Parents of former NICU or Preemie babies ??? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 182 Old 10-04-2004, 11:48 AM
 
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Oh Lori,

I am so sorry to hear that Mia didn't make it.



Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
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#122 of 182 Old 10-04-2004, 12:38 PM
 
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Oh, Lori, I'm so sorry.

My little boy is getting ready to turn two. I just can't believe it, it seems like yesterday I was bringing him home and now he's a little person, walking and talking and peeing on the potty. I don't know whether to : or when I think about it.

BooBah's most recent bloodwork came back stable; she's slightly anemic, though. She's got an appointment to see a pediatric nephrologist at the end of this month, and she's on prophylactic antibiotics for ureteral reflux. I get horribly depressed when I think about it, so I avoid thinking about it as much as possible. I've done some research online, and I've only found one syndrome which fits all of BooBah's issues; if that's what she's got,she'll need a kidney and liver transplant, probably before she's 5 years old. I printed a copy of the article for the nephrologist and put it away. Like I said, I try not to think too much. If it were anything else, I'd have a beer and try to relax but I worry about what even a small amount of alcohol would do to her liver.

She seems to have GERD as well; she vomits constantly and I'm afraid that she's losing weight. I'm told that GERD is more common in premature babies, but BooBah was full term... I'll take her in and have her evaluated, I guess. If she's not losing weight, and they don't think there's any damage to her esophagous I'll just deal with everything smelling like puke for a while.

I had to take BooBah in for an NMR, and we went upstairs to the pediatric ward to get the IV started. There were three people with us, and it felt awful, like I was some kind of condemned prisoner. I have a feeling that we haven't seen the last of the pediatric floor. I'm also concerned now that this might be something she inherited, and that would mean that her brother could be at risk for developing problems later in life. I'm terrified that someone's going to say "we should get some bloodwork and an ultrasound of BeanBean's kidneys"....: I really wanted this whole thing to be a fluke, but if it's inherited it changes all of our plans for the future.

Argh, I'm getting depressed again. Let's think happy thoughts!

I'm looking forward to BeanBean's second birthday, even though his first was a complete fiasco. I will ask my mom about having it at her house, and having a few friends and family members over. (Our apartment is not only tiny, it's really far away from everyone else.) This party is more for him than last year's was-- this year he's old enough to know what's going on and to care, and to ask for people. Last year only his godparents showed up, but he didn't care at all he was thrilled with the whole day. Once he got the idea of ripping paper off of presents, he was happy as a clam. :LOL

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#123 of 182 Old 10-04-2004, 06:01 PM
 
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Lori~ I am so sorry

I couldn't get to her wabpage. I will try later again. Peace to you.
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#124 of 182 Old 10-04-2004, 06:06 PM
 
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eilonwy~ The time goes by so fast! Happy soon to be two Birthday!

I can feel your stress and frustration and sadness. I can only wish for her to come through this in the best possible way. I will be thinking and praying for all of you.
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#125 of 182 Old 10-05-2004, 01:43 AM
 
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I just saw this thread today for the first time.

Lori - I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Mia. What a devastating thing. I hope you are doing okay.

I just wanted to throw our story out there.

I have four beautiful children They've all been in ICU for one reason or another.

Spencer (now 9.5 yrs) was a 32 weeker (c/s) due to rapidly decompensating Pre-eclamspia. He spent two months in the NICU, 1 month ventilated, and was on oxygen for a year. I was able to nurse him for 1.5 years! His major issue is very severe asthma/BPD (his last life-flight trip was about 18m ago.) and he spent at least one of the last two winters on oxygen. He also has *very* mild CP. He looks totally normal if you see him walking down the street, but he struggles w/ some things (global weakness, VMI, motor planning, etc.) He is at an academically challenging school & doing well. He is a 4th grader. He enjoys piano & art classes.

Sarah (now 6.5 years) was full term & vbac (yay!) but has a pretty interesting renal system. She has a hypoplastic left kidney & an insufficient duplicated right. She also has a completely duplicated collecting system & has had a BUR for vesicoureteral reflux. Her neph said she has a "complex urological system". Sarah spent a week in the NICU on diuretics (she had a lot of edema from her funky kidneys.) I was able to nurse Sarah for 3 years!! She is a first grader at the same school Spencer goes too. She is a quite talented little gymnast.

Megan (now 4yrs) was my sickest little one. She was 41 weeks (hbac!), but was born w/ very serious heart defects. You can read her long & emotional story here: http://tchin.org/portraits/megan-3.htm
She is in preschool now & doing well. She's a tough kid & I really hope she continues to do well

Thomas, my sweet baby, will be a year old on Oct. 13th. He was a 31 weeker due to HELLP syndrome (emerg. c/s). He spent some time on the oscillating ventilator and on the regular ventilator. He was in the NICU for 8 weeks. On a ng at home for 1 month (he's still nursing ) and on oxygen for 6 months. I have seen no ill effects from his prematurity. He does have moderate reflux (he's been on Prevacid since he was a week old.) and some food allergies (we actually see the allergist tomorrow). We aren't quite sure what all he's allergic to, but he had an anaphylactic reaction about a month ago, so we're anxious to find out.

We have actually had very positive ICU experiences. We felt loved by our physicians & nurses. All were very supportive of kangaroo care (w/ Thomas we kangaroo-ed from the time he was switched from the oscillator to the reg. vent.) and breastfeeding.

It's so nice to find a place where you can tell your story and feel heard.

I, too, understand the feeling of being "broken". We are part of a couple of genetic studies at the University of Utah. They have an amazing genetics dept. Dr. Opitz is there, for those of you who are familiar w/ his work.

Well, that's plenty for now. Nice to get to know you all.
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#126 of 182 Old 10-05-2004, 02:01 AM
 
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I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, I lost a baby before my son and I am sure he will take care of your Mia in heaven.
My son was born naturally with no complications until 12 hours after his birth. hey discovered he had a severe heart defect and needed open heart surgery asap. So they flew him to a hospital 2 hours away, where I went directly from the hospital, not even going home first. He had his FIRST surgery there at 4 days old. My son stayed in the NICU/PICU for 5 weeks the first time. I pumped my breast every 3 hours night and day, even when they told me he might not make it another day. It was the roughest time in my life. I was so humbled by the whole experience. All my plans for natural family living were on hold while my son lay there, unable to hold him for weeks dosed up on pain meds. Finally we got to go home at 5 weeks old. 2 Months later he had to go back. I pumped for 5 more weeks until he recovered. I remember on the peds floor when he wasn't as critical, I would curl up and sleep with him in the tiny crib every night. He had to go home on an ng tube to be fed, so I had to pump for 5 more months. He is doing awesome at 18 months still nursing and high spirited as he could ever be . You would never know he was sick. Blessings to all the moms and dads who went through such a heartwrenching experience.
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#127 of 182 Old 10-05-2004, 02:44 PM
 
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#128 of 182 Old 10-05-2004, 02:47 PM
 
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Lori, I'm so sorry to hear about Mia.
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#129 of 182 Old 10-07-2004, 10:46 PM
 
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Lori, i am so sorry for your loss of Mia!!
i've lost a baby, too, but i still don't know what to say
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#130 of 182 Old 10-12-2004, 01:44 AM
 
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thanks everyone for the kind words
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#131 of 182 Old 10-25-2004, 01:16 PM
 
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I just found this thread and glad I did. I have yet to read through it all but what I have so far has been very teary.
So sorry for your loss Lori

Well I just gave birth to my precious Megan just 2 weeks ago, I was 25 1/2 weeks. She was 1 lb 11 oz's 13 inches and had pretty good apgars of 6 and 8. She's doing very well now and I really hope she stays that way. Reading about other people's experiences and the fact their kids are now older and doing well is very uplifting and definitely what I need right now. I hope a year from now I can report that she's just your average baby and healthy I hope too.
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#132 of 182 Old 10-25-2004, 04:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Laura congratulations on your baby girl!

I am so sorry how she came into the world. But those Apgars sure are impressive and I'm glad to hear she's doing so well. Baby girls fare MUCH better than baby boys who are born early so you have that on your side too.

Are you pumping and saving your milk? It is literally amazing what breastmilk does for preemies. It is hard - VERY HARD - to make yourself get up 2x/night and keep pumping every 3 hours during the day (when I was in the NICU they had to practically force me to pump I never wanted to leave dd's and ds' sides) when your baby is in the hospital... I also got really depressed at like 3am when I was up pumping all by myself in a dark room attached to this machine instead of a baby - those were the times I really broke down and cried. But... it is the best thing YOU can do for her and some days, it might be the ONLY thing you can do for her. (FYI, if your milk's already dried up it's not too late to get it back.) Kellymom.com has great information on keeping up supply while pumping. Date and freeze your milk and as soon as she can take ANYTHING by mouth make sure it's your early antibody rich milk! My babies had only my milk in the NICU (and after) and even being born 2 whole months early never had a sick visit with the ped or took any medicine (not counting a dumb first-time-worrywort-mom ear infection experience at 6 months ). No coughs, no asthma, etc.

Please keep us posted.

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#133 of 182 Old 10-25-2004, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Tara congratulations on your bundle too! I'm sorry it was so rough but it sounds like she's doing great.

And congratulations on the exclusive nursing! That's exactly how long it took us too.... mine were 2 months early and it wasn't until they were 3 months old (1 month corrected) that they actually nursed a full day with no Medela SNS! What an accomplishment!!!!!
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#134 of 182 Old 10-25-2004, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh no. I am so behind. I thought I had come back a week or two ago but now realize it's been longer.

Lori I am so, so sorry for your loss. My heart is aching right now and I can't even begin to imagine how yours feels.
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#135 of 182 Old 10-25-2004, 05:32 PM
 
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Congratulations Ladies on your new babies!

It's hard to believe, but my little 32 weeker is going to be a year old on Thursday. It is so amazing to look back on last year and see how much she has changed and what she has accomplished.
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#136 of 182 Old 10-25-2004, 05:41 PM
 
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Came back to read some more, lots of reading here
Yes I am pumping! For the first few days I barely got anything, then bang it came and came. I have so much milk it's insane. I have probably a good 3-4 mth supply in the freezer for her at the NICU, one of the nurses was pretty impressed. I've actually even given some to my other dd. I actually cut down on pumping to 4 hrs during the day and I've stopped getting up in the middle of the night. I really needed the sleep. I'll get up again if I notice my supply dropping but no signs of that thankfully. I pumped w/my first and my supply dropped and had a hard time getting it back so I'll make sure that doesn't happen this time. I want her bf for at least 2 years thats my goal and I'll do everything to ensure it happens.
well off to do some reading, thxs ladies for giving your stories
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#137 of 182 Old 10-25-2004, 06:26 PM
 
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Congratulations, Laura! I'm so glad your baby girl is doing well!
I had to pump at first, too, but like you, found it not too difficult. DS is 6 months tomorrow, and today a woman from the hospital called, doing a survey and asked if i was still bfing..... i told her yes, i was doing it right then! :LOL i had to brag a little and tell her my 34 weeker is now 18lbs. and 28"long. I hope 6 months from now finds you nursing a big healthy dd!! Keep up the good pumping!
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#138 of 182 Old 10-25-2004, 07:06 PM
 
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Whoa just finishied reading. You all have been through so much.

With my first dd I ended up going into ptl at 31 weeks. They did stop labor w/the mag (I hate that stuff) I was in the hospital for a week and left on strict bedrest and I was at 4 cm. I was basically in and out of hospitals for the next 5 weeks and dialated further to 5 cm at 33 weeks. Luckily I made it to 36 weeks before I delivered. Kaitlyn was born at a good weight 6 lbs 12 ozs but she was rushed to the NICU before I even got to see her, she had an odd cough they said. I didn't have my glasses on so all I saw was a blur. But daddy was able to go with her. I didn't hear anything for a few hrs later, when my dh came in and said everything was fine and they'll bring her into my room soon. 5 hrs later I got to see her. She was perfect and was able to bring her home w/me.
Next pregnancy actually seemed to go so much better. My ob wanted me to take it easy w/this one and was to monitor my cervix closely. (thought I may have an incompentent cervix and yup most likely I do) everything looked great w/it at my 22 wk u/s. Then on Oct 6th I noticed some blood tinged mucous. I really didn't think much of it at the time, I was dealing w/a very sick 18 mth old so I was more concerned w/her. I finally decided to call my ob just in case and they told me to get the heck in there pronto. Ok, so I did thinking again not much was wrong. Boy was I wrong I was already 2 cm dialated and my water bag was bulging out. I was just shy of 25 weeks. So they rushed me to a hospital w/a NICU. I was freaking out, couldn't believe this was happening to me again and it was worse cuz it was much earlier this time. When I got the hospital I was already at 4cm, they gave me that lovely mag and fortunately my labor stopped. I was put in the turbulane (sp?) position and I was just a wreck the whole time. I kept hearing babies being born and people clapping and cheering. It really depressed me to no end, knowing I would not have that birth. The docs said I wouldn't make it to full term and were at least hoping I'd get to 27 weeks. Luckily I think the nurses knew I was getting depressed at the sound of hearing the babies being born so they were waiting for a room at the end of the hall to open up to put me in till I delivered. That was so sweet of them. It was a quiet room and I didn't hear any babies. I had severeal close calls, being put back on mag again. Then on Monday 10-11 I was doing great. I felt pretty good and kinda confident I could make it to 27 weeks. Well when I had to go pee, the nurse noticed I was bleeding. I didn't feel any different so again I thought nothing of it (I have to stop doing that) I was checked 10 cm and my bag was really hanging out. Wow I didn't have any contractions at all so I was shocked. They checked to see if she was head down and yes she was. So I got to deliver naturally. W/in a 1/2 hr of bering checked I started contracting. I probably had 10-15 mins of intense contractions and then she was born. She came out intact w/in her water bag. SHe even tried to cry which was a great sign. Of course I started crying like crazy and couldn't stop. I couldn't even bear to look at her. They kept saying she looked great for such a preemie. I didn't end up seeing her till the next morning. I was able to walk down to the NICU myself, physcially I felt fine. Boy whenever I walked in there I think I turned into a zoombie or something. I felt numb, when I saw her I just cried. I couldn't believe she was so small and w/all those tubes and wires. It was just heart wrenching. They said I could touch her but I couldn't I said I needed to go lay down. I went back a few hrs later and was a little better composed. I did touch her. Her little fingers grasped around my finger. It was sad to read of some of your experiences in the NICU. I have a feeling this NICU is will be great w/holding. They encourage me to touch her and talk to her as much as possible. I see lots of moms their holding their babies. I just can't wait till the day when I'll be one of them.
I felt so sad the first week. This was my last pregnancy. There is no way I will deal w/this again. I feel so robbed of being able to have a "normal" pregnancy and birth. I'll never get that experience of holding her right after birth and bf right away. I didn't even make it to the 3rd tri this time. I was barely even showing. I just started feeling her kick a few weeks prior. I didn't get enough time to enjoy that sensation. Luckily though Megan is doing so well so that helps ease the saddness a bit. I feel fortunate that she hasn't had any major complications yet and I really hope that continues.
here's a site I have set up for her http://www2.caringbridge.org/ma/meganelizabeth
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#139 of 182 Old 10-25-2004, 07:51 PM
 
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laura, i'm glad you're in a good NICU! when you get to hold her it will feel so good!

hang in there
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#140 of 182 Old 10-26-2004, 11:03 AM
 
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Laura
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#141 of 182 Old 11-04-2004, 09:01 AM
 
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have a question for any of you that had to be put on magnesium before you delivered. Just wondering if you had any lingering afftects from it. Everyday now I've had headaches and eye pains, the same feelings I had while on the mag. I also am sensitive to lights now. When I wake up in the morning I feel fine then it progressively gets worse through the day. I was also on mag 2x while I had Kaitlyn and I don't remember this. Of course I'm not sure if it's from the mag or not but it seems like it could be?
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#142 of 182 Old 11-04-2004, 10:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I did not have any effects from the mag, but... could you be experiencing symptoms of a spinal or epidural mishap... i.e., when they puncture (even a nick) the spinal fluid it can cause lingering neurological problems, which go away over a little time. Also, your symptoms could be exacerbated by lack of sleep, vitamin/mineral deficiencies, not to mention stress of course.. I think eye problems like that are also even associated with a thyroid problem? I'd go see your doctor (not your OB... a regular doc) and see if they want to give you a CBC to check your blood levels (to r/o thyroid etc.), and/or referral to an eye doctor, etc..

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#143 of 182 Old 11-04-2004, 07:26 PM
 
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Looks like I found you guys late in the game, but I have a 27 weeker born at almost 2 pounds. She was in NICU for almost 3 months. She is adopted and the first time we saw her she was ssooooooo small. She was a month old. She was born drug exposed. She is now 22 months old and walking. She is 20 pounds of sassy girl!
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#144 of 182 Old 11-04-2004, 08:10 PM
 
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awww I LOVE stories that warm the heart

Welcome!
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#145 of 182 Old 11-04-2004, 08:45 PM
 
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Laura, I think Periwinkle is on to something here. I had a c-section and had pretty bad side effects from the spinal. Head aches, light sensitivity & numbness in my right middle finger & part of my right index & right ring finger. All went away after time. I think it took a good 3 months or so to completely go away. How is Megan doing?

Welcome, Gr8ful4MyFamily. What a great story you have. Your dd is so lucky to have found you as a mama.
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#146 of 182 Old 11-04-2004, 11:28 PM
 
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Hey there fellow preemie/NICU moms! Wonder why I've never noticed this thread before? Oh well, better late than never, right? I'm actually a 2 time NICU mom. Kind of sad, but it kind of had it's upside. By the second time, all the nurses pretty much left me to do all the parenting, and didn't hover because they knew I knew what I was doing. I'll try to keep my stories on the short side so as not to bore anyone, but I warn you, I ramble!

Well, I got pregnant with my first child, my birth son (who now lives with my mom), Nick, when I was only 18, I was 19 when he was born. No support from the bio dad at all. I was due Jan 20, 1997. I was gaining weight at a ridiculous rate, and just generally felt like crap, but the doctors assured me I was fine, maybe just need to cut back on the calories! Well, until the day of my 32 wk appt, when they said "You have severe toxemia, go home, get your bag, have someone drive you to the hospital, do not pass go, do not collect $200, just GET THERE, ASAP!" Niiiiiiiiice. They were determined to keep the little bugger in for a few more weeks, but my body was just as determined that this situation should not continue. Checked into the hospital on Friday, by Monday, they were doing an amnio to check lung maturity and I was going into liver failure from HELLP syndrome. The fetal/maternal specialist came in an hour after the amnio and said "congrats, you are having a baby today!" My immediate answer was "How??" (not as dumb as it sounds, follow the convo here.........) "Oh, well we're going to induce of course!" I'm looking at him like he's got 2 heads. "You know he's sideways, right?" "oh no no no, the u/s said he was head down" Well,ya know, he's using MY pelvis as a hammock, I think I'D know! Made him feel the baby's head, at which point he says, ok, c-section! You haven't had lunch, right? Wrong........ So they are determined that I am going to wait the 8 hours past lunch to have the operation, except we have this small problem of my liver failing. Off we go to the OR, the spinal doesn't take, on with the mask! I'm thinking "well, this isn't going to work, it's coming off my face every time I exhale!" Next thing I remember is being wheeled into a recovery room where my mom is saying "Congratulations! Nicholas is here! Oh, say hi to your dad, he just got here too". Hmm, guess it worked.

He was small for gestational age, my placenta had been failing too. 3lbs even, and 16.5 inches long. But HEALTHY! My mom heard him cry from outside the OR! They brought me pictures, but I was still deathly ill and could not go see him for 2 days. He was on one of those oxygen hoods for 24 hours, but breathed room air after that. He just had to learn to coordinate the suck/swallow/breathe thing, and keep up his temperature and gain weight, all of which he did very very well. He went home at 17 days old, weighing all of 3lbs 12 oz. He never would latch on the breast, but I did pump for his first 6 wks. I just didn't know at the time how important breastmilk and nursing were, or I would have tried harder. I remember taking him to church on Christmas, and people saying "did you JUST walk out of the hospital or what?" and having to answer "Nope, he's a month old!" I think my age, the bad NICU experience, and my poor health all contributed to a less intense bond than I have with my other 2 children, sad to say. I loved him dearly, and still do, but it wasn't as hard as it ought to have been to say to my mom "Here, you take him while I get back on my feet". He's still there, even though I'm long since on my feet and then some. He's just happier there, and I can't bear to take him out of the only home he's known. He's doing really really well. He's still smallish for his age, he'll be 8 this month and only weighs about 45lbs, barely bigger than my 5 yr old. But he's remarkably bright, they've skipped him a grade in school (he's in 3rd grade now), and constantly astonishes his teachers with the answers he can come up with to any given question.

This was waaaaaaaaay too long. I'm gonna go do some laundry and come back with the story of ds #2
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#147 of 182 Old 11-05-2004, 11:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by myjulybabes
I think my age, the bad NICU experience, and my poor health all contributed to a less intense bond than I have with my other 2 children, sad to say. I loved him dearly, and still do, but it wasn't as hard as it ought to have been to say to my mom "Here, you take him while I get back on my feet". He's still there, even though I'm long since on my feet and then some.
T:Sometimes, caring for your child in the best possible way means that you're not your child's primary caregiver. I'm sure it was more than hard enough for you to make that decision, and I for one applaud you for doing it.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#148 of 182 Old 11-05-2004, 07:20 PM
 
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Wow, Josie! What an intense experience! Glad you came through it ok. Hope your next time wasn't soo rough...
And what generous love to let him be where he's happiest! Your ds is thriving, so obviously you've done well by him.
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#149 of 182 Old 11-05-2004, 09:15 PM
 
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Wow, Josie, What an intense experience for you.

((((((((HUGS))))))))) to you all
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#150 of 182 Old 11-05-2004, 11:15 PM
 
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Thank you so much ladies. It was an intense, hard experience, but I am of the opinion that everything happens for a reason. And one of the reasons in that experience I think was to prepare me for my next son. I think the other one was to give my mom a second chance to be the mom she wanted to be. She was just too stressed out with me and my brothers, and was not the worlds greatest mom. But by the time my youngest brothers were getting older, she had setttled down a lot and become a much better parent. So she got to "start over". And Nick is just thriving. I wish I could see him more often (I talk to him on the phone about once a week and see him about once a month), but he's doing really great.

And then we have Aidan. When I had Margaret, I did make it to full term, went into labor on my own at 40wks 4 days, had a nice VBAC (ok, I had the epidural, but it was WAY before I found MDC, so cut me some slack, ok? ). The only slight complication was mild pre-eclampsia when I was in labor. So by the time I got pregnant with Aidan, having had pre-e twice, my OB was on high alert, which I am exceedingly thankful for. At 29 wks, my bp started creeping up slowing, and I was showing just a trace of protein on my urine tests, so I went on strict bedrest. I was put on home monitoring, where I had to take my bp twice a day, and weigh myself and do a urine test and fetal kick count once a day and send it in by computer to a nursing agency. All went well for 7 wks, and I was scheduled for an induction the very day I'd be 37 wks. We knew he was a boy, and for reasons noone has figured out yet, statistically, caucasian baby boys do worse than any other gender/race combination when born early. So I really wanted to get to "term", but we couldn't risk my health by going much past that. Unfortunately, Aidan had other plans. At 36 wks, my bp shot up and wouldn't come down no matter how much water I drank, or how long I laid on my left side. Off to the hospital. They wanted to wait til the next day to do an amnio to check for lung maturity, but even in the hospital, and taking medication, my bp kept rising. At the point it hit 170/110, they decided not to wait any more, and gave me the Cervadil to start ripening my cervix. Told me it would probably give me some cramps, and MAYBE light contractions since I had had a baby before. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Those were so NOT my definition of "light" contractions. On the bright side, I avoided the need for Pitocin! LOL I was progressing at a fairly normal rate, things were looking good..........until the intern (teaching hospital) came to check me and said "That doesn't feel like a head". Um, you are KIDDING, right? He's been head down for weeks!!!! Nope, 3 more manual checks and an ultrasound later, we find that the little bugger has turned sideways in the middle of labor! I wish I had been in a state of mind to say "let me walk for awhile, change positions, anything, see if he will turn back", but I was sleep deprived, feeling miserable, and scared for my baby, so I just signed the consent for the c-section and off we went. Luckily, this time the spinal took and I was able to be awake. What a different experience! Not as good as a vaginal birth, but SO much better than being out cold. Dh held my hand, we chatted with the doctor, and I'll never forget them holding him up over the curtain for me to see when he was out "Yep, it's a boy! Hi mom!" He was pretty average size, at 6lbs 12oz, but he looked smallish to me after my 8lb dd with the bowling ball head! LOL Unfortunately, it wasn't all hearts and flowers for long. He did in fact have the dreaded "wimpy white boy syndrome", medically known as respiratory distress syndrome. They worked and worked and tryed everything, but ultimately, he had to be intubated. And since there were no more ventilator beds available in the hospital I delivered in, he had to be transported across town to Childrens Hospital. They brought him to my room first, but I could barely touch him, because it made him too upset.

So all this is setting up to sound even worse than the first time, right? WRONG! Completely sad and pathetic and WRONG, but it's amazing how much better they treat you when there is a Mrs. in front of your name and you have private health insurance rather than Medicaid.

The CH NICU was much nicer than the one at my delivering hospital too. And my OB was really great, she gave me a pass to leave the hospital to go see him the very next day, so long as I came back within 4 hours, since I was still fairly sick. And the day after that, the NICU nurses told me to bring a button down shirt, we were going to do kangaroo care . Best experience EVER. His heartrate and breathing smoothed out almost instantly, and he just snuggled in and went to sleep. The nurses really supported me in bf, they only fed him my milk, they agreed to use Avent bottles instead of the regular NICU ones, they'd bring me a privacy screen immediately as soon as I asked for it, etc. He latched on the second day that we tried (he was a week old and finally off the vent). And according to the nurses, he never wanted bottles after that. He'd have to be screaming-mad hungry, and he'd still just play with them. But when I'd come in and offer the breast, he'd just chow down. Unfortunately, my bp was still high, and I had another child at home, so I was only able to be there about 6 hours a day. It was an incredibly happy day when I came in to see him sitting in a carseat, hooked up to the monitors, doing the "carseat test", because I knew that meant he was coming home.

Of course, to this day, he's never stopped surprising us and giving us trouble. He was diagnosed with autism at 22 mos old. Nick also has SID (sensory integration dysfunction), which can be part of autism, too. I really think it's a combination of family genetics ( I teeter on the brink of Aspergers myself) and being born before the nervous system is fully mature, for my boys. But I love them both and wouldn't trade them for anything!

Unfortunately, due to all of this, we probably won't be having any more biological children, but we are starting the licensing process to become foster parents, and they think we'll be in high demand because we have experience with NICU, SID, and autism.
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