When did you appreciate company/help the most? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 08-15-2009, 01:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi folks!

My sister is on bed rest, currently her third week in the hospital. She is now 31 weeks and will be 32 weeks in three more days. The last three weeks have been a crazy rollar coaster where they originally thought there was blood flow restriction through the cord and the baby was also IUGR and there was a rush to get her ready to be delivered. Now almost 3 weeks have gone by and things have dramatically improved. Blood flow looks perfect, baby is now no longer considered IUGR, but my sister will probably stay in the hospital on bedrest for awhile. I think there is no way to know at this point.
So, here is where I am stuck. I live in Seattle, she lives in Denver and I have small children and a full time working husband. I figure I can go out twice in the next couple of months for 5 days each time. I have a ticket for next week, which I bought three weeks ago when we thought her baby would be born. Now it looks like her baby wil not be born for awhile, but will still be early. I'm trying to figure out the best way to support her. I can go sit with her in the hospital next week, or I can reschedule and be with her after she has the baby (my original plan) and help her out while her baby is in the NICU. I guess I just can't figure out where I will be the most help. While she is on bedrest or after the baby is born but before she brings her home? I do plan on going out after she goes home regardless. Did you have a family member with you in the NICU? Was that important? We are very close and I have always planned on being there for her birth if possible and then helping her when she first brings the baby home, but this has just thrown a crazy wrench into everything. And it is killing me not seeing her while she is in the hospital but I want to be there when she needs me most, and neither if us seem to know when that will be.
Thanks!

, mama to DS(7/)22/02) DS (8/14/04) , and an angel (3/10/10)nursing a broken heart...loving my boys.
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#2 of 6 Old 08-15-2009, 02:35 PM
 
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I was on hospital bedrest for 10 weeks and was bored out of my mind! I would've loved to have company. It seemed like everyone came right at the beginning when things were dire (and I didn't want to see anyone) and then when things got mundane and I was lonely no one was there!

Wife to an amazing man love.gif, mommy to 3 wild dudes: ds1 (5/23/05 @ 30 weeks), ds2 (3/5/09) hbac.gif, and ds3 (9/26/10) hbac.gif. Part time librarianread.gif, full time mommysupermod.gif, occasional chef and maid.

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#3 of 6 Old 08-15-2009, 04:31 PM
 
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I think it's nice to have company while you're on bedrest- bedrest is horrible!

I have to say though that there was one time that I wouldn't want company/help and that was for the first couple of weeks after we got to take my preemie home. She'd spent 23 days in the SCN so when we finally got her home we wanted to settle in as a family and get into our routine....really, to just enjoy having her home with us like she was supposed to be.
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#4 of 6 Old 08-15-2009, 08:21 PM
 
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I was going to say that too. I asked no one to come for at least a week after I brought ds home. I just wanted to have him home and have some peace and quiet.

Wife to an amazing man love.gif, mommy to 3 wild dudes: ds1 (5/23/05 @ 30 weeks), ds2 (3/5/09) hbac.gif, and ds3 (9/26/10) hbac.gif. Part time librarianread.gif, full time mommysupermod.gif, occasional chef and maid.

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#5 of 6 Old 08-16-2009, 11:35 PM
 
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I was in the hospital for 2 weeks before DD was born and really appreciated the visitors. She spent 9 1/2 weeks in the NICU, during which I appreciated visitors as well. I was there a lot, frequently by myself (DH was working, so he mostly went at night.). Someone to have lunch with, or sit by Zoey when I went for a walk, was always appreciated. Like the others have said, I think I would not have liked visitors (at least immediately) after we got home.

Paula - wife to Mike, mom to Zoey and Zander
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#6 of 6 Old 08-17-2009, 07:02 PM
 
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I agree with everyone else. Visit before the baby is born while she is in the hospital.

After our ds was born, I didn't want people in the NICU since he could only have 2 family members at a time and anyone visiting would take away my or dh's time with ds. We didn't allow visitors in our home at all for a long time after ds was born. We brought him home during RSV season.

Wife of 20 years to my superhero firefighting DH. SAHM to 2 boys and 2 girls (3 babies in Heaven- Baby # 5 5/2010 & Baby #6 8/2011 & Baby # 7 2/1013). Cancer Survivor 2011 ( Persistent Malignant Gestational Trophoblastic Disease)

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