Well, I've been MIA for awhile, and trying to catch up on what's going on with you ladies! I finally got ethics approval for my thesis project, so I've been spending alot of time lining up interviews.
dd has been very difficult lately. She cries and refuses to go to bed. I have taken her to the doc, tests, and there is nothing physically wrong with her, so...I don't know.
I am incredibly tired, and emotional all the time. I think exhaustion is to blame for the most part, but this pregnancy has been very difficult.
|Basically I'm still trying to come to terms with an abortion I had 9 years ago, which was largely against my will, yet I was too young and uninformed to know that I'd be fine even though my then fiancee was threatening to leave me if I decided to have the baby. I ended up breaking up with him 2 months after the procedure anyway. It's been such a huge gaping wound for so long. I am really trying to forgive myself for that decision. But it's been the hardest thing in the world. I'm coming up on the 9 year anninversary and the wound is still so raw. I know in the long run that it was a good decision because I would not be where I am today...but still.
I went through a similar experience when I was very young also. It has been almost 15 years now, and sometimes I still need to cry over it. I had NO support, and basically went through the motions to please everyone else. It was the worst experience of my life, but I have forgiven myself. I have always felt that I didn't really have a 'choice' in that circumstance. I feel like I was bullied into doing something that I didn't 'want', and it has helped me to come to terms with it. I hope you can heal soon