how do i quit feeling like i have to DO something? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 05-12-2007, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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you know, to get labor started.

logically i know there are mamas all the time who just wake up with contrax, or have their water break, w/e...and then they just have a baby.
it should be that simple right?

yet somehow i can't shake the feeling that i have to DO things to get the baby to come: from castor oil rubs on the belly to sex to nipple stimulation to positive visualizations to walking to endless cups of RRL tea to homeopathy bla bla bla....

i have contrax that are SO strong and so regular for SO long...entire day's worth....but sooner or later they just go randomly on their way and I always feel like it's my fault for not "staying on top of things mentally"--like my back will be so sore, so I'll lay down, or I'll get distracted and lose my zen-mama focus

but really. it's not like it's my "fault" that labor hasn't come yet. right? it's not like i'm supposed to bring it on and keep it going entirely with willpower or w/e. right?

the baby will just come when it's ready. and my body will know what to do and when/how to do it.....

Right??

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#2 of 22 Old 05-13-2007, 12:34 AM
 
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I'm so feeling you right now, mama. I've had several bouts of contractions that eventually go away and I think, "if only I had _____". It's so hard at the end of pregnancy to just let go and let our babies come when they are ready. Because mentally I am soooooo freakin ready to meet this baby. I keep saying, "maybe we should go eat some really spicy food, go for a walk, etc." and my dh just keeps pulling me back to reality that there is nothing I can do to bring on labor, it's all up to the baby. He's so funny, he's like, "why are you doing this to yourself, you need to think of something else." Ha! Pffft, think of something else, yeah right, like that would even be possible for any pregnant woman past her due date!

Jenn, future midwife, mama to 2 sweet girls (6/05) and (5/07). 
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#3 of 22 Old 05-13-2007, 01:16 AM
 
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I feel like that right now since I have been having regular contractions for the past 3 weeks.I had all three of my babies by now.Course I don't really know my real due date since I don't have a LMP and was just going by the U/S that measured my baby to be about 19 and a half weeks.I am in so much pain I am just ready to hold this baby.This little guy is nothing like my others.

joy.gifme, herding 5 critters a cat and a dog. DS 11/01, DS 10/04, DD 2/06, DS 5/07 and DD 9/10

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#4 of 22 Old 05-13-2007, 11:42 AM
 
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OMG Krystal you summed up my feelings completely. I've been wanting to post something to the effect of "Why do we feel like we have to DO something???"
My "due date" is either today or next Sunday. . .Next Sunday is when my beloved MW who knows that this is more a UC birth than anything is leaving to go to Costa Rica. I haven't met her backup. She says the backup understands and is cool with my UCness and being there just as my backup, but I don't know how much to trust that.


I wish I could trust that my body will just do what it needs to do without me encouraging things.

~laura
and planning to eat it again
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#5 of 22 Old 05-13-2007, 05:26 PM
 
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This is EXACTLY how i've been feeling!
I started getting lots of cramps/contrax/mucous over a month ago....
Things started getting intense (like, making me worry about how bad the *real* labour might hurt) starting last sunday.
Friday night i had my first real contraction, i could not move or breath and i felt it all over my skin and it was pretty awful really. I've had around 10 of those since then.... but nothing for hours.
I feel like i need to keep rocking my hips and focusing on opening up for the baby, like if i don't stay in the zone my body will stop doing it.
Logically, of course our babies are on the way no matter what we do, but it really is frustrtating.
I wish i was one of those "OH there's a contrax. there's another, water broke, have a baby!' kind of women LOL. But apparently im a "this must be it... no it's not" woman instead.

Thanks for starting this thread! Maybe i can stop thinking about it now (ya right hahaha, more like time to go sit on the labour ball for awhile and drink RRL )

Mom to Lizzy born May 2007 & expecting Baby#2 June/July 2010
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#6 of 22 Old 05-13-2007, 05:29 PM
 
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Actually, your baby will come without you doing a single blessed thing.

'getting things started' using home measures is still an induction, and still carries risks. It can still mean a longer, harder labor and a higher risk for malpresentation because your baby isn't ready yet.

It's totally normal to labor off and on for a couple of weeks and then wake up one day with contractions that culminate in the baby coming out.

It's totally normal to obsess about it not happening yet as well
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#7 of 22 Old 05-13-2007, 05:42 PM
 
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this is me! this is me! this is me! ha ha ha!!

one thing i AM gonna do though is start acupuncture on monday with the "fertility" acupuncturist who has been known to start labor with her magic.

my due date is tuesday, and it's pretty damn excact as these things go.

acupuncture seems like a good n safe intervention. and maybe it will make this back pain go away!!

deb

living in the with DH, DS (5-30-07) and DD (9-26-09) don't forget the dogs, cat, fish, toads and geckos.....
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#8 of 22 Old 05-13-2007, 06:10 PM
 
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The average, healthy, normal first time mom goes 8 days past the infernally calculated due-date.
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#9 of 22 Old 05-13-2007, 09:07 PM
 
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even if you know date of conception?

living in the with DH, DS (5-30-07) and DD (9-26-09) don't forget the dogs, cat, fish, toads and geckos.....
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#10 of 22 Old 05-13-2007, 09:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tofutti View Post
even if you know date of conception?
On average a first timer's pregnancy is 8 days longer than a multip's and the due date is based more on a multip's pregnancy legnth, so yes. It would be more accurate to use a different due date for primips.

~laura
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#11 of 22 Old 05-14-2007, 12:22 AM
 
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I don't know how to quit feeling like I have to do something either. But honestly, I'm really trying to stop. I've have spent the past couple days figuring out the best way to get labor started.

Last night though, DH and I had a long conversation and I just think that I need to stop and relax. She's coming in her own time, not mine. I keep repeating that when I start thinking of doing things like nipple stim. I am going to keep walking and DTD - because that's just fun.

Vanessa... Happily married to a paramedic - celebrating 10 years of marriage!  Mama to one crazy 6 year old transformer and one chatterbox 4 year old princess.  Daycare provider to many jumping beans  I'm expecting my third in late November. 

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#12 of 22 Old 05-14-2007, 04:32 AM
 
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i had a nice day of not obsessing about whether these contractions were going to take off.My SIL had her baby this morning and when my MIL asked me how I was feeling I told her its the end of pregnancy yeah of course I hurt but this baby is staying here forever.LOL

joy.gifme, herding 5 critters a cat and a dog. DS 11/01, DS 10/04, DD 2/06, DS 5/07 and DD 9/10

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#13 of 22 Old 05-14-2007, 05:04 PM
 
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yes, even if you know the date of conception. First timers gestate longer on average.
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#14 of 22 Old 05-14-2007, 08:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Synchro246 View Post
On average a first timer's pregnancy is 8 days longer than a multip's
I've always thought that the average first time pregnancy goes 8 days late (mine did) and the average second (or third) pregnancy was 3 days late.

I also just read that boy babies tend to stay in a little longer than girls.
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#15 of 22 Old 05-14-2007, 08:24 PM
 
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I've always thought that the average first time pregnancy goes 8 days late (mine did) and the average second (or third) pregnancy was 3 days late.

I also just read that boy babies tend to stay in a little longer than girls.
We are saying the same thing I think. I'm just not using the term "late" because if they go 8 days longer than average then 8 days longer is "right on time"

~laura
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#16 of 22 Old 05-14-2007, 08:47 PM
 
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I'm just getting so impatient to meet this little boy. And contractions can be such a tease. I keep wondering, will this be the time that they get more regular? Torture!

I made a deal with this babe early on. As long as he waited until he could breath on his own, he could pick any day after that. He held up his end of the deal, I guess that means it's my job to be patient on my end of things.
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#17 of 22 Old 05-15-2007, 02:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Krystal323 View Post

i have contrax that are SO strong and so regular for SO long...entire day's worth....but sooner or later they just go randomly on their way and I always feel like it's my fault for not "staying on top of things mentally"--like my back will be so sore, so I'll lay down, or I'll get distracted and lose my zen-mama focus
This is EXACTLY what I've been experiencing for the last 3 weeks...10-14 hours of serious contractions boardering from uncomfortable to downright painful and requiring major focus to get through them.

Saturday night I was up all night with big contractions...my husband even woke up and was helping me manage my pain. I was finally able to fall asleep around 6 a.m. and when I woke up...no more contractions.

I'm not officially due for another 3 weeks...but having gone through all of this "false" labor for the last 3 weeks, I expected to have had the baby by now.

I sympathize with you, whole-heartedly.
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#18 of 22 Old 05-15-2007, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thx for all the sympathy/empathy--it helps to know I'm not alone! I'll be 41 weeks tomorrow, and for the moment I'm just trying to be calm and reasonable: Just measured my fundal height, it's right at 41cm. BP is still normal. No swelling. Still gaining weight. Babe is moving like crazy. And of course I still have like 19 different signs of imminent labor going on--frustrating, but meh, I'm quite sure I won't be pregnant forever....

Am trying to think happy thoughts, like what the expression will be on my kids' and DP's face when we finally get to meet this kiddo. Still wondering if it'll be a boy or a girl too! No less than two of my friends have had boy dreams about this babe, and I have had several myself--but this is in spite of my DP's very strong girl feelings

So. 41 weeks tomorrow. I shall keep y'all updated

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#19 of 22 Old 05-16-2007, 09:20 AM
 
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Out of curiosity-- what's your Bishop's score now Like a 30?

I'm up to a 15 now.
I thought for sure I was in labor two nights ago, but NO.
I never realized how many women go so long with so many signs of labor. I swear I don't ever hear main stream women going thru this.

~laura
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#20 of 22 Old 05-16-2007, 10:04 AM
 
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Oh man, this sounds like me the two weeks before the babies were born! I had spent so long NOT wanting them to come, and I REALLY wanted them to come while DH was in town so he wouldn't have to drive, so when he was there on the weekends, we'd try all sorts of stuff to get things moving... I'd have contractions every 4 minutes for ALL DAY (never strengthening or getting more frequent), and then I'd go to bed frustrated and annoyed, things would slow down, and I'd fall asleep.

All I can say is that it will happen. Suggesting patience is probably useless at this point, but it will happen.



P.S.-- My Bishop's Score was a 19 for over a week before I had the babies!

Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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#21 of 22 Old 05-16-2007, 12:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Synchro246 View Post
I never realized how many women go so long with so many signs of labor. I swear I don't ever hear main stream women going thru this.
I think that's because mainstream women already move to having inductions.

Vanessa... Happily married to a paramedic - celebrating 10 years of marriage!  Mama to one crazy 6 year old transformer and one chatterbox 4 year old princess.  Daycare provider to many jumping beans  I'm expecting my third in late November. 

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#22 of 22 Old 05-16-2007, 05:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think that's because mainstream women already move to having inductions.
:

if i was going to a traditional OB i would for-sure have already made several trips to L&D thinking "this is it!", and probably they would have just sped things up artificially once i was there

so in a way this is neat--this may be the first babe of mine that gets to pick his/her own birthday!

: OMG Christy, a NINETEEN, for TWO WEEKS?!? well jeeeeeeez.....I guess I should just quit complaining then--I'm "only" a 16! :nana:

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