Anyone who is reading these kid-descriptions and nodding (like me) might also want to check out the following books.
_The Explosive Child_ by Ross Greene. Makes the point that they don't *mean* to infuriate you (no matter how m uch it feels like it sometimes :-p) And helps you figure out ways to head off a meltdown before it happens. Also points out that there is no point in continuing to try to communicate wtih a kid who has already hit meltdown. They're "not there" anymore until they calm down again.
_the bipolar child_ by Papolos and Papolos. Most of us probably *don't* have bipolar children, but this book has some really excellent strategies for managing difficult behavior.
_asperger's syndrome_ by Tony Attwood. Read this book, and you'll know more than most docs do about Asperger's Syndrome. As with the bipoar book, it's still a very good read even if this is not *exactly* what your kid is like. It's still a very good exercise in learning to look at parenting and child behavior "differently".
(I'm an Aspie, and boy did I learn a lot about myself from reading this! I am a *lot* easier on myself for a lot of things I do than I used to be.)
And finally, check out www.gtworld.org.
Especially the mailing lists! They have lists for GT adults (if your kid is bright, you're a prime suspect ) to discuss their own issues, a GT-families list for us to discuss stuff about our kids without boring the childless :-) And A GT-special list for special needs kids, as well as a GT-spec-home list for those homeschooling "twice exceptional" or GTLD (gifted, talented, and learning disabled) kids.
has tons of excellent resources for understanding a dealing with gifted kids.
I have been trying to get *help* for mty 3 and a half year old since she was a bout 6 mos old. She's always been *so* full-on and difficult to handle! I *still* think there's gotta be some way to help her better than I'm doing, but I'm usually too tired and demoralized to be very creative!
Unfortunately, the people we went to for help, were so clueless about *me* that they didn't have a hope of recognizing my daughter's issues.
Aspies sometimes have very poor eye contact and social skills. I'm one of those. But my "disablity" was used against me when they characterized my lasck of eye contact as "evasive and guilty"!
In the end, we were accused of (and eventually cleared of) child abuse, and I was recommended for psychiatric evaluation for possible mental illness (even though I'd been seeing a psychiatrist already, who said I was a perfectly "typical Aspie" and actually remarkably *well* adjusted!)
So much as I believe that labels can be used to find kindred spirits, and get access to services and accomodations, you have to be really careful about who you approach for help.
Please note that all of the grief that we went through would have been avoided if the people we saw *recognized* my own "label" of asperger's syndrome. Without that "label" to explain why I am different, People think all sorts of horrible things about me.
Labels are just tools. Like any tool. they can be used to create or destroy.