Sigh. I am so very pissed off at the moment.
Big Complaint Number One:
My EDD by LMP was May 12th. From my ultrasound, it was May 22nd. I knew
that the more accurate date was the later one. But way back when I first got my scans done, my MW (well, the MW who was assigned to me at that time) said that I 'had' to with the earlier one, as my scan wasn't done until after 20 weeks, when they aren't that accurate for dating. So I have been feeling 'overdue' and anticipating a fight over induction (and getting correspondingly stressed) since the 12th. I go to see another MW, for a stretch and sweep as I am apparently 10 days past my EDD, she says there is no way she will do it (thank god) because a) baby is nowhere near low enough yet and b) I should have been told to go with my later date anyway.
Big weight off my mind that the pressure doesn't really start for another 2 weeks-but that means I've been on edge for nearly 2 weeks for NO EFFING REASON. Other than the mistake of my original midwife. Who basically made a decision that was wrong, against my wishes and in spite of my argument that I know the date of conception and it had to be the later one, and caused me a lot of extra stress.
Big Complaint Number 2:
The MW I saw on Tuesday sent me to see a consultant to confirm the change in my dates (because, obviously, nothing can be true until a man in a hospital has said so). He was fine about the later dates, but jumped on the fact that I have a mild heart murmur (which has been on my notes all along, and I have seen a lot of different care providers due to the way our health system works), and flat out told me that I HAD to be in hospital on an IV drip for the whole of my labour. I have been booked for home birth for all of my pregnancy, not one thing has been mentioned to me about it. I've posted all about the whole sorry story here
. Basically I have now decided to stay at home, despite the doctor's advice, as it doesn't seem to fit with any research I can find and is definitely a 'better excessively 'safe' than sorry' approach that fails to ackniowledge any possible disadvantages of being in hospital and having an IV during normal birth. But it has taken me 3 days of frantic, panicky research and horrible, terarful emotional confrontations with doctors to reach this decision. And even though I'm fairly confident with what I decided, it has basically planted all sorts of nasty doubt and fear in my head about all sorts of things.
I could really, really have done without this at this stage in my pregnancy. It is truly shocking that this issue was only raised the day after my baby was due (well, 11 days after I was told my baby was 'officially' due). If it had come up earlier I could have done so much more research, been so much more secure about stuff and not have this horrible stressed panicky feeling when I should be calmy preparing for birth.
I am so angry with our maternity system.
Big Complaint Number 3:
I still have no baby
And absolutely no signs of baby coming any time soon.
Not a single contraction, baby is STILL not engaged, no mucus plug, no nothing.
I know that I still have a while to go before I am properly overdue (going off the later dates). But I'm pretty worried that the incredible stress and upset I have been under for the last few days will have really interfered with my ability to go into labour. And, to be quite honest, if they do start trying ot induce me once I'm really
at 42 weeks, I just can't see me having the energy to fight any more. Tearful confrontations with medical professionals are not doing my mental state any good, and I feel like I can only go against medical advice a certain number of times before I become a complete stroppy idiot who everyone hates and who should really just suck it up and do what she's told.
I'm probably going to have acupuncture in about a week's time if she's still not here-it seems like it could be useful to remove some of the stress that could be stopping my body doing its thang. And if that doesn't work I'm just gonna feel like curling up in a little ball and letting them do as they like with me.
Sorry, that is a big moan, but i needed to get it off my chest! Anyone else feeling like the world is against them and they're never ever going tlo get a baby, much less a healthy live one with no complications for either of you?