Have you called your midwife/ob yet? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 08-01-2006, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I found out on Saturday and I haven't called my midwife yet. I'm only four weeks, so no huge rush.

I'm a little nervous about calling her. I love love love my midwife, but I haven't seen her since last year about this time. I was supposed to do something for her and I didn't because I got caught up in some terrible family issues. I feel bad that I didn't do it.

I really can't wait to see her though. One of my favorite things about pregnancy is getting to hang out with her.

I'm also a little worried that my insurance won't pay for a homebirth this time around. I've had to pay half out of pocket for my first two births, but I'm really hoping ins. will cover at least 80%.

Anyone have Regence BC/BS for a homebirth?

I'm also wondering what everyone else's plan for birth is? Home? Hospital? Center?

I'm ready for our DDC to be rockin' even though it's pretty early!
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#2 of 23 Old 08-01-2006, 03:16 PM
 
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Well, the *plan* is for a homebirth, but I have yet to find a hb midwife even remotely close to us so no, I haven't called one yet! If we can't find one in the area that we're comfortable with, I'm considering switching insurance coverage during open enrollment (October) to a plan that will cover the freestanding birthing center down the road. IMO, that's going to be the next-best thing for our situation. I'm drawn to the idea of uc, but dh will never, ever, ever go for it.

RE insurance: My insurance specifically excludes coverage for midwives unless they have a consulting ob to bill under, so it will all be out-of-pocket. Not exactly the best news, considering we're in the middle of selling one house & building another and dh is getting ready to go back to school. I have no idea where the money is going to come from, but am trying to trust that the universe will provide as long as we work hard and do our best.

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#3 of 23 Old 08-01-2006, 03:44 PM
 
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I'll probably be going with a local Birth Center, and I haven't met with them yet. I'll probably go in on Monday for a walk-in free test, and then see where to go from there. This is our first kid, so we don't already have a midwife of our own :-).

My insurance starts with my new job today, so the other day I went to the clinic from H's insurance (which I'm currently on), and got a pregnancy test. They just did a standard urine test and told me everything I already know. Then they made a appointment for me in September (9 weeks along), which I probably won't keep. I can't wait to get out of that insurance/provider.

With a midwife, what happens at the appointments? (In general, of course. I know everyone is different, but I'm guessing there are some trends/standards) How often do you see them?

I'm also wondering if the birth center will have a sonogram/ultrasound thingy, or if we would have to go to a hospital to get that done. Guess I'll find out on Monday!

So much to think about! I'm just trying to focus on staying pregnant at this point!
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#4 of 23 Old 08-01-2006, 04:00 PM
 
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I haven't called yet. Last time I had an OB at a hospital and ended up with an emergency C-section. I have heard lots of good things about different midwives in my area, but I'm not sure which one yet I'll use for this pregnancy. I'll probably try to get that all settled within the next two or three weeks.

We really want to have a homebirth, but after our horrible exprience last time, dh and I are a little scared to attempt it. But we're also reluctant to birth at a hospital again, so we will probably choose a birth center. There is one close to us, but they don't have a great reputation. There is supposed to be a wonderful one in Topeka, which is about 1 hr 15 mins away, so we may consider going there.

It's so exciting to be thinking about all this stuff!
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#5 of 23 Old 08-01-2006, 04:54 PM
 
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I am consulting with a new midwife tonight. I had a homebirth attended by a midwife last go around, and while I had a lovely experience, I want someone I can connect with better.
The one we are meeting with tonight is a little on the pricey side, for our area, but she drives out to my house! And her fee includes the assistant fee which is nice too.

So we will see. I have 4 or 5 that I want to meet with.

Shelley, mom to dd 5/19/01, ds 9/06/02, and ds 4/01/07.  Lost babe 4/09

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#6 of 23 Old 08-01-2006, 05:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I decided to bite the bullet and call her so I wouldn't stress about it.

Of course, she's just excited to see me and excited that we're having a baby. I don't know why I even worried. I will explain/apologize tonight when I see her.

I can't wait to see her tonight. She's having a class on vaccination/immunizations and then tomorrow we'll have my first prenatal. She said that she can't wait to hug me and I almost cried. I still feel like crying, but in a good way.

As far as prenatals go, she always came to my place, or if she was having a class all of us mamas would meet at another mama's house. I never spent less than 45 minutes with her, talking and laughing, getting excited about the baby. She always had me pee on a strip that tested for sugar and other things. She always measured my uterus. Listens to heartrate at every appt. with a forehead thingie or doppler? and makes sure I'm taking my liquid calcium and whatever else she thinks I need.

She is the ABSOLUTE best and I feel so blessed to have her. I wish I could share her with every mama. She covers like all counties in rural eastern Oregon!
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#7 of 23 Old 08-01-2006, 05:56 PM
 
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I made an appt with my midwife. It was easy: I was looking at my own schedule in the book and just wrote my name in! Perks of being a midwife, I guess! She is also one of my best friends. She is away right now, so I ordered my own prenatal blookwork and everything today. I almost started a chart for myself, but thought that might cross some boundaries!
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#8 of 23 Old 08-01-2006, 08:24 PM
 
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I called my midwife yesterday and found out she's on a 2 year sabbatical. But I'm meeting her partner tomorrow and she's supposed to be really good. I hope we click :. Luckily she'll be in town (she lives 45 minutes away) and will come to my house, so I won't have to drive to hers yet.

I've decided not to go with an OB at all this time. My dd was born in our (horrible) local hospital under a very nice but very old-fashioned OB. It was not a good experience. I want to experience birthing fully, with no medical intervention and no loss of self-empowerment or trust in myself this time.

Juliahhh, I've been told that the main purpose of a first visit with a m/w is simply to see how the 2 of you click. When I first met with my m/w (before m/c) she spent over an hour and a half with me and my family. We basically talked about ourselves, herself, our fears and expectations, etc. It was very soothing. I don't think she did any kind of medical stuff because I was only 6-7 weeks along. She said she would listen to the heartbeat next time, etc... HTH.
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#9 of 23 Old 08-02-2006, 08:47 AM
 
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I'm planning to call today - I just went to my family doc last night to get an "official" test. DH & I picked out which hospital we want to go with (we don't have any birthing centers around me, and we're not comfortable with a home birth this time around) and got the names of two midwives who deliver there. So I guess I'll just call up and see which one can see me first?? I'm excited & hope that I'll be able to get an appointment soon - if only just to meet them & see how we fit.

I was bummed at first that we would have to deliver at the hospital, but the tour we took was great - we felt very comfortable with the nurse who took us around and with the answers to our questions - seems like they're very flexible and that the midwives & nurses are really open to trying different things and not forcing stuff on you that you don't want/need.
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#10 of 23 Old 08-02-2006, 10:06 AM
 
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My appointment is tomorrow! I know I will get a bloodtest, and he may do a vag ultrasound - I still worry because of the m/c. I think it might make me feel better, unless there are high risks? anyone?
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#11 of 23 Old 08-02-2006, 11:19 AM
 
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I'll have shadow care at first but havent called yet. Dh just likes me to get an u/s. So I'll probably wait until closer to when they would do one to start going there. My homebirth midwife doesnt really start doing prenatals til sometime after 12 weeks. So I'll probably make an appointment around then.
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#12 of 23 Old 08-02-2006, 01:18 PM
 
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I called for my first appointment the day after I got my BFP. I had also wanted to get a quantitative so I set that up then, too. My first appointment is August 17th...can't wait! DH is out of town, so just going solo this time. I'll be dragging him to the rest of the appointments, though!

Re: Insurance I'm pretty sure my insurance covers homebirth (BCBS Carefirst BluePreferred)...it's pretty awesome insurance. If it doesn't, we'll still have our homebirth. No insurance company is going to make such a big decision for us! I think the total cost of the homebirth will be around $4-5K. BTW, what if a person ends up delivering in their car or the subway station because they couldn't get to the hospital or birth center in time??? Would the insurance still pay? Sheesh! There are worse places to deliver than in the comfort of your own home!

Freedom to make our own choices in life is not granted as ubiquitously in this country as it should be!
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#13 of 23 Old 08-02-2006, 01:28 PM
 
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we live overseas in a developing nation and i'm really HOPING to get one of my mw friends to come and do the birth, but haven't asked any of them yet. dd was born here at home with a mw friend, ds was born in the USA with a mw (at my parents' house). dh and i will do most of my prenatal care, maybe get some labs with a doc, and dh wants a u/s to see where the placenta is.
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#14 of 23 Old 08-02-2006, 02:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by didkisa
Freedom to make our own choices in life is not granted as ubiquitously in this country as it should be!
:

I got an appointment for Friday! DH won't be able to come, since it's in the middle of the day But once I get this first check up done, I think I'll be a bit more relaxed & flexible to work it out that he can be there, which he wants

For those of you who have done this before, are there any questions that I definitely should get answers to/tests that I definitely should have done? I imagine with the tests & such it's pretty routine - but so much nicer going into something like this knowing what you want rather than just going along with what you're told...
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#15 of 23 Old 08-03-2006, 01:14 AM
 
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I was too excited to wait so I called my midwife today. Well, she's not officially my midwife yet, but she sounded wonderful on the phone. She's going to call me tomorrow to set up our first meeting. Woo-hoo! I can't believe she will actually come to my house for all our visits - what a sweet deal!
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#16 of 23 Old 08-05-2006, 02:21 PM
 
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I just found out today (Sat) so I haven't yet. My OB/GYN has recently dropped the OB part of her practice, so now I have to find someone new. She gave me a recomendation and said that she attend my delivery with this MD. So I'll check her out and see.
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#17 of 23 Old 08-05-2006, 04:35 PM
 
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I met my new midwife yesterday. She's really nice, knows her stuff, and I think I might have clicked with her even better than my first one (from last preg.)......BUT she's $1000 more!! : I'm so bummed. Now I'm stressing about the money because while $1400 was somewhat affordable for us, $2400 is going to put us in even greater debt. DH is still supportive ("it's only money" he says) but I'm really stressing. If we had a good birthing center nearby I would consider going there to birth just so insurance would cover it. But there's nothing on the entire island.

The good news is that my midwife has an assistant who I really felt a connection with (though it was harder to get to know my m/w, and a bit overwhelming with 2). The more educated and supportive women at my birth, the better, as far as I'm concerned (I think). Maybe that's where the extra $1000 comes in? I should ask... I was too busy being in silent shock.
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#18 of 23 Old 08-06-2006, 12:09 AM
 
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Have you asked about payment plans or checked with others who have your insurance? I think some people have had luck getting reimbursed even when the insurance company first said no. Have you posted in the homebirth forum to ask anyone?
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#19 of 23 Old 08-06-2006, 01:31 PM
 
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nope, we havent called anyone yet. I have to first get health insurance (tennessee bc/bs will cover me, since im pregnant.. just have to call and fill out forms to get it), and find a good OB here in TN. i'd love to have a midwife, but am NOT about to drive 2 hours for a midwife, and there arent any midwives near to me who accept BlueCare and i dont want the same OB i had last time.. he was a real jerk (real pushy, didnt tell me WHY i should/shouldnt do something... and gave me a real attitude when i gained a total of 33 pounds in 8 1/2 months!) i figure it will be another 2 weeks before i can make an appointment with anybody
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#20 of 23 Old 08-07-2006, 04:06 PM
 
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I called my midwife today.
Love her sooo much.
But she broke my heart a little bit..
She doesn't see pregnant patients until they're in their 7-11th weeks.
So... no appointment for me until next month.
I think it'll feel a little more real when I have an appointment.
Hey, do you/did you take your partner with you to your first appointment?
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#21 of 23 Old 08-07-2006, 04:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wanted to take DH to our first appointment, but he was at the park with the kids and he was really sore and exhausted.

It's really just taking history and chatting for our first appointment anyway. He'll be coming to the next one because we'll hopefully hear Bump's heartbeat! I'll make sure my kiddos are there too. Today, Ayla was asking about the baby in my belly and I said, "Yes, honey, there's a baby in my belly."

She looked at it incredulously and asked, "Is it April yet?"

I told her mama's going to get a really big belly before April and then baby will come.
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#22 of 23 Old 08-07-2006, 04:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grapejuicemama
Today, Ayla was asking about the baby in my belly and I said, "Yes, honey, there's a baby in my belly."

She looked at it incredulously and asked, "Is it April yet?"

I told her mama's going to get a really big belly before April and then baby will come.
That's really cute

my DH wanted to come, but I wanted to get the soonest appt. I could, and it was during the day so he was working. He wants to come to the others, so I think we'll try to make it work. Definitely the next one when we'll hopefully hear the heartbeat
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#23 of 23 Old 08-07-2006, 05:08 PM
 
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Omahakate -

I hear your sadness - my midwife doesn't see patients until week 6, mainly because she'd like to listen for a heartbeat at the first visit. Between that and my m/c at almost 6 weeks in March, I pushed my yearly exam until September. Hoping this one sticks and I can surprise her at my check-up with the news!

I took my dh to all of my appointments with our first, starting with the 7 week u/s to confirm dates. He suspected that I was pregnant before I did (tender breasts - who knew he'd be right? First pregnancy, I was still naive at that point!) and wanted to attend all of the appointments.

We'll do the same this time. I suspect that by my appointment, when I'm nine weeks, he'll be upset if I come home having heard the heartbeat without him!
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