I'd love to find out what all of you wish you had known about your gifted kids sooner rather than later. What do you wish you had done differently, recognized sooner or anything else that stands out in your mind?
Originally Posted by LeftField
Deep in my heart, I knew that everything was fine with my non-talking toddler (under 22 months of age). I knew there was something about him that was deliberately holding back on this for some reason. I let my ped raise all kinds of alarms over the lack of speech, despite the fact that ds displayed no other unusual signs (Ok, he read letters in fine-print but I don't think the ped believed me at all on that one). He made excellent eye-contact and even though all he said was a string of "dadadadada", he babbled constantly. He made me sit and identify every object on his Pooh sheets, over and over and over, which was so tedious. He'd ask, "Da?" and I'd reply, "Piglet", then "da?" followed by "birdhouse".
"Da?"
"Bird's nest"
"Da?"
"I told you. It's a bird's nest."
"Da?"
"BirdHOUSE"
He was relentless in needing to know what pictures in books were. But yeah, all he said was "dadadadada" or some variation. He was very expressive and he had excellent passive speech skills. He understood what we were saying.
But the ped was hung up on that silly word checklist and I really let him get me upset over his repeated insistence that we needed an evaluation. I let myself get all worked up over this, even to the point where I was researching hyperlexia, autism, apraxia, etc.
My SIL is a nurse and she was the only one who was very vocal about relaxing and trusting our instincts. And you know what? Our instincts were spot on. It's the whole visual-spatial, perfectionist thing he does, where he amasses a ton of info before attempting the task for mastery. I wish I would have known that his speech would have caught up in a matter of a few months. And I wish I knew that I would have a 5 year old that absolutely won't stop talking! Heck, I wish I would have known that I'd have a 3 year old (i.e. my oldest) who constantly talked and asked me questions all day long!
Like you, I worried myself way too much over things that not only turned out fine but ended up being part of a larger pattern.
Thanks for this. I have a 21 month old who fits your son's former description perfectly. I've been a little worried and have been researching apraxia. It's good to know she might be completely fine.
Deep in my heart, I knew that everything was fine with my non-talking toddler (under 22 months of age). I knew there was something about him that was deliberately holding back on this for some reason. I let my ped raise all kinds of alarms over the lack of speech, despite the fact that ds displayed no other unusual signs (Ok, he read letters in fine-print but I don't think the ped believed me at all on that one). He made excellent eye-contact and even though all he said was a string of "dadadadada", he babbled constantly. He made me sit and identify every object on his Pooh sheets, over and over and over, which was so tedious. He'd ask, "Da?" and I'd reply, "Piglet", then "da?" followed by "birdhouse".
"Da?"
"Bird's nest"
"Da?"
"I told you. It's a bird's nest."
"Da?"
"BirdHOUSE"
He was relentless in needing to know what pictures in books were. But yeah, all he said was "dadadadada" or some variation. He was very expressive and he had excellent passive speech skills. He understood what we were saying.
But the ped was hung up on that silly word checklist and I really let him get me upset over his repeated insistence that we needed an evaluation. I let myself get all worked up over this, even to the point where I was researching hyperlexia, autism, apraxia, etc.
My SIL is a nurse and she was the only one who was very vocal about relaxing and trusting our instincts. And you know what? Our instincts were spot on. It's the whole visual-spatial, perfectionist thing he does, where he amasses a ton of info before attempting the task for mastery. I wish I would have known that his speech would have caught up in a matter of a few months. And I wish I knew that I would have a 5 year old that absolutely won't stop talking! Heck, I wish I would have known that I'd have a 3 year old (i.e. my oldest) who constantly talked and asked me questions all day long!
Like you, I worried myself way too much over things that not only turned out fine but ended up being part of a larger pattern.
Could have written this post myself, only the would was "mah" instread of "da"! Ds at 22 months could get me to write the alphabet, no, rub it out and do it in lowercase letters, sing the alphabet song, no, the Sesame Street tune...all by pointing and saying "mah". Now the kids never shuts up. I mean NEVER. SHUTS. UP. He particularly loves MCing recitals and other performances. He recently appeared on a local TV fundraiser playing piano, and insisted to the interviewer that he would interview himself, thank you very much, which he did quite verbosely both before and after he played.
And yes, he didn;t crawl but read early, and I heard all the autistic stuff about early reading too, but fortunately not till several years after he started reading. That's stuff I'm glad I didn't know!
He also has a lot of VS tendencies (combined with visual fine motor issues and possible some visual perceptual issues, just to spice things up).
Crawling IS good for hemispheric integration, though, We've taken to having crawling races when his brain gets tired or out of focus.
I know how you feel. I feel like I lost about 3 years with ds. But I'm completely determined now to not let another minute go by that I don't celebrate both of my children in some way shape or form. At least I can give them that.
back to you. I've been working on doing the same thing, celebrating them for who they are, and not letting worry spoil it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeftField
It's the whole visual-spatial, perfectionist thing he does, where he amasses a ton of info before attempting the task for mastery.
Yes, this would have been invaluable to me, too. I had no idea that ds wouldn't even attempt certain things unless he could do them perfectly.
Quote:
Like you, I worried myself way too much over things that not only turned out fine but ended up being part of a larger pattern.
Exactly. And it seems so silly now, all the nights I couldn't sleep, imagining the worst. But at the time, no one and nothing could get me to stop worrying.
Quote:
I wish I would have understood that 2 year old and 3 year old behavior are not reliable indicators of what a child is going to be like at 5. I used to read so much into my 2 year old's behavior and dislikes and developmental stages, convinced that it was some kind of tendency. While he's still a cautious boy, age 5 is nothing like 2 or 3. Actually 4 was a big year of change in terms of becoming more physical. I wish I hadn't worried myself over stuff that my 2 and 3 year old did, and assigned motivations to that small person that cannot be assigned to a person of that age. In some ways, I took him TOO seriously and worried myself to death for nothing.
I remember breathing a huge sigh of relief once he was about 4.5. A lot of things seemed to fall into place for ds. Ages two and three were just not good. Thank goodness he didn't stay the way he was then.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy
He didn't sit? That's fantastic! Bella didn't sit up on her own until, get this, YESTERDAY. She'll be nine months old at the end of this month. Before that, she would stay in a sitting position if a) she'd been put there and b) she had something to hold. Even then, she'd occasionally tip. She never put herself into a sitting position, nor did she stay in one truly unassisted until yesterday afternoon. I've been totally freaked out by it, because she cruises.
Thank you so much for that.
You're welcome, anything to help ease the worry.
Ds cruised for at least a month before he would sit. I believe he was at least 9 months before he would sit by himself, too.
He learned to walk/run between 9-10 months. And, finally decided to crawl at about 13 months. Looking back, with a calmer head, I can see that he had no time for the slowness of crawling. He saw that walking on two legs was more efficient, and went after that challenge.
But aiee, the stress of all of that. I remember it well.
Originally Posted by LeftField
Deep in my heart, I knew that everything was fine with my non-talking toddler (under 22 months of age). I knew there was something about him that was deliberately holding back on this for some reason. I let my ped raise all kinds of alarms over the lack of speech, despite the fact that ds displayed no other unusual signs (Ok, he read letters in fine-print but I don't think the ped believed me at all on that one). He made excellent eye-contact and even though all he said was a string of "dadadadada", he babbled constantly. He made me sit and identify every object on his Pooh sheets, over and over and over, which was so tedious. He'd ask, "Da?" and I'd reply, "Piglet", then "da?" followed by "birdhouse".
"Da?"
"Bird's nest"
"Da?"
"I told you. It's a bird's nest."
"Da?"
"BirdHOUSE"
He was relentless in needing to know what pictures in books were. But yeah, all he said was "dadadadada" or some variation. He was very expressive and he had excellent passive speech skills. He understood what we were saying.
Wow, this was exactly the case with my son before we started speech therapy. He had been talking a bit more earlier and had several words, but after the birth of his little sister he took a major step backward, he was about 20 months old when evaluated as being about 20% delayed in speech - he was signing in complete sentences, though! His word was "Yeah" with a specific laterized-tongue sound at the end. He's still in speech therapy to work on articulation to get rid of that sound before it turns into a lisp, but his language is now quite above-average, about nine months after started therapy. I was worried to death that he was deaf (DH's biological mother was deaf), and so I insisted on screenings and evaluations.
Now, my daughter seems to be following a similar pattern: very bright, but not verbally advanced at all. At 13 months she has about 5 words she uses regularly, and one sign. Hopefully, this time I'll have more patience and not freak out if she's a bit behind on verbal skills.
I wish we had known that OT with the right OT would make him more able to use his abilities, not "reward the problems."
I wish I had known OT existed and would help my child.
I wish I had recognized his physical needs as relating to his intellectual needs....
I wish I had never bothered calling ECI because they had such low standards that they couldn't recognize major problems.
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Related Threads
?
?
?
?
?
Mothering Forum
16.5M posts
285.1K members
Since 1996
A forum community dedicated to all mothers and inclusive family living enthusiasts. Come join the discussion about nurturing, health, behavior, housing, adopting, care, classifieds, and more!