Hugs! Hang in there, mama! I know EXACTLY how you feel! I was a huge mess when my twins were in the NICU. I cried all the time, and yes it doesn't help that post-partum hormones are no joke! They spent a month in the NICU and it was agonizing, I missed them so much! But now it is just a blip on the radar. If I could go back in time, I wish I could have been less of a mess. But I don't even know if that is possible considering the recovery, hormones, and feeling like you are missing out on both the last bit of your pregnancy AND the new-mommy stuff! But I wish I could have just enjoyed them when I was visiting (I cried a ton in the beginning, especially when I couldn't be holding them!) and then spent my time at home healing/recovering and maybe worked on a project for their homecoming or something, I dunno- something positive to focus on. I'm sorry you had a rough day with him not eating well. It definitely was not your fault! If you think you have PPD, then maybe you should ask about some medications. Hang in there and just keep focusing on this beautiful baby boy!
Proud Mama to Abigail Noelle and Brady Phoenix (August 29, 2009) and Claire Zoe (October 26, 2010)