Ok--I know we have many other similar threads but I did not want to hijack any one else's so I am starting yet another " is this ever going to go some where thread?"
I have shared before that I am doula---but this is MY first pregnancy and birth...and man, it's hard being on this side when I know TOO much!
As of Wed (5/02) I was 37 wks, 100% effaced, +1 station and stretchy 2cm dilated. He was a bit posteriour but after some serious adjustments with my chiro on Thursday--he flipped around to LOA and I started having some hard contractions. ( I have been having BH for months--but these were taking my breath away.) I contracted until late--then went to bed. Woke up Friday feeling very achy in the hips--with lots of cervical pain. I decided to not go to work because I felt this could be the day. I stayed home, and literally slept all day. Had some loose stools, tiny bit of clumpy discharge ( no color) and peeing every 45 minutes or so. Still contracting when I was awake...but nothing else.
So last night---I am contracting again pretty regularly---but nothing else so I decide to sleep again. Slept through the night--although woke up with very achy hips again. Today...nada. Contracting pretty regularly when I am awake ( but again spent most of the day sleeping...this is not like me to be soo sleppy!)
And when I am awake---I just sit around wondering what to do with my self!
So I am wondering if maybe I was to try to "pretend" I am not pregnant or at least not expecting a baby any time soon, if THAT would help! Cause I am at my wits end...and feeling so discouraged. I know all the things about baby will come when he's ready, enjoy this time before her comes, blah, blah, blah....I have given those speeches to my clients numerous times....but this whole "teasing" with the progress and contractions is whats killing me!! I want to curl in a ball and cry...because I am not sure what else to do with my self! I could vacuum, or clean my car....but those things will only cause contractions and I am not having much faith in my contractions right now.
I have tried to exmaine the emotional stuff...am I really ready? Am I holding back any fears? Etc...and really cant find any thing there. I had a talk with baby on Wed. letting him know I felt ready whenever he is---and I really think I meant it.
I dont know ladies...I guess I just needed to vent. It's hard to have been the one to doula so many moms--and then feel so very discouraged yourself. I have 2 doulas ( both my business partners) and they are really trying to encourage me...but nothing seems to be working very well.
I am enjoying getting on the boards and reading what others are saying and dealing with...makes me feel like not such a loner!