I just wanted to say something... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 08-30-2006, 06:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just wanted to bring something up before we get all acquainted : Please do not think I am too forward of doing so. :
I ran across a thread here on MDC about a mom not feeling a part of her DDC because of her very non-mainstream choices.
I feel very bad for this mom, but also for her DDC. I really want all of us to be close and to enjoy one anothers company and to feel secure in our gritching, (cross between grumpy and bitchy) birth choices, and just with each other as a whole.
If that means you feel an epiduraled delivery is right for you or an UC complete with placenta stew afterwards, so be it.
Let's create a little safe haven for ourselves on the web, shall we?



Katie
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#2 of 19 Old 08-30-2006, 12:43 PM
 
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You bet, I agree. Everyone needs to make the right choices for them and thier babies and families and that choice is not going to be the same for everyone! We all just want one thing when all this is over, a healthy baby!

p.s. what does UC stand for?

Mom to Kayleigh (05/07) Jacob (05/09) and Ned decluttering 615/2010
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#3 of 19 Old 08-30-2006, 01:01 PM
 
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I agree.
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#4 of 19 Old 08-30-2006, 01:36 PM
 
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Sorry to barge in, not in your DDC, but was excited that I could answer a question

UC = Unassisted Childbirth delivering and catching your very own baby

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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#5 of 19 Old 08-30-2006, 02:45 PM
 
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Respect and support . . .comfort, companionship during the difficult times . . . .yep, that's what I visit here for, and what we should all give to one another. Thanks, Darsmama for reminding us!
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#6 of 19 Old 08-31-2006, 08:54 AM
 
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Darsmama: great idea, i am joining!

Liv, SAHM of 3 kiddos 

 

 

 

 

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#7 of 19 Old 08-31-2006, 09:34 AM
 
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Total agreement from me.
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#8 of 19 Old 08-31-2006, 01:40 PM
 
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I am actually shocked that a mama would go through that here. I am all for making this a supportive place no matter the personal choices we make.
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#9 of 19 Old 08-31-2006, 03:16 PM
 
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Surprising, isn't it? I know . . . .

Glad we all seem to agree on this . . . thanks for raising the issue, Darsmama.
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#10 of 19 Old 09-03-2006, 11:48 AM
 
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I'm all for it.

To my husband I am wife, to my kids I am mother, but for myself I am just me.
we're : with and : and
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#11 of 19 Old 09-03-2006, 12:41 PM
 
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Word.
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#12 of 19 Old 09-04-2006, 04:54 PM
 
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Agree!

Julie (34)
Mom to 3 boys + 3 girls = PERFECTION joy.gif
Collector of TOYS!
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#13 of 19 Old 09-04-2006, 05:38 PM
 
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Quote:
I really want all of us to be close and to enjoy one anothers company and to feel secure in our gritching, (cross between grumpy and bitchy) birth choices, and just with each other as a whole.
If that means you feel an epiduraled delivery is right for you or an UC complete with placenta stew afterwards, so be it.
Let's create a little safe haven for ourselves on the web, shall we?
in total agreement here.

~Sadie fly-by-nursing1.gifintactlact.gif  guitar.gif sewmachine.gif - mom to dd 9/15/01, ds 11/12/03 {ubac}, and ds 4/29/2011, wife to Mitchell.  pos.gif coming soon in late June!
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#14 of 19 Old 09-05-2006, 08:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darsmama
If that means you feel an epiduraled delivery is right for you or an UC complete with placenta stew afterwards, so be it.
Let's create a little safe haven for ourselves on the web, shall we?



Katie
Sounds splendid.
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#15 of 19 Old 09-05-2006, 10:24 PM
 
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That is how my last ddc was, we even have our own website for us to be able to talk the way we did in the ddc. So put me in with the I am all for the family environment crowd.

Goldie, Mom to 5 my kiddos and forever loving on my fantabulous dh John.
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#16 of 19 Old 09-05-2006, 11:28 PM
 
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I wouldn't have it any other way!
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#17 of 19 Old 09-08-2006, 12:41 AM
 
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OK, I'm going to be the terrible one and spoil this party. :

Yes I think it will be great to have a warm group in which we all try to support each other. And absolutely we should all be respectful of each other.
However, if someone says that they are going to choose to formula feed simply for "convenience" or social reasons (not a medical problem/necessity/true inability to BF) I can't imagine just saying "whatever works for you" and not presenting evidence in favor of breastfeeding (at least trying) Or if someone says they are not going to use a car seat (assuming they do drive & have a car) then I think it is pretty much our responsibility to point out the reasons why this is an irresponsible choice. On the other side of the spectrum, I am planning to munch on some placenta (raw, no stew ) but if someone had actual evidence/statistics showing that this was dangerous, I would want them brought to my attention.

I understand that different women can be intelligent and do research and come to different conclusions based on their personal circumstances. While I am strongly against a hospital birth for myself , I can imagine situations in which I would totally support another mama's decision to have one.
But if there is good evidence that a choice is dangerous than that needs to come to light. I do think it is possible to share information and contrary viewpoints without beating each other up. There are options in between being cruelly judgmental and accepting all things as "personal choice."
I hope you can understand what I am getting at. I am totally on board with not attacking one another. But, that doesn't mean that I'll always be able to go along with everyone's choices if I think there is persuasive evidence against them.
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#18 of 19 Old 09-08-2006, 01:00 AM
 
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I think she was just making the point that some ddc's don't always bond well, and that she would like to see this one be close and supportive. Obviously with this many different people, there are going to be those things that we don't agree with. Just human nature and all that jazz. I think that as long as no one is outright cruel, differing opinions can be tolerated. I am so looking forward to building a new online support system during this pg. How awesome is it to be able to gripe to other who know what you are going though? Anyway.... enough from me. Can we tell I am a Libra? LOL

Goldie, Mom to 5 my kiddos and forever loving on my fantabulous dh John.
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#19 of 19 Old 09-08-2006, 05:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stanleymama
I am actually shocked that a mama would go through that here. I am all for making this a supportive place no matter the personal choices we make.
I regularly don't discuss some of my parenting decisions on this board because I know that I will be flamed for them.


Also, re: Rico'sAlice - I completely understand with what you are saying, and to an extent I agree with you. However, I wonder sometimes what incites people here on mothering to tell other people how to parent their children. I agree 100% with giving another mother information on breastfeeding/cosleeping/etc if she asks for it and is interested in it. I can't understand why a mother can't come here asking for the best advice from wise mothers she respects on formula feeding her baby without being flamed for pages for formula feeding.

I'll just be really up front with all of you right now. My son is 10 months old and has been exclusively formula fed since he was 6 months old. He starts the evening in his crib and is generally brought into bed if he wakes up and doesn't want to be put back down. He also takes his naps in the crib. I believe in explaining to him about areas that are off limits - ie, the toilet, cat litter box, etc, and saying "No" as well as redirecting his attention.

I don't consider myself to be mainstream, but I did deliver my son in a hospital and intend to again. After 24 hours of labor I asked for a small dose of a pain killer, and if I am in that scenario again, I would not berate myself for asking for help again.

I think you and I agree that if a mother is doing something illegal, blatantly dangerous or violent/aggressive, we would both inform her of that - ie, your newborn baby needs to ride in a car seat and you shouldn't spank her when she cries. However, I find so many people here creating a life or death situation over something that isn't truly that. I agree 100% that breastfeeding is the best choice, provides the perfect nutrition for my baby, and I fully intend to breastfeed this baby as well. However, I don't think my baby is going to end up severly disabled if I do not, nor do I think he/she will immediately die from SIDS, etc.

I'll try to step daintily off my soap box now... my point is just that ... well, you all got it I hope.

Anyone else going through anger/temper stuff now that they're pregnant? I am.
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