need to vent - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-03-2007, 02:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
violets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 160
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am just so mad at my hubby right now!!!!! He has been such a jerk since Gabriel's been born. First of all, he was nasty to me because I decided to stay an extra day at the hospital. I have four other kids at home , no help, and really needed the extra day to rest. the baby isn't even 2 weeks old and my hubby has already yelled at me because the house isn't to his standard of clean. I am so tired and want to cry all the time, but can't cry in front of my hubby because he just tells me not to pull the crap. I really really hate him right now.
violets is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-03-2007, 02:18 AM
 
BrooklynDoula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,701
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh that's terrible! I am so sorry you are having a tough time right now. Is there a way to help him see that is behavior sucks, is there someone you can have talk to him and is there someone who could help you out some? Can you afford to hire someone for a few weeks to help out?

and

Megan Davidson, Labor & Postpartum Doula, Breastfeeding Counselor, Anthropologist, Mom to August (9) and Clay (4), Partner to Shawn.

BrooklynDoula is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 03:34 AM
 
ewins24's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: On a rainy island
Posts: 1,406
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry he is being such a jerk! That is not ok! Do you have someone you can call to help out w/ cleaning the house? I hope you can find a way to talk to him to tell him how hurtful he is being to you right now. What you need to be doing right now is focusing on Gabriel and yourself right now not putting up w/ his crap.

I'm so sorry sweetie...
ewins24 is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 03:52 AM
 
richella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: middle of nowhere, KS
Posts: 2,123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
DH is being a jerk, but if you want to cry that much, is there a chance you are having some ppd? Treatment for that might not change how dh treats you, or get your house clean, but might make you feel better.

Hope things change a lot for the better for you soon!
richella is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 08:27 AM
 
rachelmarie21480's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 21
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a feeling I'll be hearing the same thing from my husband. Men just don't understnad what its like to go through labor and give birth!! With my ds, he was fine with the messy hosue he first few weeks since I wasn't supposed to do anything but he got annoyed with my mommy brain and paranoia. That plus, he's nto a big fan of bfing and it drove him nuts that I had a baby on my boob all the time. I hope your husband gives you a break though!! *hugs*
rachelmarie21480 is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 10:17 AM
 
funkygranolamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
he probably now understands how hard it is to take care of 4 kids alone and is resentful that he has had to do it alone. it's amazing what happens when the tables are turned.
funkygranolamama is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 12:30 PM
 
QuiteLikeRain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Cambridge, MA
Posts: 443
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ugh, that sucks mama, I am so sorry.

I remember when my little guy (now 2) was born, and my husband didn't help me at all. He was working a crazy work schedule, but he'd sleep all day on the weekends and seemed to simpy just NOT CARE how I was doing or how the babe was doing. It's like it was all about him, his sleep, his state of mind, and his annoyance that laundry wasn't done, etc. He was like, "you're home all day on maternity leave (I was working at the time), what do you do all day?"

I just kept quiet and let the resentment build, until finally, when babe was about 4-5 months old I completely lost it on him, to the point where I told him to get the hell out. That seemed to snap him out of it. I hope you don't have to wait that long for him to get a damn clue. Seriously, I think they are just DUMB. My dh is also not at all caring when it comes to my pregnancy, he never asks how I'm feeling or if I need anything. I've come to just let it go (since fortunately I have easy pregnancies, so I don't really need much), bu luckily he's much more helpful and supportive with our little guy now, and I expect him to be helpful and *caring* when this new guy shows up.

Anyway, be well, and BE STRONG! Stand up for you. *hug*

E ~ Mostly-SAHM to 3 amazing boys (and another little guy still percolating, due 5/10)! :
QuiteLikeRain is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 05:09 PM
 
lirumlarum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Wolfe Island, Ontatio, Canada
Posts: 5
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know absolutely how you are feeling,it could be my hubby you are describing there! We also have four kids and no help, and he cares about the mess in the house !!!After ds #3 he actually asked me if I can clean up the garden shed (literally a couple of hrs after the birth) because my parents were flying in from Germany the next day (not to help much, though)-the nerves on him! I have learned though that, at least in my dh's case, it rreally is true ignorance about what is going on in a woman's body when in comes to pregnancy and cb, I really have to spell everything out to him even if I think it must be completely obvious that I am exhausted because I haven't slept for a week or because I gave birth three hours ago.... Try to be levelheaded and firm when you do that (I know, levelheaded, ha ha...)
It realy hurts though to be treated like that, and I hope things will get better for you soon!
lirumlarum is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 06:01 PM
 
aran's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Luckville
Posts: 1,371
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Print this out and leave it in the kitchen table.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/02/mot...rss_topstories

aran .......... Mr. aran .......... DS1 .......... DS2
BIL Oct. 1961 - Jun. 2009 taken by cancer
aran is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 06:39 PM
 
funkygranolamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by aran View Post


Print this out and leave it in the kitchen table.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/02/mot...rss_topstories
I'm a bit underpaid
funkygranolamama is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off