most ridiculous chixpox vax story EVER! - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-31-2007, 12:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Looking for support and to vent...
I selectively vax and have a ped who helps me skip certain vaxes but still call them a complete set... Unf. my 7yrold had the varicella to get into kindergarten, but hooray! 3yrold just came down with it. 1yrold appears to be next.

You would think the kid had small pox. Maybe even bird flu. I am getting grief from all sides. Except my mom, sis, MIL and ped, I have only talked to two other people who were in support of delaying that particular vax. I've been on the phone or email daily since Friday with the gal we carpool to school with. Her older daughter (vaccinated) was in the car maybe twice with my son (and a whole row away, out of droplet range). She said at first that her ped recommended she not ride with us for two weeks. She is just floored that I haven't vaccinated. She canceled four playdates this week just in case her oldest has passed something on to her youngest (also vaxxed and not at all exposed to my son) even though i sent her links showing the near statistical impossibility of that. And the kicker? Drum roll please..... :

As of tonight, I have been summarily dismissed from carpool status forever. She told my husband and I (by phone, speaking of CHICKEN...) that it might be fine for our family but it's not acceptable to hers. That it is a safety issue and she has been losing sleep at night thinking about it. She said everything has been fine up until now but this just isn't ok to her, not vaccinating your children. (As if someone who doesn't vax also runs red lights too?) She feels badly but she hopes she'll see us around and no hard feelings. (She lives next door to my mom, she will definitely see us around.)

I have been working VERY hard at the whole different families make different choices concept. I've been explaining that to my children a lot lately too. But this one is really taking the cake for me. I understand she has to do what she feels is right. I understand my choice is not her choice. But couldn't we just let the chicken pox pass and pick up where we left off?

Thank you for letting me get this out. And for any supportive links, info, stories. I'm aware of the basics (varicella being the least effective vax, etc.) but have been so busy with Mr. Itchy (not what you'd call a stoic) and his crazy lil' bro (whose craziness has nothing to do with chicken pox -- yet --and everything to do with being one) that I haven't had a moment to research.

God Bless Mothering... I might be a pariah in my community, but there's always some great support here!
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Old 01-31-2007, 01:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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never mind resources. she doesn't want to hear it. i called to talk to her today and she hung up on me. it's gone beyond the vax thing i suppose. anyhow, i still appreciate the room to rant!
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Old 01-31-2007, 01:29 PM
 
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When people say that my children arent safe to be around theres because I do not vax, I say, whats the prob? Afraid that your child will get something? Thought they were vaxed? Oh they were, then whats the real prob???????
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Old 01-31-2007, 01:43 PM
 
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yeah - great. also tell her that since cp vax is a live vaccine - maybe one of her vaxed kids gave it to yours. stinks to feel alone doesn't it? but in the end you are better off without her. so sorry this happened to you.
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Old 01-31-2007, 11:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks so much for the support. it goes to reason, your kids are vaxxed, why the fear... she doesn't see it that way.

so i spent all day today trying to just let go and it worked well. there is no reason to put energy toward something negative. move on, be an adult, stick to your standards and understand that different is going to cause eyebrows if not dirty looks and thoughts. HOWEVER...

when ds1 (age 7) got in the car after school (yea, i had to drive, even though it wasn't technically my day, but that was then, this is now and such is life he told me he was called to the clinic today and made to pull his shirt up to be checked for pox. he wanted to know why and why did I call the school to have them do that? i asked him who has told at school and he said "No one." now my blood is boiling all over again. hubby is wondering if she'll call DFACs next. i'm more upset that the school didn't call me. and of course that she saw fit to get the school involved at all.

it's all a bit much. but on the upside? the hits just keep on coming. and this will make one HECK of an essay. brain, child or newsweek "my turn" here i come!
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Old 02-02-2007, 01:35 PM
 
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Geez, she doesn't have much faith in those all-important vaccines, does she?!

Quote:
her ped recommended she not ride with us for two weeks.
And apparently, her ped has little faith in them as well.

If I were you, I'd call the school and read them the riot act for not calling you for confirmation BEFORE hauling your kid in to check for pox.

Every baptized Christian is, or should be, someone with an actual (disturbing) experience, ... a close encounter, with God; someone who, as a result, becomes a disturbing presence to others. - Fr. Anthony J. Gittins, A Presence That Disturbs
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Old 02-02-2007, 03:13 PM
 
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If I were you, I'd call the school and read them the riot act for not calling you for confirmation BEFORE hauling your kid in to check for pox.
:
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Old 02-03-2007, 07:12 AM
 
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I'm another one that would be raising HELL with the school principal. Who the hell do they think they are by taking your child and physically examining him like that without your consent?

Then, the next time I ran into this woman, I'd ask her why, if she believes in the power of vaccines so strongly that she can no longer have anything to do with you, then why is she so afraid to have her children around someone who has been vaccinated and DOES NOT have chickenpox? Actually, that's not what I'd say. What I really would say I cannot type here, but it would be in reference to her minding her own damned business. She's on some sort of power trip and children's emotions are involved here. I'd be furious if she made a spectacle out of my child like this.
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Old 02-03-2007, 04:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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mommy2baby --
i run the gamet from furious to really hurt (i'm kinda sensitive, a people-pleaser) it's a bit like grief.

but the truth is, i found out she made such a freak of herself calling the school and then calling her daughter's teacher that all i really need to do is sit back and let her unravel and i should come out smelling just fine here.

but it has been a very unsettling week.

and the school is not ok by me. i've met with my son's teacher and the vice prinicpal and do not feel my concerns have been heard. you will not believe this when you read it -- my son goes to a catholic school. with all of the molestation issues on the hot burner, you would think the LAST thing anyone at a catholic school would do would be to have a child lift their shirt.

it chaps the hide and it rings a bell of change for me.

the saga will continue 'round here i'm sure!

thank you all for hearing me!!!!!
i
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Old 02-04-2007, 07:46 AM
 
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but the truth is, i found out she made such a freak of herself calling the school and then calling her daughter's teacher that all i really need to do is sit back and let her unravel and i should come out smelling just fine here.
Niiiiice!

I'd love for you to keep us updated.
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Old 02-04-2007, 08:22 AM
 
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:

i've said it before and will again i really don't understand why cp panicks people so much they HAVE TO get the child vaccinated against, what shock, horror there dc might have to spend a few days off school : it's not the plague, its spots and maybe a fever, my lo's were still causing havoc running round the room etc when they had cp the only thing that bothered them was the calamine lotion.

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Old 02-04-2007, 02:55 PM
 
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I have one that just finished the Pox, one just starting and hopefully two more to start soon. They were thrilled to miss school and hang around watching tv and playing computer games but other than the spots you would never guess they were "sick".

We accidently exposed at least 60+ kids and some parents were quite happy when they found out. Maybe we facilitated an "outbreak" LOL.

BTW that woman is NUTS your better off without her in your life.
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Old 02-11-2007, 07:57 PM
 
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my son goes to a catholic school. with all of the molestation issues on the hot burner, you would think the LAST thing anyone at a catholic school would do would be to have a child lift their shirt.
I hope you said that to them! I think my head would explode if my child were so examined at school without my knowledge. The only exception I'd make to that would be lice.
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Old 02-11-2007, 08:04 PM
 
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I don't understand why people flip out over the Chickenpox. I got it in 4th grade, at the time my whole class got it. We were all THRILLED to have it. Yeah, it was itchy but we got to stay out of school for a while. Since when is it some life threatening disease?

Geesh, it's not like the chickenpox is going to suddenly cause everyone to drop dead. I just don't understand some people. The sad thing is she thinks you're the dumb one for not vaxing, yet she probably has no clue about what's in the vax's.

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Old 02-13-2007, 04:57 PM
 
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Now see, I'm on the other side of things. I don't understand why so many people seem to assume that *death* is the only bad thing that can happen as the result of a VPD. I had chicken pox and I do not remember feeling THRILLED. I remember feeling sick and itchy. I don't know how my mom managed to save my skin.

Some photos of chickenpox and subsequent complications... in the interest of full disclosure.
http://www.vaccineinformation.org/varicel/photos.asp
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Old 02-13-2007, 07:03 PM
 
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Some photos of chickenpox and subsequent complications... in the interest of full disclosure.
http://www.vaccineinformation.org/varicel/photos.asp

The infamous worst case scenario pictures. Those pictures are not at all representative of what usually happens when a person gets chickenpox. Could a person develop necrotizing fasciitis as a complication from infected cp lesions? Sure. It could also happen from an infected bug bite or paper cut, but I don't freak out in these southern summers when DD usually has 12 to 15 bug bites at a time and scratches them lustily.
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Old 02-15-2007, 01:45 AM
 
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Those images are scary, but I don't know anyone who ever had it that bad. My mother (to my great embarrassment) tells everyone about when I had cp, I had it between my toes and on my eyelids and on my genitals. I'm sure it was awful. But I am here just fine, don't even remember it (I was 4) and b/c I had it bad once I don't have to worry about getting it again. I know lots of folks who got mild cases and then got it again later, much worse that time.

My little bro. had it as a baby and was in the hospital for 2 days, but again, was fine and is now a strapping young man.

As for that other woman, does she not understand how vaccines work? They should feel just a-ok with their kids being around your kids since they're protected! And for her to judge your parenting choices, ugh. The mommy wars continue...
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Old 02-15-2007, 01:49 PM
 
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Speaking of worst case scenario pictures...
Those who advocated CP vaxing should be aware of that practice causing a lot more of this.
(warning...graphic photos)
http://www.skinsite.com/info_herpes_zoster.htm
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Old 02-16-2007, 04:21 PM
 
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yeah - great. also tell her that since cp vax is a live vaccine - maybe one of her vaxed kids gave it to yours. stinks to feel alone doesn't it? but in the end you are better off without her. so sorry this happened to you.
:

Uh, why is SHE scared for her kids if she believes the vax is safe and effective? They should be impervious to your infectious children, if they have been vaxed!
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Old 02-16-2007, 11:02 PM
 
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Some photos of chickenpox and subsequent complications... in the interest of full disclosure.
http://www.vaccineinformation.org/varicel/photos.asp
My mom had it like this when she was little. In her eyes and her vagina. She is very much anti-CP vax.
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Old 03-01-2007, 08:19 PM
 
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Hello all,

I've only posted a few times here, but this thread got my attention because my 3 yr ds and 8 mo dd were exposed a couple of weeks ago. Varicella is the only vaccination ds didn't get, and dd hasn't had any, and my immediate reaction when I found out that they'd been exposed was panic. I've since calmed down, and I even hope that they do get it, but I have some sympathy for your carpool mom.

Our ped is the most non-vax friendly around, and he has posters all over his office of worst-case chicken pox pictures. Last time we were there he told me that the reason the peds around here are so vax crazy is that a girl died of chicken pox recently in our area (and her parents sued the hospital because the ped didn't offer varicella at every visit.) The information parents get about vaccines and childhood illnesses is terrifying very much one sided.

Not saying that the carpool mom handled it well (she probably doesn't handle a lot of things well) but in fairness, I'm sure she was truly afraid. I'm scared of the vax issue. Wish I knew with certainty what the best thing to do is. Why can't we trust the AAP? The CDC? It's scary going against the grain on such a serious thing, and the fault does not lie with parents.
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Old 03-01-2007, 08:51 PM
 
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Not saying that the carpool mom handled it well (she probably doesn't handle a lot of things well) but in fairness, I'm sure she was truly afraid. I'm scared of the vax issue. Wish I knew with certainty what the best thing to do is. Why can't we trust the AAP? The CDC? It's scary going against the grain on such a serious thing, and the fault does not lie with parents.

Very well said IMO. It's important to treat each other with compassion, even if others start picking a fight first. It also doesn't endear anyone to accept another point of view if the conversation is hostile.

FWIW I had chickenpox at 13 and had serious, unusual scarring. Not pockmarks but almost keloids. Fortunately there are only a few on my face and they are small, but others are on my torso and though few and small, they are strange, even uncomfortable. Frankly I'd risk shingles to have avoided that. Even people who weren't vaccinated and who had chickenpox can get shingles later in life. Herpes kind of does what it likes once it's in you.

That said, I know this thread was originally a rant about an obnoxious carpool partner, so I apologize!
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Old 03-01-2007, 09:32 PM
 
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Last time we were there he told me that the reason the peds around here are so vax crazy is that a girl died of chicken pox recently in our area (and her parents sued the hospital because the ped didn't offer varicella at every visit.)
Most peds everywhere are "vax crazy" -- they don't need a potential lawsuit looming over their heads in order be encouraged to agressively push vaccines.

If a parent refuses a vaccine, all the ped has to do is document the refusal in the child's file with the parent's signature and/or have the parent sign a refusal to vaccinate form.

His reasoning is a bunch of BS and sounds more like one of the many subtle scare tactics peds are very well known to use.
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Old 03-04-2007, 06:27 PM
 
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Wow, seeing the adult woman with varicella pneumonia makes me glad I am immune, & more determined to get it over with with all my kids before that sort of thing can happen. My respiratory system is weak, & I wouln't be at all confident in my immunity if all I'd had was a couple of ineffective vaccines.
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Old 03-05-2007, 04:48 PM
 
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Wow, seeing the adult woman with varicella pneumonia makes me glad I am immune, & more determined to get it over with with all my kids before that sort of thing can happen. My respiratory system is weak, & I wouln't be at all confident in my immunity if all I'd had was a couple of ineffective vaccines.
I'm an RN and one of my patients died of chicken pox right in front of me. He was a 60 year old man. Indeed, CP isn't always as innocent and simple an illness as some people are led to believe.

Having said that, I have zero confidence in the CP vax and will not be giving it to my children. I know someone who got the CP after getting the vax a few years earlier, and I don't know many children at all. No thanks! Isn't the point of vaccinating to outweigh the risk with some benefit? This vax looks to me like all the risk with very little benefit, if any!

I'm also not about to give a vaccine to my children (or take it myself for that matter) that was cultured in aborted fetal cell tissue, as this one was. The mere thought of this sickens me.

But also having said that, this picture makes me sad: http://www.vaccineinformation.org/photos/variaap014.jpg
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Old 03-06-2007, 01:29 AM
 
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Yeah, I know it can be rough- the excema scares me a bit, since molluscum & scarlet fever were so much harder on ds1 than the rest of us (he still has molluscum scars), but 6 is better than 36, & I don't have any reason to believe anything as pernicious as herpes is going the way of smallpox.
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Old 03-06-2007, 05:34 PM
 
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I'm an RN and one of my patients died of chicken pox right in front of me. He was a 60 year old man. Indeed, CP isn't always as innocent and simple an illness as some people are led to believe.


But also having said that, this picture makes me sad: http://www.vaccineinformation.org/photos/variaap014.jpg
I can see what you're saying, but, isn't the whole point of not vaxing your kids, and having them exposed, because it IS more deadly in adults, and we WANT them to have it and gain immunity when they are younger and it's much less likely to cause deadly complications? That was my understanding.
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Old 03-06-2007, 05:55 PM
 
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I couldn't read this without responding to the OP ~ I think your situation with your carpool mom is INSANE. Holy crap! I guess the scaremongering really does work. I mean, we are talking about chicken pox, for goodness sake.

I am really sorry that you are going through this. I wish people would read up on things for themselves before jumping to worst case scenario. Yikes.

peace~Sarah

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Old 03-12-2007, 03:35 AM
 
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I personally got CP from a kid at the doctors office after he had his vax. I think kids who are vax'd actually put us at more risk of getting CP than the other way around.

I also would be going off at the school for physically checking my child without me being there or having my permission to do so. Especially since this other mother was spreading rumors. She obviously did not ask if your eldest son was vax'd nor did she care to know...she assumed. Besides that you mentioned that he was fully vax'd to get into kindergarten, therefore, the school had this information and should have taken the info and wrote her off once they checked his records.

As far as worrying about her, I wouldn't, this is the type of person you wouldn't want in your life anyway. You need to surround yourself with as many like minded people as possible. Your family you cannot choose, but friends and acquaintances you can!

Just keep doing what your doing, it is right for your family!

Carey
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