anyone used/plan on using a doula? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 9 Old 08-09-2006, 01:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
peacechief's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 311
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been thinking I'd like to look into working with a doula, especially since *so far* my experinces with the midwife practice I'm using haven't been what I'd hoped in terms of communication and feeling comfortable asking questions etc. But I have 0 experience and very little knowledge about doulas. Some basic questions I have are:

1. Did you have a good experience - would you recommend it?
2. How do you go about finding one?
3. I've heard of pregnancy doulas and birth doulas - are there any that stay with you throughout the whole journey?
4. What can you expect from a good doula?
5. What authority (if any) do they have during delivery? (One of my thoughts is that I really want a professional with me who knows our birth plan and what we want and if, for instance, a c-sect. is recommended, or some other intervention, can tell me if it is *really* necessary, or if it is more of a convenience thing, you know?)

TIA
peacechief is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 9 Old 08-09-2006, 01:42 PM
 
didkisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,200
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I won't need a prenatal/delivery doula because the midwife practice I'm going to requires a birth assistant, which is pretty much a doula plus. I WILL, however, get a post-partum doula! I would go nuts without the help because I know no one in my family will be willing--DH included (he's just not very nurturing and couldn't make a meal to save his life! He's also lousy at housework)

I look forward to reading people's responses, to get an idea what I should look for/expect from a post-partum doula.
didkisa is offline  
#3 of 9 Old 08-09-2006, 01:42 PM
 
juliaaaah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: san diego
Posts: 132
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hey annie, this is our first kid, so I've never used a doula before, obviously, but my closest friends have. One of those friends is now a doula. I'm sort of considering using her, but then it would feel weird if one girl from our group was in the birth with me but the others weren't, you know?

Everyone I know to use one has had a great experience. I will most likely use one. I'm going to try to find one that I feel will be good at empowering husbands. I don't want him to feel subconsciously shafted or inferior, and that's why I had to bring in this third party support person*. but when it comes down to it, women in general are very village-oriented. especially me. the woman-to-woman bond is really unique, especially when it comes to our bodies and birthing babies!

i'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this.

______________
*i don't think this would be an issue for my, H, but i've heard of husbands feeling uncomfortable or not knowing what their role is.
juliaaaah is offline  
#4 of 9 Old 08-09-2006, 03:05 PM
 
MoMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Missouri
Posts: 662
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't have one last time, but am hoping to get one this time. :
MoMommy is offline  
#5 of 9 Old 08-09-2006, 03:14 PM
 
MamaRabbit's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: FL transplanted in Asia
Posts: 4,809
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I am a doula! Just popping in because I saw the topic!

1. Did you have a good experience - would you recommend it? I haven't had one but so wished I'd had one with my first birth. Look up statistics for births with doulas and they're way better.

2. How do you go about finding one? There are many many sites that have them listed. Personally, I'd go by word of mouth first. Don't go just by if certified or not or by the more popular certification agencies. A certificate says nothing about the person's actually ability to give good support.

3. I've heard of pregnancy doulas and birth doulas - are there any that stay with you throughout the whole journey? You can hire one early on and be willing to pay for more prenatal appointments. I'm doing the pregnancy doula thing with one client because she's highrisk and needs the extra support.

4. What can you expect from a good doula? Evidence-based information. A good listener. Prompt to meetings. Doesn't have an agenda on how birth should be.

5. What authority (if any) do they have during delivery? (One of my thoughts is that I really want a professional with me who knows our birth plan and what we want and if, for instance, a c-sect. is recommended, or some other intervention, can tell me if it is *really* necessary, or if it is more of a convenience thing, you know?) No authority. They have the information for you if you ask. They can "remind" the staff of your birthplan. Or for Ex./I see doctor picking up scissors to do an episiotomy. I say, "Mary, the doctor is going to cut an episiotomy. Would you tell him about your wishes?" She has to advocate for herself. Am I making sense for you here?

I am all for more support at labors... homebirth even!

Missionary, birth-worker, midwifery student
Mama to love.gif DD (9yr), DS luxlove.gif (3yr), & 2twins.gif UC twin DDs (5yr)

MamaRabbit is offline  
#6 of 9 Old 08-11-2006, 03:06 PM
 
annettemarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the Restricted Section
Posts: 34,451
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by peacechief
1. Did you have a good experience - would you recommend it?
2. How do you go about finding one?
3. I've heard of pregnancy doulas and birth doulas - are there any that stay with you throughout the whole journey?
4. What can you expect from a good doula?
5. What authority (if any) do they have during delivery? (One of my thoughts is that I really want a professional with me who knows our birth plan and what we want and if, for instance, a c-sect. is recommended, or some other intervention, can tell me if it is *really* necessary, or if it is more of a convenience thing, you know?)

TIA
I used a doula for my last two births and I loved, loved, loved it. She's a LLL leader with five daughters of her own and a Bradley instructor, as well as a friend, so I knew and trusted her implicitly. We met a few times "officially" during my pregnancy, and she was there for the birth. My last birth, she came for a failed induction (don't ask) and then came up again, but was *just* in time, because she came from over an hour away.

A good doula listens without judgement. A good doula has a bag of "tricks" to help you through labor, but she doesn't force them on you. A good doula knows when to step in for your partner, and when to step aside and let your partner help you. A good doula trusts you and your body. This one is controversial, but I would not go to a doula who hadn't been through labor herself. That's just me, though.

A doula has no authority during labor. Frankly, a sign of a bad doula (IMO) is one who tries to usurp authority, be it yours, your partner's, or your birthing staff. A doula listens to you and makes sure your voice is heard, but she should never speak for you, if you know what I mean.

Good luck!

Flowers, fairies, gardens, and rainbows-- Seasons of Joy: 10 weeks of crafts, handwork, painting, coloring, circle time, fairy tales, and more!
Check out the blog for family fun, homeschooling, books, simple living, and 6 fabulous children, including twin toddlers

annettemarie is offline  
#7 of 9 Old 08-11-2006, 09:29 PM
 
CarolynnMarilynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,206
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I am using a doula. She is a good friend, and she does hypnotherapy for a living. If you knew her, you would know why I have to have her at my birth. Her voice is like soothing, restful honey, she is super calm, and she is a total earth mother. I asked her before we were even pregnant!
CarolynnMarilynn is offline  
#8 of 9 Old 08-11-2006, 11:01 PM
 
Anglyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 2,246
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I want to use a doula, but they tend to be expensive, so I dont know.

~Me, mama to soapbox boy (1991), photo girl (1997), gadget girl (2003), jungle boy (2005), fan boy (2003) and twirly girl (2011). Twenty years of tree hugging, breastfeeding, cosleeping, unschooling, craziness
Anglyn is offline  
#9 of 9 Old 08-11-2006, 11:38 PM
 
wirewendy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 523
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
1. Did you have a good experience - would you recommend it?

Yes, definitely. Our doula met us in our home a few times before the birth. She gave me books to read, and helped me write my birth plan. She helped us decide when it was time to go in, and met us at the hospital. She took care of us. She brought us food. She made sure that people were reading my birth plan. And yes, she brought a bag of tricks. She rubbed my back, and brought my DH beverages. She kept a minute-by-minute record of the entire labor and birth, which she later printed out and gave to me, and which I cherish. She took photographs. She helped me understand what the procedures were, and what my options were when I needed intervention. After the birth, she left us to ourselves. A few days later, she came to our home twice to see how we were doing, and how breast feeding was going. She charged $650 for all of it.


2. How do you go about finding one?
The best way is to get a recommendation. Contact your La Leche league. You can interview them to make sure that the vibe is right. Some yoga instructors are doulas.

3. I've heard of pregnancy doulas and birth doulas - are there any that stay with you throughout the whole journey?
This I am not sure about. Doulas I think are really more for the birth, but I am not sure. The cost would be a lot more if they were there for the entire journey. Some insurance pays for doulas simply because births end up costing less.


4. What can you expect from a good doula?
I think my doula was good. They should have a nurturing spirit. I wrote above what you can expect.

5. What authority (if any) do they have during delivery? (One of my thoughts is that I really want a professional with me who knows our birth plan and what we want and if, for instance, a c-sect. is recommended, or some other intervention, can tell me if it is *really* necessary, or if it is more of a convenience thing, you know?)

A doula is absolutely not involved in the delivery by law. A doula is a caretaker. A good doula will help you understand what the procedures are, but will not try to influence your decision. They do make sure that nurses and doctors read your birth plan.


My husband was hesitant at first to get a doula, because he thought that she would be doing his job. But when he saw her actual role, he was so glad that she was there, because he could then be a part of the birth.
wirewendy is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off