Last week I delivered my twins at 29w2d. They have been doing well, except for last night when my son had to be suddenly placed on a ventilator. He has since improved. My daughter was born at 2lbs,10oz, and my son was born at 2lbs,14oz. My daughter is already at her birth birth weight, off CPAP, and her feeds are now fortified.
I feel horribly guilty about not being able to carry them longer. I feel like it's my fault that my twins have so much to go through. I also have two other children who right now have a bit of a cold so I can't visit my twins. I call the NICU throughout the day to check on them. I feel like a horrible mother. I feel numb and a bit depressed as well. I feel lost because I had my babies, but I feel so disconnected to them.