Don't know what to think... I need advices, please!!! - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-12-2007, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello!

I posted only a few times on this forum, on the breastfeeding side.

I come back today for a completely different question.

Our daughter, 32 months old, is kind of ... surprising.
She's not "gifted", not doing any incredible things; No; However, she really looks a bit "early", and I am a bit worried about what to do with her, especially about her entry at school next year. (we are french, I work full time, so I have no other choice but to let her go at school by next september).

First thing, just to explain quickly what is surprising to our eyes (especially compared to her brother)
- Aged 31 months, she drew an almost complete "bonhomme" = man with complete smiling face, real body, legs and feet. We were so surprised, she was scared and completely stopped any figuration drawing since
- She talks surprisingly well, doing perfect sentences with perfect vocabulary, good grammar and conjugating (and in french, it's really complicated!!!)
- At the "creche" (place where she is during the day when I work), after only a few tries she was able to do a complicated game based on understanding a matrix, the lady explained that only a few kids normally do that at the very end of the year (in june) and after a lot of training on the game, so she did it 8 months earlier after seeing the game a couple of times
- I realized she learns the order of her color pencils (!!!) to replace them in the right order (she really NEEDS everything to be in a perfect order)
- Tonight we played kid-scrabble for the first time, she immediatly understood that she had to place the A letter on the A of the cardboard, the B and so on, she played simply... normally!


Nothing incredible, not "gifted", but a clever little girl.
Fine.
Now, my issue:

In france, kids aged 6 have homework, so my son does his homework every evening. Of course, my daughter also wants homework. I finally bought a book of school exercise for 2-3 years old. She's mad about it, she wants "more work", any time, waking up, she wants to "work"; obviously, the book is almost finished, she does about 10 pages everytime.

I know that I have to "feed" her, but I am a bit scared of doing the teachers job; I am scared that my daughter will get bored at school next year; i am scared that her teacher is not happy with me teaching...

I guess you had this kind of issue with your childs, so I would love to receive some advices

Thank you very much,
Emma (from France)
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Old 12-12-2007, 06:55 PM
 
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Since I have no idea how your school system works there, in relation to ours here. Are these issues you can address with her teacher before she starts school?

: Karen, wife to my : Mad Scientist and mama to :Emma (10-21-03).
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Old 12-12-2007, 07:05 PM
 
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I know that the teachers dont' like for you to teach their stuff in France, but it sounds like you're going to be holding her back if you don't. My son went to kindergarden and first grade in France and amazed the teacher that within just a few months, he was reading in French, when he didn't even know the language. There was so much work on poetry and dictation in the first grade that I think it really helped that he already was reading and writing.

The teachers can be condescending and mean to you, but you can ignore them. I had a hard time with them when I'd get my daughter (age 4) in the morning and let my daughter decide if she wanted to come back for the afternoon.LOL They thought I was nuts and would always tell me of all the important stuff she was going to miss

I find that the teachers liked to talk and lecture me, but if you just let them talk and do your own thing, it all works out. Maybe I was just lucky because I could pretend I didn't understand! I found that with the french, the less you talk, the better when it comes to doing what you want.

Have you looked into an ecole privet?
Lisa

Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will.  If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk Rainbow.gif  New  User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

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Old 12-15-2007, 09:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emma2409 View Post
I finally bought a book of school exercise for 2-3 years old. She's mad about it, she wants "more work", any time, waking up, she wants to "work"; obviously, the book is almost finished, she does about 10 pages everytime.
This sounds soooo familiar. my three year old daughter threw a tantrum, saying, "I want to do school, but you always try to entertain me!" She's horribly offended that Bean has more work to do than she does, that I don't work with her one on one as much as she would like.

Quote:
I know that I have to "feed" her, but I am a bit scared of doing the teachers job; I am scared that my daughter will get bored at school next year; i am scared that her teacher is not happy with me teaching...
I'm sorry to say this, but your daughter is already in a position to be bored in school next year. Whether or not you teach her, your daughter will learn. Even if she doesn't learn before school starts (and she probably will), she'll pick everything up within a matter of days or weeks, and spend the rest of the year bored. BeanBean was barely reading at all at the begining of the school year, and I made the mistake of thinking that the kindergarten phonics course would be appropriate as a result. Not so; He went from random words to emergent reading to small chapter books in *very* short order, with almost no input from me. He was totally bored with the kindergarten phonics course by mid-September and flew through the assessments at breakneck speed. The teacher can choose to be unhappy about it, but there's really nothing that you, as a parent, can do either way. Failing to teach your daughter when she's begging for more work and help will only breed resentment in her; It won't magically place her at grade level, nor will it spare you potentially unpleasant conversations with her teacher next year. She'll still be just that bright, and continue to learn very, very quickly.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 12-15-2007, 02:23 PM
 
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Yes, she is gifted. That is part of who she is and it is OK.

I would let her lead the way, because as other posters have said, she is going to fly through her work anyhow.

Welcome to our wild and wacky world!!

Courtney wife to geek.gif and mom to 4 boys: chicken3.gif   . I need caffix.gif !
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Old 12-17-2007, 02:26 PM
 
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Even if she doesn't learn before school starts (and she probably will), she'll pick everything up within a matter of days or weeks, and spend the rest of the year bored.
:
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Old 12-19-2007, 02:36 AM
 
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I'm always amazed at the tendancy of parents to say "my child's not gifted" like it's something to be ashamed or afraid of. You may not want to hear it, but it sure sounds like your daughter is gifted. Mine is and she shares ALL the same characteristics you listed for your daugther. My daughter read at 2 and LOVED those work books. Even though I was a single, working mom when she started school I knew I had to find some place that would honor who she was. Do they have schools for gifted children in France? I don't know much about your school system set-up. Even if you try to 'not teach her', a gifted child will find a way to learn. I actually caught my daughter when she was three trying to look up the word 'sperm' in the dictionary because she wanted to see if it would tell her how it was 'planted' in a woman.

I believe children like ours are here to create a better world. We shouldn't fear them or hold them back, we should honor their presence and strive to provide them all they need to succeed.
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