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Thanks for all of your input :
I have been putting some thought into the things mentioned and I have come to a few decisions:
1. This year is the year I make NEW traditions on Christmas day! I think that is what I really need to move forward and re-learn to love the day. My kids and I will open Santa's gifts, exchange our own, and just spend the day together. This year that will mean movies in the family room, playing with out new toys, reading our new books, and making cookies!! I haven't made Christmas cookies with my dd ever so this will be our new time to do that!
2. I do think I struggle with a bit of PTSD over this whole experience and if I keep feeling so... well so whatever it is I feel, I'm going to address it with a professional. If I can't get past it in 3 years, I guess I need a bit of input from someone who knows how to help me get past it.
Again, Thanks! and have a Happy Holiday!
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