My first OB appointment tomorrow -- What to ask? - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-26-2006, 04:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Like it says, I have my first OB appointment tomorrow. It has been 7 years since DS was born, so it's been a while since I have gone through this! Also, I am older and much, much wiser, so I have loads of questions for the OB. Well, statements more than questions.

We don't vaccinate (DS was initially), don't circ, won't be having the eye goop, will room in, will BF, want Vit K orally only, stuff like that. Should I bring this all up now, you think? I mean, if she's not on board, that's fine. She doesn't have to agree with everything; I just don't want to get a lecture or a hard time about it. If she does give me a hard time, I will find another doc, but should I start out now with all this or wait?

Whaddaya think?
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Old 09-26-2006, 04:51 PM
 
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I think honesty is the best policy. Most OB's that I have been around don't even ask about vax. But the eye goop, room in, your desires for pregnancy care and birth should be discussed. If the doc is not on with your desires now is the time to find out
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Old 09-26-2006, 05:28 PM
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Because I m/c'd this summer, as soon as I was pregnant again I went straight to the OB (who I had only seen to be sure my uterus had cleared out) and then it was all very-- we'll wait and see if this one makes it (by all of us, not just him). It seemed like he wanted to wait to discuss birth philosophy until I was out of the woods as it were. So I had this great list of questions/statements and I haven't even gotten to it yet! I decided I could always switch down the line and still have months left to get used to a new doc. But next appt I'll be past 12 wks and we've seen the heartbeat, so the list is coming out that time! I already know a lot about him though and I have a pretty good hunch he's one of the good guys out there

as for my list... it's things like intermittent EFM, moving while laboring, mom-directed pushing, delaying eye goop, delaying cord cutting, eating while laboring (gonna just break this rule if it's hospital policy!)... er, WHY would you induce or c/section (basically saying I don't want either), going natural/no IV, etc. C-section rate... epistomoty (sp?) rate, if they massage the perenium while crowning, etc...
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Old 09-26-2006, 05:35 PM
 
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I plan to bring it all up on the first visit. In fact, I already gave the birthing center a copy of my prenatal care/birth plan requests (though it has already changed) when I went for the tour. I'm expecting the midwives I am seeing to be more laid back about my requests than an OB/GYN - but you never know. Before we do anything at all on my first visit tomorrow, I am going to ask them to take some time and discuss my wishes and philosophies. I want to feel comfortable from the get-go and not worry about having to "fight" for this or that along the way.

If a caregiver doesn't want to do that, then I'm convinced that I need to find a different caregiver. I actually had a very good conversation with an OB/GYN that was very receptive to all of my wishes. She told me I could do whatever I wanted and if she thought I was doing something that was 'a bad idea' that she would make her opinion known, but that ultimately, the choice was mine. I would have considered using her, but I didn't care for the hospital she delivers at.

Me (37) ~ DH (39) ~ DS (3) ~ TTC #2 since 4/10
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Old 09-26-2006, 06:12 PM
 
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On the first visit I think it is nice to not completely bombard them with questions. I think it is good to get to know them as well, so that when you do ask them about your wishes you know that they are just not trying to placate you. For us I discussed the big issues on the first visit, my non- compromises.

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
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Old 09-26-2006, 06:36 PM
 
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Actually, almost all of the things on your list are stuff that the OB has absolutely no control over.

OBs have almost nothing to do with the care of the baby once it is born. The labor & delivery nurse (in an uncomplicated birth) or pediatric staff would be responsible for eye ointment, vaxes, vit. k, rooming in, supporting breastfeeding, etc.

If your OB has privileges at a number of hospitals, then she might be able to recommend one hospital over another for low-interventive pediatric care, but otherwise she probably won't be able to help you.

One of the frustrating things about hospital care is that the way the system is set up you have almost no chance of meeting beforehand/choosing the people who will be responsible for the care of your baby in the immediate postpartum. Only in a freestanding birth center or a homebirth do you have that option.

Stacia -- intrepid mama, midwife, and doula. Changing the world one 'zine at a time.
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Old 09-26-2006, 11:24 PM
 
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I agree with crunchy mom and Defenestrator... that you might want to wait on the list of do's and don'ts until a relationship is more established (so that you're not just getting the "yes, that's fine" pat answer and also so you don't put them on the defensive right off the bat). And also that most of your list is ped-related stuff and not OB-related. If you have questions about delayed cord clamping, attitude towards pain management, being able to push in any position, declining GTT or group B strep, how far they'll let you go past your due date... those kind of things are much more in the OB's realm of care. Still not saying that you should bring them up immediately, but they would be more appropriate questions for the OB.

Personally I like to let the OB set the tone of the first visit, just to get a feel for how they run things. You'll get a pretty good impression of their bedside manner and how they listen to you if you're not trying to run the show from the moment they walk in, KWIM? Not saying you were going to do that .
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Old 09-26-2006, 11:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the responses, Everyone. I'll be nice and get to know her first.

I guess I really don't have any OB questions then since I've done this all before!
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Old 09-27-2006, 03:35 AM
 
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I scheduled appointments/tours with different docs/midwives for the sole purpose of finding out who best matched my philosophies since I had never really found a good doc I was comfortable with. I could cover all my big questions and many of the little ones in about 30-45 mins. My conversations were held in a non-rushed free flowing format - sort of a get-to-know you session. I didn't bring up every little thing, but I tried to get a good feel for 1) How 'natural' birth oriented they were and 2) How receptive they were to letting me make decisions without undue pressure.

I think it all depends on what your goals are and how quickly you want to feel comfortable. This approach worked well for me and I ruled out a couple caregivers right off the bat that I think I would have been really unhappy with if I'd given it time.

Me (37) ~ DH (39) ~ DS (3) ~ TTC #2 since 4/10
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Old 09-27-2006, 06:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I had my appointment today and it really went well. She did not judge any of my wants or needs, she took a long time with me, and we talked a lot. I will be seeing everyone in the practice, anyway, so I'm not too concerned now. They have all my wishes in my file, and when the time gets closer, I will reiterate those wishes in my birth plan.

And it turns out that they have a Reiki practitioner and a naturopath (who I used to go to!) affiliated with their practice, so yay for that!

Thank for all the responses!
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