Will you find out the sex?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 51 Old 10-20-2006, 09:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are not, and everyone acts like we are totally nuts. Anyone else?
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#2 of 51 Old 10-20-2006, 09:35 PM
 
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I'm undecided but my DH wants to know. He's also the one who opens Christmas presents before Christmas, no patience!
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#3 of 51 Old 10-20-2006, 09:40 PM
 
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Yep we will be.....we wont have an ultrasound done just for that purpose though....we will be having frquent ones done anyways due to needing to check cervical length.
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#4 of 51 Old 10-20-2006, 09:49 PM
 
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We hope to find out. Neither girl cooperated at their 20 week u/s, but I did find out at a later u/s both times due to complications. Maybe this time we'll actually find out at the 20 week u/s. I guess only time will tell.

edited to add: I don't think you're nuts for not wanting to find out. Baby's sex is one of the last great surprises around these days. I'm just not one for surprises so I prefer to find out. If I liked surprises I think it would be awesome to find out at delivery.

Mama to three sweet girls (a dramatic, chatty 10yo, a bouncy, dynamo of a 7yo, and a delightful, whimsical 3.5yo)
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#5 of 51 Old 10-20-2006, 09:58 PM
 
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We don't plan to have u/s unless medically necessary, so probably not.
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#6 of 51 Old 10-20-2006, 10:10 PM
 
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I'd really,really like to find out. There are enough surprises ahead of me. I'd love to have this one piece of knowledge, baby willing. My mw doesn't generally offer an ultrasound unless there's a reason, but will schedule one if you ask. Now, time to weigh the pros and cons.
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#7 of 51 Old 10-20-2006, 10:15 PM
 
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We will not be having an ultrasound (we never have).

Mom to Eoin (11/02), Eilis (09/04), Eamon (07/07), and Ellery (04/10)
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#8 of 51 Old 10-20-2006, 10:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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at first, meaning the months before we were even TTC, I wanted to know no matter what, I was like making deals with DH, telling him he could name the babies whatever he wanted. Well, middle names anyway. But now, I dont know,I guess I switched sides. I love the idea of being in my bed and having the baby come out. And THEN being told whether my precious one is a boy or a girl. It will add to the joy, because it wont matter to use what it is, it will just be exciting to see it it will be a Jack or a Eleanor.
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#9 of 51 Old 10-20-2006, 10:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleAnnette View Post
We don't plan to have u/s unless medically necessary, so probably not.

same here. And for some reason, I would feel weird knowing. I don't know why.

Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)  

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#10 of 51 Old 10-20-2006, 10:41 PM
 
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Yep! Sooooo going to find out if baby will let us. I'm not good at waiting... or suprises... and I enjoy doing the shopping for gender specific clothing and cute things for the nursery.
I dont think there is anything wrong or "nuts" about not finding out... to each there own!

Mommy to Two
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#11 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 01:42 AM
 
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I am not good at waiting either...I'm the one who still peeks at xmas presents! But we've never found out the sex of our babies because we don't do ultrasounds. For me, it's just part of the whole experience that you meet them when they are born.

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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#12 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 01:44 AM
 
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No Way! One of my favorite parts of the birthing experience is to see what we had. I saw first w/ DD and DH saw first w/ DS. I love surprises and don't mind waiting. We like to make long lists of names and we don't name until after we've met and held our new one.
I can hardly wait to see what our new one will be - boy or girl. I think it adds to the ecstatic birthing experience, at least it has for us.

Wife to my wonderful Pablo, mum to Roo 8/10/01, Vin 1/10/07, Bug 6/3/07, Butterbean 12/12/09
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#13 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 07:49 AM
 
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I did NOT want to know with DS. I wasn't even sure I wanted an u/s, but we did decide to have that. I told everyone I met in the office that day, "We don't want to know. Don't tell us the sex!"

Actually, DH *did* want to know, but I wouldn't let them tell him either. My uterus, my perogative.

And people do act like you are weird. :P to them! They also want to know what names you've picked out, and I wouldn't share those either, unless they were already discarded from our list. We went to the hospital with a list of about 5 girls' names and 7 boys' names. I needed to meet my son before I could name him.

But this time I am less sure I will do this. Hmm...

First of all, the week before the u/s visit, I told DS in utero (repeatedly) that we were going to be peeking at him, and he should cover himself if he didn't want anyone to see anything. I felt like he deserved to know what was coming and prepare himself.

So I ended up feeling so strongly that I could communicate with my unborn child that it didn't seem like as much of an intrusion as I was worried it would be.

So if we do an u/s this time, and if I tell this little babe about it ahead of time so s/he can decide whether to show off or keep it private, maybe I will find out.

(It might just be that I have a stronger gender preference this time due to already having a son and hoping I will have a daughter, too. Still, I mostly think I am just feeling more relaxed about the intrusion. We'll see...)

--willo
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#14 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 08:30 AM
 
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It was very uncommon, in the city where I had my first three children, for people to find out the sex of the baby. At least, that's what I heard. I had a couple of u/s with D, and no one ever mentioned the possibility of us asking about the sex. And I heard from other pg/new moms that Drs didn't like revealing the sex either because they didn't want to get "trouble" from them if they were wrong, or because they didn't want abortions based on gender. That's just what I've heard, though. With S, we had one u/s, and had a mw that time. I remember saying we didn't want to know the sex, but I think she said they don't really look for it or put it in the report. (Interestingly, if there was anything they do look for with the u/s that we didn't want to know, she had to specify on there that it not be included in the report. Otherwise, she was bound to tell us, though the u/s tech was not bound to tell us or her. That's my understanding, anyway.) With M, we didn't have an u/s.

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#15 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 11:24 AM
 
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I don't really want to know. I'd rather avoid ultrasounds altogether and will only agree to one to reassure my otherwise great midwife, that everything really is fine inside my 41 year-old, first-time mom-to-be body. Only my age puts any risk factors for home birth on my chart. Geez, I'm healthier than many of my 20-something students!

My DH is on the fence. Sometimes he wants to know and other times he really thinks about what I've expressed and says he thinks I some good points. He'll go along with me if that's what I want.

Even if we did choose to find out, we would tell our friends and family that we don't know. I hate the blue for boys, pink for girls regimen and we're hoping to raise this child without too much of a socially forced gender role.
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#16 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 01:09 PM
 
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I don't want to know, but DH has eluded to wanting to know. I'm not even sure I want to do an u/s at all at this point, but I might change my mind.
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#17 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 01:31 PM
 
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Right now I will say no We found out with DD even though my mama intution told me she is girl! I don't think DH wants to know...not yet anyway
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#18 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 02:02 PM
 
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Dh wants to know, but I think I want it to be a surprise this time. With my twin sister having 2 boys and me and my boy, I have a feeling this next one will be a boy too. But if I wait until the birth I just may be surprised with a girl.

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#19 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 02:20 PM
 
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I'm not sure. We didn't find out with DD and both enjoyed not knowing until the end. We said we would never find out. Well DH is still sticking to that but I'm on the fence. I kind of want to know. It would be fun telling DD she is going to have a brother or is going to have a sister. It would be fun to be able to call the baby by its name before its born. We don't have anything to buy this time to keep me busy and excited so I am thinking it would be fun to know. Maybe I could pick up some clothes then.
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#20 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 03:20 PM
 
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Nope, not finding out! Hoping to not even have an ultrasound this time around.

We didn't find out with DS and it was one of the most amazing memories of my life having DH practically shriek with joy "It's a Boy!" as I pushed him out. The nursery was neutral and I bought a set of boy clothing and a set of girl clothing so that all my bases were covered. No biggie getting prepared for either sex!
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#21 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 03:26 PM
 
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we didn't find out w/ #1 and it was pretty exciting but this time we'd like to find out. try it both way and see which is better. although if i don't get hooked up w/ health insurance then we won't be doing any unnessesary ultrasounds.
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#22 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 03:37 PM
 
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We didn't find out with DD (although I was so sure it was a girl I didn't even mind that our "final" choice for a boy name was one I didn't really like!).

It was fun having the surprise -- DH made sure that he was the one who told me "It's a girl!".

I don't think we'll find out this time, either. I'm cool with waiting -- I *never* peek at xmas gifts!!!
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#23 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 04:32 PM
 
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We found out with our 1st and 3rd babies, but our 2nd was a surprise (didn't have an ultrasound with her). We're kind of leaning toward being surprised this time. I'm not sure we'll even be having an ultrasound.

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#24 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 04:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by chinaKat View Post
We didn't find out with DD (although I was so sure it was a girl I didn't even mind that our "final" choice for a boy name was one I didn't really like!).
That's how I was with our first (well, before we found out she was a girl when I went into ptl at 32 weeks and had an u/s). I didn't like our boy name, but I was so sure it was a girl I didn't care. Same with our second. I don't feel the need to do much thinking on boy names this time either, but I did mention to DH that we weren't going to use "the" boy name if this one is a boy so maybe my intuition is telling me it might matter this time . . . or maybe I'm just tired of hearing that name . . . hmmmmmmm . . . guess we'll find out in january or june.

Mama to three sweet girls (a dramatic, chatty 10yo, a bouncy, dynamo of a 7yo, and a delightful, whimsical 3.5yo)
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#25 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 06:12 PM
 
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I want to know....but I'm also wanting to take advantage of the one time in my life when I can experience the ultimate surprise.

My compromise is that during our midway u/s, I'll tell the tech that they should look at everything they need to....but they don't need to stop over that area to tell us what we're having. If I happen to see something I recognize during the course of the u/s, then fair enough! If I don't, then we'll have a nice surprise!

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#26 of 51 Old 10-21-2006, 07:45 PM
 
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We didn't have an u/s with our first dd but I'm not the type who's good at waiting for surprises. I soooo wanted to know but just didn't want or need an u/s. This time.......hmmmmm?.........I so want to know again. But I keep hearing dh tell people we won't find out again because we don't want an unnecessary u/s. So I guess it'll be a surprise again.

It's funny because at the birth it took us a few minutes to remember to look to see what we had.....the cord was covering. All that impatience and I wasn't even thinking about the sex.

I should point out that EVERYONE thought I was carrying a boy, low and in front......but we didn't even have a boy name at birth and turns out she was a girl.
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#27 of 51 Old 10-22-2006, 01:01 AM
 
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I had one ultrasound each with my first two and had no idea what their gender's were. I like the one ultrasound to catch potential medical problems. Anyways this time I am tempted to find out! We will keep it private and not tell anyone though. My daughter wants a baby sister so desperately that I would kind of like to be prepared either way. We are warning her of course that you don't get to choose and she will love a new baby no matter what but still, I kind of want to know. Then I can also decide what to do with all the baby girl clothes I have been hanging on to!
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#28 of 51 Old 10-22-2006, 01:47 AM
 
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Nope! DS was a surprise and we want this one to be, also!

Happily married with two sweet boys (8/04 and 6/07) bikenew.gifsleepytime.gifand one sweet baby girl born en caul (2/10)! babygirl.gif
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#29 of 51 Old 10-22-2006, 01:55 AM
 
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Nope. We only used the doppler for the heartbeat with dd, and we have no plans for a picture U/S this time around either If we HAD to have an ultrasound (if my midwife, who never recommends U/S's recommended one) then we would find out, but that's highly unlikely...

love and peace.

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#30 of 51 Old 10-22-2006, 04:00 AM
 
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DH doesn't want to this time. He just wants to find out when baby gets here. I just don't think I could wait that long. I'm so curious, I want to know that way when I think of baby I can know how to think of him/her.

DH's cousin has 3 kids and didn't find out with any of them (all girls). Also, I'd rather buy blue or pink clothes instead of neutral because then there is less confusion after baby is born. If you dress your baby in pink or blue you get less mix up and less questions on whether your baby is a boy or a girl.

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