Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Brisbane Australia
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Addiction is something that's very common in my family. So I don't take anything that's not strictly necessary because I worry that I'll somehow become addicted. That said, during the past year or so I've come very close to going on anti-depressants. In hindsight I wish I hadn't been so stubborn because things would have been a lot easier if I'd just accepted help. Of course I'm not at my rational best when I'm depressed.
I wasn't psychotic either. I never had any scary thoughts about harming myself or DD but I did dwell a lot and go over and over the "what if's" still do on occasion.
I think the biggest part problem for me was not getting enough sleep. Erin's never been a good sleeper, she still wakes during the night and she's always tossed and turned all night and she didn't sleep well through the day either (turns out she was hungry but wouldn't eat). I don't think it was the whole problem but lack of sleep was what sent me over the edge, ya know? Past the point where I could deal with it myself.
My mum had to come and take Erin one day a week and I'd just sleep the whole day. That was the start of feeling better, to be fair, she probably would have taken Erin for the day a lot earlier then she did but I didn't want her out of my sight for a long time. By that time we'd also started to move into summer so I started taking Erin out in her bubble (the stroller with the rain shield covering it) so I didn't feel as trapped as much.
I still have the moments where I think "I just want to be normal. I want to go out to big shopping centers like normal mothers". DH has become very good a picking when I'm starting to not cope, usually before I notice myself so I can take some time out to sleep more or whatever before it gets bad.
hhhmmm...That's probably not particularly helpful...