My friend and her 26 almost 27w twins - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 10-25-2008, 03:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The title pretty much sums up the case. She had twin boys and they are in NICU. I don't have many details other than they are 26w 6 days and currently in NICU. She mentioned brain bleeds for them and it being a wait and see for now.

I want to help her as best I can. She's totally focused on being with her boys (totally understandable.) For those who've BTDT, is there anything you wished or in hindsight could see family/ close friends doing for you? I don't want to intrude or barrel over boundaries she needs, but I do want to give those little things no one else may think of because they haven't experienced the situation (I know I haven't.) Any insight?
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#2 of 3 Old 10-25-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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If she has older kids, watching/feeding/hanging out with them is a wonderful help. The biggest help I had was everyone watching my older kids and making sure we had dinner when we got home from the hospital. Perhaps, helping clean the house, depends on the person. Some people are funny about that. I hate cleaning, but I also hate other people cleaning my house, lol. Lots of love and prayers. And just the offer that you're willing to help out however they need.

You're a good friend to come here and ask how you might be able to help her!
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#3 of 3 Old 10-25-2008, 01:36 PM
 
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She may not be able to tell you what help she needs if she is really exhausted. Bringing food over is helpful, as are the other thing the pp mentioned. If there are vending machines in the hospital, rolls of quarters are good, a cafeteria card so she can buy meals there. If parking isn't free, paying for parking for a month.

Preemie size clothes are nice, but the babies may not yet be able to wear clothes, and they may still be in the smallest preemie sizes that are hard to find anywhere but online. A small blanket or knit cap is nice.

If you are close enough to her to buy something like this, it may help her a lot to have a good breastpump for at home. Often there is one that can be used while you are in the hospital for free. But sometimes to take one home you have to rent it. Some women have better luck with pumps that aren't hospital grade and others don't, so it might be good to have a conversation with her about it when she's up to it.
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