how do i know? and tmi question - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-07-2007, 11:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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when is it safe to dtd with dh. i miss him terriblly

im still bleeding slightly though its more discharge tinged with blood than actual bleeding..does that sound normal? i cant seem to remember. nathaniel is 2 weeks and 4 days old

Annemarie ~catholic mom of 8 -4 boys (19-16-10-7).Emma)2 girls (3 and 1)Someone new due in April too!An yes I Blog @ You Leave me breadless blog
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Old 06-07-2007, 11:39 AM
 
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I'm also still bleeding! Dd2 is almost 2 wks old.
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Old 06-07-2007, 11:47 AM
 
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Well, if you want it and your crotch *feels* OK (aka: it doesn't hurt when you sit certain ways or squat or touch it) then it's probably fine. It's still a bit early by the textbook though. . .if you take it easy the next few days bleeding will probably stop by the 3 week mark and then you won't have that open wound inside. . .Did you have stiches?
Either way take it slow when you do it. Let DH know ahead of time that depending on the way it feels you may need to stop before. . . uh. . .anyone's "done".

I felt very ready at 4 weeks last time and when we tried it hurt a lot more than I anticipated. I did have stiches that time. I was still spotting at that point.
This time I am feeling ready and my discharge is about where your's is and I'm2 weeks 5 days PP. We shall see what happens this weekend

~laura
and planning to eat it again
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Old 06-07-2007, 11:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Synchro246 View Post
Well, if you want it and your crotch *feels* OK (aka: it doesn't hurt when you sit certain ways or squat or touch it) then it's probably fine. It's still a bit early by the textbook though. . .if you take it easy the next few days bleeding will probably stop by the 3 week mark and then you won't have that open wound inside. . .Did you have stiches?
Either way take it slow when you do it. Let DH know ahead of time that depending on the way it feels you may need to stop before. . . uh. . .anyone's "done".

I felt very ready at 4 weeks last time and when we tried it hurt a lot more than I anticipated. I did have stiches that time. I was still spotting at that point.
This time I am feeling ready and my discharge is about where your's is and I'm2 weeks 5 days PP. We shall see what happens this weekend
i didnt tear at all. i was a little sore the first week but now i feel pretty good. we may try it this weekend while the kids sleep at my mother's.

dh is really gentle and easy going so he should be ok. last baby we dtd by like 4 weeks this time i feel better in some ways. emotionally well...
i just so need to reconnect and that seems to be the crux of it. maybe i just need some cuddle time!
as always synchro thanks for the info

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Old 06-07-2007, 03:17 PM
 
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I tore this time and had a few stitches...my last two births I had an episiotomy but this was a different dr. We dtd at 2 wks (I had stopped bleeding) and I was surprised at how not painful it was. After my last two times we waited the full six weeks and it was still slightly painful. I was nervous about dtd so soon but I felt ready. I had stopped bleeding but the next day I did have some spotting/tan discharge that has persisted but is just about gone now.
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Old 06-07-2007, 03:32 PM
 
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I gotta say I'm a little nervous. I'm really ready though (if the nightly sex dreams are any indication).
: that it won't hurt
I bet you I won't even do it. I'm such a wuss.
Let me know how it goes this weekend. If it's not TMI to share

~laura
and planning to eat it again
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Old 06-07-2007, 04:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Synchro246 View Post
I gotta say I'm a little nervous. I'm really ready though (if the nightly sex dreams are any indication).
: that it won't hurt
I bet you I won't even do it. I'm such a wuss.
Let me know how it goes this weekend. If it's not TMI to share
after all the stuff we've all shared i doubt much is tmi .

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Old 06-07-2007, 04:40 PM
 
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My husband had been bugging me for a few weeks. My baby is now 4.5 weeks old. I finally gave in the other day. It wasn't really too sore, but it was ......a bit dry after a few minutes. Plus I was a little tense about it, thinking it might not be too comfortable. It wasn't comfortable, but not pain either.

Give it a shot, knowing that it might need to stop abruptly.

nurse, mama, doula-in-training to J-14, J-13, S-7, S-4, and P-2(born at home)
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Old 06-07-2007, 06:40 PM
 
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I agree w/ Laura if your crotch feels ok then go for it. The 1st time we tried to dtd it hurt so bad that we had to stop and I just cried b/c I was disappointed and it a bit of pain. It was 2 1/2 weeks pp. We tried again about 5 days later and it was AWESOME!! : Dh was really wonderful being patient and gentle.

I hope you guys have GREAT weekends!

And do report back b/c like kittn sd no its not tmi at this point! LOL
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Old 06-08-2007, 05:18 AM
 
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I had the same question about a week ago, I even did a search and couldn't find anything. I couldn't even find much of anything searching google to see what was said about safety. The only thing I was able to find was that one is supposed to wait till the bleeding stops due to risk of infection. Well, I figured that it's kind of the same as risking infection from a pelvic exam. Perhaps less likely. So, since I was really needing to reconnect we dtd last night and it went just fine! My baby is 2 weeks today. I was really surprised it wasn't uncomfortable at all! Of course it wasn't wild crazy version of dtd but it worked never the less. I used some store brand KY and nothing hurt or was uncomfortable. I bled a little heavier this morning, but I think everything is okay. I have a tiny skid mark where I ripped with ds1 and got stiched last time, but it's healed well even though a little tender. So, I too would so go for it if you are feeling ready, but only if you trust dp to be gentle. Thank you all for talking about this! Like I said I searched and couldn't find anything on the subject.

mom to boy 14, boy 5, angel.gif  11 week loss, 2ndtri.gif  Expecting a surprise in December! lactivist.gifintactivist.gifhomeschool.gifnovaxnoIRC.gifrocks.jpguc.jpg

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Old 06-08-2007, 10:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i talked to dh about this last night and he is scared! he doesnt want to hurt me. he's quite sweet. hopefully were going for it this weekend. dh said first we need some wine, gentle music and candles (yup thats why i love him) that way we can just cuddle if it hurts me.

now if he could only be that good about finishing the laundry he starts!

Annemarie ~catholic mom of 8 -4 boys (19-16-10-7).Emma)2 girls (3 and 1)Someone new due in April too!An yes I Blog @ You Leave me breadless blog
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Old 06-08-2007, 11:02 AM
 
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wow, I'm jealous of all you guys who feel the urge, with DD #1 I didn't ever feel like doing anything until my cycles returned at 18 months. Typically by the end of the day I feel really touched out. :

Tracy, Wifey to Jeff . Mama to Maya-Papaya 7/04 and Carolina Bean-a 5/07 and Jack 7/4/10!!
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Old 06-08-2007, 12:46 PM
 
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I wanted to add that we did use a lot of KY Jelly...and also doing it in the shower made it less painful (hopefully that isn't TMI).
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Old 06-08-2007, 05:50 PM
 
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we waited until weeks, but i wasn't ready before then. It hurt a bit to get started, but then we were good. of course now he wants it every day: and i'm not quite ready for THAT! maybe if i weren't quite so tired!?

Mom to Kayleigh (05/07) Jacob (05/09) and Ned decluttering 615/2010
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Old 06-08-2007, 09:29 PM
 
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We have tried twice (at 10 days and 15 days) and it did not hurt but it felt odd and not right so we stopped -- we'll likely keep doing that until it works

TMI but i have had orgasms, just from clit stim, starting at about 5 days, so you can do that if dtd does not work yet

Megan Davidson, Labor & Postpartum Doula, Breastfeeding Counselor, Anthropologist, Mom to August (9) and Clay (4), Partner to Shawn.

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Old 06-08-2007, 10:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We have tried twice (at 10 days and 15 days) and it did not hurt but it felt odd and not right so we stopped -- we'll likely keep doing that until it works

TMI but i have had orgasms, just from clit stim, starting at about 5 days, so you can do that if dtd does not work yet
good ideas good good ideas

Annemarie ~catholic mom of 8 -4 boys (19-16-10-7).Emma)2 girls (3 and 1)Someone new due in April too!An yes I Blog @ You Leave me breadless blog
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Old 06-11-2007, 01:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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*sigh* we tried but alas it did not work the way I wanted it to. Something just doesn't feel right yet. I actually am a little concerned that I may have a mild prolapse issue going on. things just don't look or feel right down there right now. Im a little surprised since this has never happened before.

however regardless DH and I did have quite a bit of "fun"

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Old 06-11-2007, 09:21 PM
 
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at one of my childbirth classes, we were told to use condoms prior to six weeks post partum because you have a wound where the placenta was attached and your risk of infection is increased until the wound has a chance to heal entirely. The condoms reduce the risk of harmful bacteria reaching the wound.
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Old 06-11-2007, 09:37 PM
 
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NAK

We dtd friday. I was basicly done bleeding at that point. I had only been spotting brown for about a week. We took it slowly; It was really good. BUT I hurt Terribly after the fact. I started bleeding red on Sunday. Don't know if it's related. Iwas very INactive this weekend so it wasn't overexertion.. .

~laura
and planning to eat it again
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Old 06-11-2007, 10:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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oh laura im so very jealous but happy for you just the same


! I JUST WANNA GET SOME ALREADY!

Annemarie ~catholic mom of 8 -4 boys (19-16-10-7).Emma)2 girls (3 and 1)Someone new due in April too!An yes I Blog @ You Leave me breadless blog
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Old 06-11-2007, 10:59 PM
 
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I'm jealous, too. I just have no libido whatsoever. : Luckily dh hasn't brought it up, really.

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