last night's "practice labor" showed me how UNPREPARED I AM!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 03:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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last night i had hours of tight cramps, tightenings, and lots of BM's....like constant tight hard belly etc etc.

my reaction SUCKED. i just kept cleaning, yelling at DH, stressing about the dogs and cats etc etc. trying to ignore the cramps instead of -- well that's the thing -- i completely forgot what it was i was SUPPOSED to do when labor began.

i wasn't about to go into labor with the house a mess, dogs unwalked, dinner not made, etc etc.

i just tried to ignore everything and act normal which made the pain worse and worse. it SUCKED. i was scared but also angry.

i just feel so completely utterly unprepared and confused.

i just haven't pictured this thing all the way through i guess. i cant envision labor actually happening to ME in MY LIFE at MY HOUSE you know!?

help!!!!!!!

living in the with DH, DS (5-30-07) and DD (9-26-09) don't forget the dogs, cat, fish, toads and geckos.....
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#2 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 03:32 PM
 
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the only thing i can offer is....let go of the need to have everything in order. it's not gonna happen! how easy is that for me to say, though, right? i had my midwife home visit last week & purposefully cleaned the house. when we were "touring" the place, though, i realized it will probably be a disaster when the day actually comes. i warned her of this, as well!

thankfully you had a practice run! next time, take a warm bath with a glass of wine and a good magazine. talk to your "little dude" and enjoy the last moments of oneness you'll have together.

you'll do fine....just fine!

stephanie asl.gif

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#3 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 03:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks mama!!

the crazy thing is how can we tell the difference between "this is it" and "this is just practice".........

and i cant be drinkin and relaxin' every night for the next 2 weeks........

...........or CAN i?




still processing it all.......argh


deb

living in the with DH, DS (5-30-07) and DD (9-26-09) don't forget the dogs, cat, fish, toads and geckos.....
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#4 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 03:47 PM
 
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You will do A-OK! I always clean in early labor but it seems I have been in early labor for 3 wks now!!! Everything will work out and definently relax before the big day comes

Julie (34)
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#5 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 04:20 PM
 
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A messy house is what brings labor on.

With our last child we finally gave up going to bed with a clean house every night after 3 weeks.

Guess what Yep! Anyway it only took us an hour to get the house in shape, I laid down to rest a bit and no rest for me as I had the baby a few minutes later. :
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#6 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 04:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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so here is the plan: i will keep the house clean til the day i want to go into labor.

love it!

living in the with DH, DS (5-30-07) and DD (9-26-09) don't forget the dogs, cat, fish, toads and geckos.....
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#7 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 04:40 PM
 
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you have time to clean???
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#8 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 04:43 PM
 
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I think cleaning or prepping seems natural - with DD we ran to Target and the grocery, bathed the cat!, put together a shoe organizer and headed to bed for a few hours sleep. Just work on a better mood for the real thing! I remember being happy and excited.

DD 8 and DS 4 ribbonorange.gif

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#9 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 04:57 PM
 
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My first labor I felt the exact same way- like I had been so busy the whole pg thinking about my fantasy birth, and when I was actually in labor I was forced to forget all fantasy and just focus on HERE and NOW. It was a really tough mental transition to make.

It's also REALLY common to have a burst of energy in early labor and do more housework/organizing in early labor than the last month of pg and the first month after the birth combined! You're not "abnormal" for wanting to clean up in early labor, nor is it a sign of not being ready to have a baby!

And to answer your question, yes you CAN be drinking and relaxing every night for the next 4 weeks! Well, I'd limit it to half a glass of wine per day, or just drink and relax with something non-alcoholic, but you can't OD on relaxation!

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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#10 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 05:24 PM
 
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So, what do you think you "should" have done last night? What do you think you could have done to make it better?

Maybe cleaning. . .but more lackidazically(sp???) taking the time to give attention to what your body was doing?


The baby SOOOO isn't going to care if the house is spotless--that's all for you to be able to function with ease after the baby comes. How well do you delegate to dh and others?

Good thing you got a practice run. Maybe you'll get another so you can get more comfortable with the situation, then on the third round you can be more at ease. . .or something.

~laura
and planning to eat it again
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#11 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 05:57 PM
 
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I can so relate. I had a big goosh of fluid on Tuesday and as I was at the drs office I was in a complete panic I was going to have to give birth on Tuesday. Well first off my dad was having surgery the next day and I was his caregiver and second my house was a mess, no bags had been packed plus I have a million things to do as the baby is born on the 2nd, 4th is baptism, 5th is my youngest boy (so sad saying that) First Communion then we are going to see my mom and spend the night. I want everything packed and ironed ect so I am not trying to do it after a c-section.

Heidi
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#12 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 05:58 PM
 
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maybe you can make a honey do list. All the things that you want to make sure are done before hard labor begins. If your hubby has it written down and posted up, maybe you won't feel like you need to be on his back. You can jump in the tub with the glass of wine and he can vaccum and walk the dogs.

Mom of 3.
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#13 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 06:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SamGroom View Post
maybe you can make a honey do list. All the things that you want to make sure are done before hard labor begins. If your hubby has it written down and posted up, maybe you won't feel like you need to be on his back. You can jump in the tub with the glass of wine and he can vaccum and walk the dogs.
Good Idea-- :

~laura
and planning to eat it again
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#14 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 06:49 PM
 
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Oh dear... just sending you lots of hugs!

I've had several rounds of practice labor and I always start cleaning- the other day dh had to ask why I was sweeping the porch again while the winds were bringing down more leaves and pollen hey, I just figure it keeps me in a zen place (or at least busy), and I am well aware at this point that it's all part of my rhythm... I just crank up some music and clean or head outside and putz around. I actually have it set up w/ dh that when I go into real labor, unless I change my mind, if he doesn't have anything to do, sweep up or something.. :

Also, I find for me the best thing I can do when the emotions are flowing is to state exactly what's up for me. I can do this w/o hurting others by simply filling in the blank- I FEEL __________ ! SO last night, for example, when it was 4 in the morning and I couldn't sleep and I was having contractions yet again and I was weeping my poor heart out, my dh was peacefully sleeping, and my resentment was building (like "how dare he sleep peacefully right now!! : )... well he finally woke to check on me and I just called out "I feel so angry and upset that I can't sleep!" Well, that and a bagel later, I was able to calm down, and I was grateful I didn't cause any damage I'd have to clean up later by yelling at him. So dunno if this helps, but it has been working for me at those times of ... uh... hormone-enhanced emotionality

I think there's just nothing like a good cry, a hearty yell, or a belly laugh to loosen up the body-mind, kwim?

Grace Comes.

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#15 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 07:27 PM
 
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When I realized I was in labor with DS2--I first started doing laundry--and then took a nice long shower, made sure my bags were packed and then we went to the hospital. DH cleaned the house for me so it was so nice when we came home. I think you should get your bags packed now but just try to relax about the rest (although I know how it feels!!!)
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#16 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 08:25 PM
 
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I think that urge to clean is part of the hormones kicking in.My last pregnancy I was hauling around a carpet cleaner washing the carpets and sweeping down my courrtyard,carport and seriously thinking about giving the neighbor's a good sweeping too, all while having my usual prelabor contractions.I wouold just stop feel the contraction and then go right back to cleaning I have Monica tendencies anyway and pregnancy just kicks it into high gear.I have asked my DH to gently stop me when he thinks it might be getting out of hand.
This time we have white tile floors throughout the house and red dirt outside that the kids track in.I am having no luck keeping it clean but like I told DH at least I know this dirt and my body does too and the baby won't see it.

This also got me to thinking about how after I had my 2nd baby by an unplanned induction I kept saying in the hospital to my MIL that I never got a chance to scrub my floors.I was going to do that right before everyone got there since I knew that would have put into labor on my own.When we got home she had done it for me.Having someone else do it is hard but it was the sweetest gift ever.

joy.gifme, herding 5 critters a cat and a dog. DS 11/01, DS 10/04, DD 2/06, DS 5/07 and DD 9/10

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#17 of 18 Old 04-27-2007, 10:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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you guys are THE BEST

THE BEST

THE BEST

that's it.

deb

living in the with DH, DS (5-30-07) and DD (9-26-09) don't forget the dogs, cat, fish, toads and geckos.....
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#18 of 18 Old 04-28-2007, 07:05 AM
 
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not much more to add,

but , mama!




Jesse, wife to DH , mama to DD 13, DS 11, DS 8, DD 6, DS 3 & bean EDD 12/18/13
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