What we wish our family and friends knew about having a preemie/NICU/sick infant. - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 39 Old 01-04-2007, 11:57 PM
 
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I have a few more:

Dont send me a sympathy card, thoughts and prayers cards and dont give me the standard BS answer "If there is anything I can do for you, call me." Send me a blue or pink card and say I am thinking of you and your beautiful baby.

Do do stuff that you know I need or want done. I still need a gallon of milk, eggs, stuff for dd1, etc. All the stuff you pick up at the grocery, we need too. If you want to drop it off, please do!

Dont keep pestering me for answers. Dont say- But you said she was doing good. Guess what, that all can change in a second which is why they call it an emotional rollar coaster.

Dont tell me, what does your dh or you have to visit EVERYDAY? Well yes, its our child and we will and we dont need to actaully answer that...

If you just found out and your an aquaintance from church, school etc dont drill me how horrible it is. This happened to me- a couple who went thru out baptism class called me one afternoon as I just walked in. And was going on and on how horrible it was for us. I was on a high for doing Kangaroo care that week for the first time and this weirdo was telling me how "awful and horrible what happened to us". After a minute, I cut her off and said can you call me another time???

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#32 of 39 Old 01-05-2007, 04:38 PM
 
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Here is one. Don't compare my preemie baby's death to the death of an older person as no big deal since "you didn't know her anyway". My dh's sister did this last night at their uncle's funeral. Caused big blowup with my dh (who is still not managing his grief well) and got our aunt all upset as well. Whole family in an uproar but if I know my inlaws they will excuse her and make it my dh's fault any time now.

Lorrie
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#33 of 39 Old 01-06-2007, 01:10 AM
 
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Oh my, Lorrie. That is incredibly insensitive and I am sorry anyone said that to you. I can only imagine the restraint it took not to pop her one.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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#34 of 39 Old 01-06-2007, 01:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OGirlieMama View Post
Oh my, Lorrie. That is incredibly insensitive and I am sorry anyone said that to you. I can only imagine the restraint it took not to pop her one.

Actually, I was home with the kids, dh was the only one there. A cousin came in and physically removed my husband out of the house before he killed her.

Lorrie
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#35 of 39 Old 01-06-2007, 02:28 PM
 
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Ignore the tubes and wires and tell me he is beautiful. Because he is.
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#36 of 39 Old 01-06-2007, 03:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama View Post
Actually, I was home with the kids, dh was the only one there. A cousin came in and physically removed my husband out of the house before he killed her.

Lorrie
Lorrie, I am so sorry for your dh. Its amazing what siblings will say to one another and not think anything of it. She had to know it would provoke him.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#37 of 39 Old 01-08-2007, 01:25 AM
 
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Wow! This is great. I hope mama's of NICU babies encourage their family and friends to view all of these. My babies are now 2 1/2 months out of the NICU. Here's a few more:

~Don't even think about touching my babies without using antibacterial hand sanitizer... even if you think it contributes to allergies in our society. My babies are in the middle of RSV season!

~Don't expect to hold a baby when you come over (especially soon after they came home). I may not want them out of my arms.

~Don't tell me how luck I was to have my babies at the hospital so I could recover and catch up on sleep. There is nothing more in this world I wanted then to have my babies with me at all times. There is absolutely nothing 'lucky' about having babies in the hospital.

~Just because they are now 11 and 12 pounds doesn't mean they are immunologically as strong as term babies at that size.

~Don't tell me how lucky I am that my babies will take a bottle and pacifier.

Mama to DS & DD, 4 years old TWINS 
Birthing/Postpartum RN on my "free time".
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#38 of 39 Old 01-09-2007, 05:00 PM
 
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I haven't had to deal with being in the NICU for along time but almost 8 years ago when my Son was in there, he was the biggest baby in the place, weighed almost 7 lbs & all the other parents in there were like "Oh your so lucky, your Son is so big, he looks so healthy." I wanted to scream... "Well hes not! He has a rare heart condition that no one can figure out!"
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#39 of 39 Old 01-09-2007, 11:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rachelle-a-tron View Post
I haven't had to deal with being in the NICU for along time but almost 8 years ago when my Son was in there, he was the biggest baby in the place, weighed almost 7 lbs & all the other parents in there were like "Oh your so lucky, your Son is so big, he looks so healthy." I wanted to scream... "Well hes not! He has a rare heart condition that no one can figure out!"
I ALWAYS had a soft spot for those FT babies in there. Even though they looked like they could swallow my Maggie whole, I knew there had to be an issue for them to be there

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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