above her anus, etc etc.

Then when she was falling asleep she was talking IN HER SLEEP about her tailbone and how Mommy has bones and Daddy has bones and Moo has bones and if you squeeze your finger you can feel your bones (I had used that to help her understand that she had bones inside her, but we can't see them). Is this normal for a child to do this even in their sleep to understand a new concept?

I do realize that bones are a hard hard concept. They are not visible. They are both a concrete and an abstract concept at the same time. She can feel them, but not touch them directly. She can't SEE them.

What do you think? Is this a normal way of the brain to learn something difficult?

Thanks
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#82 of 366 Old 02-01-2005, 01:57 PM
 
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Heh. I had to reply to the bones post. My son went through a bones phase around 36 months. He was absolutely fascinated by them. Our chiropractor let him touch the real human skull in her office and sent him home with kids' anatomy books. He doesn't talk in his sleep, but everything at our house revolved around bones for a while. We had to look at the animal skulls at the science center...he had bones shirts...he talked about bones a lot. Then, one day, he dropped it like a hot potato. I don't know if it's an age thing or a gifted thing or just a personality thing. But he eats, lives and breathes one thing to the exclusion of others, masters it (if it's a skill) and then drops it for a new obsession. He's all or nothing.
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#83 of 366 Old 02-01-2005, 11:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think it's normal for kids (especially these guys) to talk about something new they're learning in their sleep. I know Hollis says he can't turn his brain off, that it's going fulltime, even when he sleeps. Sometimes it frustrates him.
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#84 of 366 Old 02-01-2005, 11:33 PM
 
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Whew! Good to know that! I worry about the sleep talking. I swear!

BTW I love your photos of Hollis and Annika!
They are so happy looking!

I told Goo today that I should find her a picture of a skeleton to look at. I asked her if she knew what a skeleton was. She said "yes mommy, like in Nemo." "In Nemo?" "yes, in nemo, Nigel" "Oh honey, that's a PELICAN! Not a SKELETON!"

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#85 of 366 Old 02-02-2005, 01:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeftField
He doesn't talk in his sleep, but everything at our house revolved around bones for a while. We had to look at the animal skulls at the science center...he had bones shirts...he talked about bones a lot. Then, one day, he dropped it like a hot potato. I don't know if it's an age thing or a gifted thing or just a personality thing. But he eats, lives and breathes one thing to the exclusion of others, masters it (if it's a skill) and then drops it for a new obsession. He's all or nothing.
These "obsessive" behaviours are typical of HG+ people. (I say people, not just kids because I still suffer from this, as does my mother.) I read one researcher's study and they summed it up so beautifully. To paraphrase:

They latch onto a new concept and feverishly set about learning everything they can about it, until they extract what they want and then lose interest rapidy. Kind of like opening a box of Oreos, licking the filling out of each one, then never wanting to lay eyes on another choclately sandwich again. This would explain my house full of barely-used expensive hobby paraphanelia.

And my brain almost never turns off, either. I was told I suffered from mild insomnia and anxiety, but I don't usually worry. I just can't stop thinking...about everything. Once I made the connection with dd and ds' clandestine all-night reading sprees, it made keeping patience with them much easier.

Dd & I, looking through one of her geograpy workbooks:

"Look, Mom, it's Texas."

"Yes, I see. That's where President Bush is from." Pause. "George W., I mean. There have been two---"

"No, Mom, George W. Bush is from Connecticut."

"No, honey, he's from Texas. He was governor there."

"No, Mom." Obvious exasperation with parental obtuseness. "He was born in Connecticut. Then he moved to Texas."

"Really?"

"Yes. Then he moved to Massachusetts, then to Texas."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Uh-huh."

Dh pipes up.

"I'm going with the 5-year-old on this one."

'Death to men' glare. Stupid husbands. Why did I get married again...?

lol After bedtime, I just had to look all that biographical info up. Heaven help me, but I have no idea where she got all this info from, but George W. Bush was born in Connecticut, was raised in Texas, attended Harvard (in Massachusetts--yes, I had to look that up, too), then returned to Texas where he eventually became governor, blah blah blah. Apparently, dd got into one of the Social Studies teacher's books.

I hate politics.
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#86 of 366 Old 02-02-2005, 12:41 PM
 
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I would go with the 5 year old too!
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#87 of 366 Old 02-02-2005, 01:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeymom13
Eilonwy---Wow. I have recently become aware of misdiagnosis in GT kids (we are beginning to doubt the AD/HD label given dd), but for something that extreme...!!! Absolutely you should find a specialist. I'm not overly familiar with bipolar disorder, but I do know it is devastating. I know I cringe whenever I think we may be unnecessarily medicating dd--and we even took her to see a ped psych for 2nd opinion on her initial diagnosis. Just demonstrates both the difficulty in concretely diagnosing psychiatric disorders, and the depth of ignorance the medical community at large has in regards to the workings of the HG mind.
You should look up the DSM definition of ADHD yourself and see if she actually matches the criteria or if her "issues" would be better described by giftedness.

Foobar-- there are several mood disorders which are similar to type I bipolar (what you're thinking of) but are less severe. In type II bipolar, for example, the midline is set lower; the highs are not as high but the lows are just as low if not lower. The episodes also tend to be shorter. I think what you're describing sounds more like one of the other dysthimias, though. I'd have to look it up. :LOL

Last night I was talking about this stuff with my mom. She said that her mother always theorized that she was only depressed (my grandmother suffered from depression from the age of five) because she was "too smart." My mom just never thought about it-- I think because she only got really depressed after her father died when she was 14. She said I should definately have my IQ tested, because the guy who'll do it (she had hers done recently-- she thought she was losing her memory) will be thrilled and excited to see me. :LOL I'm wondering, though-- the last time my IQ was tested, I was 12 years old. How much is it likely to have changed, if at all? And good grief, what if it's lower? :LOL

I already know what I scored back then; I'm still not 100% convinced that having another test will get me the help that I need, or that it will help me raise my babies in a more understanding environment. Any thoughts?

Bones-- I know that ChibiChibi went through a serious bone phase when she was 2.5-3. She didn't have any trouble with the idea that they were inside her body, because she'd had a kidney ultrasound and she'd seen that her kidneys were in there; it wasn't a big leap to say that her bones were the hard things inside of her.

I think that the fanatic devotion to a single topic can be age-associated. I know that when I was a kid, I didn't talk in my sleep much, I just didn't sleep when I was learning something new. Today, I can be just as fanatically devoted to a topic but I'm much more inclined to do things like eat, use the bathroom and sleep than I was as a small child. I thought, when I was very small, that I might forget where I was if I went to sleep, so I was afraid to sleep while I was into a big project. Isn't that awful? : I thought I was stupid for a while. Then I wavered back and forth between thinking I was stupid and thinking I was smart. I can remember thinking that people were telling me I was smart because I wasn't pretty and they had to say something nice to me. Totally convoluted thinking, I know, but I still have a tendancy to overthink things today.

I'm considering writing to The Davidson Institute or SENG and asking them for help-- what do you think? I wonder if they'll think it's presumptuous of me to tell them my IQ. Argh, I'm so conflicted about that number! Seriously, I love having information about everything, especially my brain, but when I think of my IQ I just feel like more of a failure than ever, because I ought to be able to do anything just like people have been telling me all my life, but here I sit with nothing to show for my life so far but 90 extra pounds and two kids. I read that there's an "optimum IQ" range, that if you fall outside of it you're less likely to be sucessful; I fall way the hell outside of it. But it's one thing to know it in your head and it's another thing entirely to believe it. Not my IQ score itself, but the idea that it really does make it difficult to function with normal people. I don't know why I have trouble believing it, though; I mean, someone whose IQ is as far to the left as mine is to the right would not be expected to function in society independantly at all, so why do I think I should be able to manage it without help? I'm still working on it, but it's not remotely logical and that messes with me.

BeanBean has been learning new things at a phenomenal clip. I tried to teach him some nursery rhymes the other day because I realized that I had been neglecting that aspect of his education. We went all the way through "Hey Diddle Diddle" and then he said "Mamma, I want to do 'The Caterpillar,' by Christina G. Rosetti." He hasn't heard it in at least a month-- it's the first of my niece's poems to memorize from her grammar book. Not only did he remember the title, but I discovered that he actually knows the entire freaking poem! Amazing. And here I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, he'd turn out to be not quite as gifted as I'd previously believed, because at 27 months he's not quite reading yet. Now I'm starting to wonder if I underestimated him.

If I could choose an IQ for my kids, I'd put them at 135-- right smack in the middle of that optimum range. I would never wish my brain on them. If I had to make a guess as to my husband's IQ, I'd put him right around there, maybe a teensy bit lower. Even so, if you average my estimate of Mike's IQ (132) and my (known) IQ, you get a number outside of the optimum range again. And that's without taking into account things like attachment parenting, TCS, the fact that we feed them and love them, etc. Are my babies doomed to be weird? Will I really find comfort in a support group for parents of gifted children when my own children may well be outside of even the gifted comfort zone?

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#88 of 366 Old 02-02-2005, 02:15 PM
 
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eilonwy---

Excellent post.

I wish more people realized that the difference between a highly gifted and a moderately gifted child is just as much as between a child of average intelligence and a moderately gifted child. The difference between a moderately gifted child and profoundly gifted child can be MORE THAN the difference between a moderately gifted child and a moderately retarded (sorry for term) child. This is clearly not reflected in educational choices for gifted children.

 

 

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#89 of 366 Old 02-02-2005, 02:23 PM
 
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Don't worry about the reading yet. He'll get there when he is ready.

Goo is quite happy to take a book and read the memorized words back to herself.

As for IQ, I've never been tested nor do I want to. I just don't see the point. I would rather challenge myself and my children based on how we are progressing in life rather than worry about a number, KWIM?

But then again, I've always been highly motivated and it sounds like you were pushed away from that early on....
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#90 of 366 Old 02-02-2005, 03:16 PM
 
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Don't worry about the reading yet. He'll get there when he is ready.

Goo is quite happy to take a book and read the memorized words back to herself.

As for IQ, I've never been tested nor do I want to. I just don't see the point. I would rather challenge myself and my children based on how we are progressing in life rather than worry about a number, KWIM?

But then again, I've always been highly motivated and it sounds like you were pushed away from that early on....
That's just it-- I was motivated once upon a time, and I totally lost it when I was about seven. Everything was just so boring, so I'd just sit around and read books and learn what I wanted to learn. I think I'm still motivated, but now I'm motivated to do right by my kids, pretty much to the exclusion of everything else. I can't remember the last time I did something that I didn't feel on some level would benefit my children. Even so, I don't feel that I'm progressing in life at all. Yesterday my mother asked my sister how many college credits she has (1.5 years). I cracked up laughing-- I actually have just over three years of college credits, and at this moment very little motivation to earn a degree at all.

I want my babies to stay motivated, and I want to know if I'm crazy or just smart, or some combination of the two. I suppose that it's unlikely I'll find a shrink around here who has some familiarity with people in my IQ range, but if I could find one who deals with highly/exceptionally gifted kids, maybe they'd be able to understand and sort it all out... I dunno.

BeanBean just brought his sister a piece of toast, because he couldn't find the graham crackers. "Is she allowed to have toast?" he asked. When I said yes, he went and made her a slice of toast. What a love.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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