Will you find out the sex?? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 51 Old 10-22-2006, 11:47 AM
 
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We don't want to know-we want to be surprised. DH feels very strongly about this-he loves surprises! Of course he's the one who can't shop early for Christmas or birthdays because he always wants me to see what he's gotten because he's so proud of himself. We've also decided against sharing the names we choose beforehand. We have several choices already but DH wants that to be a surprise for everyone else.

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#32 of 51 Old 10-22-2006, 11:57 AM
 
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I found out for DS because I wanted to know what kind of clothes and nursery stuff to buy : (even though the nursery ended up getting zero use). This time I REALLY don't want to know but DP really wants to know. I am making all the other choices like, HB, no vax, no circ, BF, etc so I told DP that the sex could be his choice. Now I regret that because I really don't want to know.

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#33 of 51 Old 10-22-2006, 02:50 PM
 
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We're going to find out. I wasn't going to with my first pregnancy but we had to have an u/s and I could see on the screen that she was a girl. I was glad I knew after I saw that...Even though my prengncy ended 2 days later.
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#34 of 51 Old 10-22-2006, 04:19 PM
 
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No it is the best surprise in the whole world, we did not with dd and will not again. I don't have any scans so it is a bit impossible anyway

Each time i have had a little bit of a preferance and so it was extra important for me not to find out so that i could never be dissapointed, which i might have been if told before i had the babay, but once you have huffed and buffed and done all that work to push them out there is no way that you can be dissapointed no matter what the baby is, all you feel then is love for which ever little soul you have been entrusted with
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#35 of 51 Old 10-23-2006, 04:09 AM
 
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I haven't decided yet. I didn't find out with my first, and then I did find out with the other 3. I think I bonded a little better with the ones I knew the sex of, but there's something so romantic about waiting. I'm leaning toward waiting this time, but not sure if my willpower will hold out.
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#36 of 51 Old 10-23-2006, 09:01 AM
 
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I found out for DS because I wanted to know what kind of clothes and nursery stuff to buy : (even though the nursery ended up getting zero use).

Same here! She even has a toddler bed that is used more as trampoline than a bed in our bedroom!
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#37 of 51 Old 10-23-2006, 11:37 AM
 
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I hope to avoid U/S alltogether I was able to till delivery with my DD.
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#38 of 51 Old 10-23-2006, 12:40 PM
 
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for all those eager to know mommies... remember the u/s determination is fallible... my sister thought she was having a girl ...she stocked up and everything... turns out i have a nephew

we laugh now but it was really hard those first couple days.. she had bonded with an imaginary daughter and now she had a baby boy in her arms... :

its all good now though

as for us... were gonna skip the whole u/s thing if possible... ds never got one.. we're hoping not to fo this one either
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#39 of 51 Old 10-23-2006, 01:36 PM
 
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I do want to know the sex...but only if this babe waves their private parts at the aunties (so to speak). I wouldn't do a scan just to determine sex. Also, DH reads u/s images all the time at work...if we get an u/s and the babe flashes the camera there is no way he wouldn't know right up front, no need for the tech to make a guess. And if he knows, I wanna know!

With dd we let family/friends know we were having a girl but kept her name secret till she was born. We're hoping to do something similar with this one...

Our families make wonderful handmade gifts for each babe and they like to know the sex so they can encorporate mildly gendered themes (usually the boys get quilts and carved shelves with leaves and frogs and teddy bears while the girls get quilts and carved trays with flowers and shells and dragon flies).

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#40 of 51 Old 10-23-2006, 02:08 PM
 
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My dh and I are already debating and discussing the idea of u/s. My mw doesnt like u/s and doesnt recommend them. I dont like the idea of an ultrasound as we are planning a homebirth, so we would have to make an extra appt somewhere to get it done. But I am knitter and I love cutsie girly stuff so knowing the sex would be really fun for that. My dh has already said he wants to know the sex and he would like me to get an u/s. So if I decide against it I will have to have him research why u/s cold possibly be harmful so he understands.

I do have an idea that my baby is a boy though! I had my first mama dream! In the dream I was breastfeeding a baby boy who was about 6 months old. He latched on and I was really shocked by the way it felt! He had dark hair and a blue pajamas on. Even before this dream, I have had a feeling it was a boy, even though I am only 5 weeks pregnant today. So if we dont find out the sex, I will more likely buy and make more boyish stuff.

I do love purples, yellows and mint colors so I would be happy putting either gender in those colors! And we will will be painting our walls in waldorf lazure style, so that goes with any gender.

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#41 of 51 Old 10-23-2006, 04:50 PM
 
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Probably not. We aren't planning on having an ultrasound (unless medically ness.) so, without that, it would be hard. I can't imagine having an ultrasound and not finding out though. Great willpower for those of you that can!!

My MIL is devestated. She wants to know the sex SO bad. She thinks the peanut is a boy (which I kinda think so too) so she has ALREADY bought baby boy clothes. So much for gender neutral. =P
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#42 of 51 Old 10-25-2006, 09:11 AM
 
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With dd, dh really wanted to know- and back then I wasn't very cruchy (never even considered not doing the u/s), so we found out. But I knew the day I POAS that we were having a girl.

This time I just know we are having a boy, and I don't need an u/s to tell me that. However, if I need an u/s later (which i might, I already had to have one for bleeding), I'll probably let dh decide if we find out or not. It doesn't feel like ruining a suprise because I already know, but at the same time, I wouldn't want an u/s just to see, because I know.

BTW- If this sounds nuts and you worry for my well being: if I have a girl- that would really be fine too. A healthy baby, boy or girl will be the most amazing blessing!

Laura, Mama to Mya 7/02, Ian 6/07 and Anna 8/09
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#43 of 51 Old 10-25-2006, 11:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Right now I will say no We found out with DD even though my mama intution told me she is girl! I don't think DH wants to know...not yet anyway
Secret;y. my intuition has been pointing to girl all along. But I dont want to go around announcing it in case my mama intuition is wrong.
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#44 of 51 Old 10-25-2006, 11:15 AM
 
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I had a friend who was recently told she was having a girl. Then the baby turned breech so she had a few u/s to check position. At 39 weeks or so she went in for one last position check to see if she needed a cesarean and they saw a penis. She bought all those girl clothes for nothing!

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#45 of 51 Old 10-25-2006, 11:39 PM
 
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Nope, although I am far more tempted to this time around. I think because I think about it in terms of being a little brother or sister to my daughter. Also I'm from all girls so I feel like I sort of have to get my head around the idea that it could be a boy! But we're not going to find out. Too much fun to hear "It's a....!"

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#46 of 51 Old 10-26-2006, 01:10 AM
 
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Well, we're hoping to avoid any ultrasounds this time, so I would say no!

, , , and
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#47 of 51 Old 10-26-2006, 05:21 AM
 
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I think I'd want to know the sex this time around. With dd we didn't want to know and I so regretted that we didn't find out, but that's part of my mistake too. Let me explain..
From the beginning of my first pregnancy I secretly hoped that my first born *would* be a boy and 2nd child *would* be a girl, and he'd take care of her, protect her, etc, etc. Throughout my pregnancy I kept thinking I was carrying a boy and bought some boy clothes . On our 20 wks us we didn't want to find out, while deceiving myself (at that time) that boy/girl would be the same. Well, when dd came out and the midwife announced that it was a girl, I had a pang of disappointment : .

However, 30 min later, after a short time of bonding with her, I was amazed by this precious little darling, and realized how much I loved her. I started to regret my initial reaction and disappointment. I regretted why I had that feeling, some times I cried why I had to give a d@mn about the sex. I felt as if I didn't accept her from the very beginning, as if I rejected her . I was really hard on myself, blaming myself for being such a bad mama. It took me months to get over it. Everyday I relived that delivery moments in that delivery room, while every second wishing I could start all over again and accepted her as she was, but of course that wasn't going to happen and I cried and cried to no end.

It seems so trivial a mistake but the impact was huge. For the mistake of that first reaction I had to pay back months and months of misery. I don't want to do that same mistake again, although right now I'd be happy if I have another girl; that means dd will have a little sister who could be her little confidante. And if I have a boy, then my family is complete. All in all, I think I'll find out the sex on our 20w us.
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#48 of 51 Old 10-26-2006, 05:29 AM
 
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nocalmama - don't beat yourself up. You may have still had that disappointment if you found out via u/s, the only difference would have been when. Believe me, when we found out our third was going to be another girl, I was a little disappointed, but I was so glad she looked healthy. DH and oldest DD though took it hard. Because of their reaction, I felt so sad for my baby girl, like no one wanted her but me. I thought to myself, you watch, she's going to be the most beautiful one - the one that everyone totally loves because "no one" wanted her before she was born. DH and DD loved her once she was here and, though I love all my children, I do think she is the most beautiful and everyone does love her. But that's why DH doesn't want to find out because he knows once the baby is here, he'll love the baby no matter what. KWIM? So it can sort of work either way. It's just I like to find out so that I can prepare or get used to the idea if I was hoping for something else. Of course this time, it sort of doesn't matter...I mean I'd like another boy to sort of even things out because I have 3 girls, but I do have a son already so I'm happy about that.

I just feel like I get to bond earlier knowing if baby is a boy or girl. I can imagine what things will be like - for example if it's a girl I can think about having another softball player, but if it's a boy, I can look forward to rascal faces that he'll make.

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#49 of 51 Old 10-26-2006, 12:02 PM
 
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Yes, we're finding out... as long as s/he lets us see at the 20wk ultrasound! We found out the first time, and I really liked that... I felt more "connected" to our baby - finalized our name choice on the drive home from the u/s, etc. I mostly liked being able to call DD by her name, instead of "baby".

It's funny, my mom thinks we should keep it a surprise, since we found out the first time. She never found out until birth... but I just don't want to wait that long!!

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#50 of 51 Old 10-26-2006, 12:11 PM
 
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nocalmama - don't beat yourself up. You may have still had that disappointment if you found out via u/s, the only difference would have been when.

I just feel like I get to bond earlier knowing if baby is a boy or girl. I can imagine what things will be like - for example if it's a girl I can think about having another softball player, but if it's a boy, I can look forward to rascal faces that he'll make.
Yes, I totally agree with you. I'd been thinking about it at that time and I regretted not finding out the sex during us. I am sure I'd have my disappointment after us, but at least there would be time to prepare me to accept my little girl then, and by the time she was born I wouldn't have had any disappointments, regrets whatsoever, and that incident would never happen. What a huge difference it would've made. That's why this time around I want to find out the sex, if we can find it .
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#51 of 51 Old 10-26-2006, 02:38 PM
 
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... by the time she was born I wouldn't have had any disappointments, regrets whatsoever, and that incident would never happen. What a huge difference it would've made. That's why this time around I want to find out the sex, if we can find it .
That's true, I supposed that way your entire birth experience would have been more positive. In that case, I hope your little one cooperates so that you can find out!

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