Okay, that's probably a crappy title, but I was trying to put it all in there.
Ds is extremely verbal and gets concepts quickly. That being said...he's still 28 mos and hasn't matured emotionally at the same rate, obviously, as he has in some intellectual capacities.
What do I say to dh to get him to SEE and UNDERSTAND that, and respond in an appropriate way? Dh treats ds as if he's 5 or 6 rather than 2. He expects compliance the first time he requests it
thinks he can reason with ds (sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't), etc. I could go on and on but you all get the gist.
To make it worse, dh is far more mainstream than I am, and is inclined toward punitive responses when ds pushes his buttons. He won't read a book about this, so please don't give me book suggestions! I will just read them and get more upset about all the great things I can't implement. Is there a gentle phrase I can use to make him understand? Is there a bulleted list somewhere that I can post all over the house?
Please help! This situation is so frustrating. I know dh's response is rooted mostly in insecurity about his own intellect (he is above average but not gifted) and I think, in the back of his mind, there is a little demon whispering that ds is smart and willfully trying to disobey/frustrate him.