*sigh* another cruddy prenatal visit *sigh* - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 05-02-2007, 03:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel like I'm getting such minimal care, which was okay with my last child, but I want someone to care. : I'm very needy right now I don't even know if my expectations are normal.

Do your MW visits last between 10 and 14 minutes? Is that normal? Shouldn't they at least ask the results of when I peed on the stick? Why have me do it? How do they know I'm not already dilated a bit- It seems to happen a lot with twins right?

I did have an ultrasound today which was nice since I haven't had one since January and am feeling neurotic. Both babes are vertex (Yeah!) and they are about 1 pound apart in weight. (5 lb 14 ounces and 4 lb 15 oz- I know it is just a guesstimate) I'm happy to know my 70 pound weight gain is going somewhere.

But ugh- to be asked "how are you doing?" would be so sweet! Or to be asked if I want to talk about ptl symptoms or whatever. Not just "Nice to see you. Let's get you in and out and on your way!"

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#2 of 13 Old 05-02-2007, 04:11 PM
 
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I'm sorry you feel like you are not getting the proper care! On my end, I see a CNMW and my visits are pretty short unless I ask a bunch of questions or if I'm acting a bit nervous about a particular part of pregnancy.

Is there a chance you are not being as vocal as you could be? Maybe you need to give your MW a call and let her know you are unhappy. Tell her you would appreciate if she could take a little more time for you on a personal level and that since labor is approaching you would appreciate if she would take some extra time each visit and discuss these topis as well... especially since you are having twins and could probably use the extra support.

As far as dialation is concerned... I have not yet been checked either. Perhaps they are just trying to stay as inivasive as possible... or perhaps there is no real need to see if you're dialate yet, kwim?

Remember... your MW and all other care providers "work for you" (as my mw says)..... you deserve the best care you can get from them and if you have a problem or an issue with them it is important to speak up.
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#3 of 13 Old 05-02-2007, 04:17 PM
 
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Hmm, that doesn't sound right to me. Last time, I had a MW and she was so abrupt and hurried and always made me feel rushed, even when I was in labor. :

This time, I'm seeing the most mainstream OB you can imagine, and he is patient, and thoughtful and takes his time, and schedules his appts far enough apart that I rarely spend anytime in the waiting room.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time, and I hope that they treat you better next time.
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#4 of 13 Old 05-02-2007, 05:10 PM
 
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I'm seeing a midwife practice at a hospital-affiliated birth center this time, and I saw a family practitioner (MD) with my first pregnancy.

I think, if I didn't generally have a lot to say, that my mw appts would be quite short as well. (I keep a written list of thoughts/questions between each appointment, and I also just tend to babble when I'm nervous, like at medicl appointments.) Partly because I have already experienced doctor's office pre-natal appointments, I find it a little shocking at times how little they actually *DO* to me at a mw appt! I walk in and give my name. I'm given my folder and take it to the restroom where I empty my bladder and record my own weight. Then I go into an exam room for about 10 minutes with the mw who measures my tummy, listens with the doppler, and listens to whatever I have to say.

My doctor last time had me pee in a cup each time to check whatever it is they check, and she did lots and lots of internal exams (as I recall it, it was almost every visit, but that could be a poor recollection.)

I certainly think it is worth having a discussion with your mw about how you are feeling, though I am the kind of person who would HATE having that discussion myself. Even just coming in with a list of things you would really like to talk about might get you a level of care that seems more appropriate to you.

I think, sometimes, when they treat pregnancy as so "normal" and "natural", it can result in some of us feeling like things are being taken TOO lightly. (I speak for people like myself who tend to be paranoid, I think!)

I hope things get better. And, remember, it is never too late to shop around for a new care provider if you really think it is a bad fit!

--willo
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#5 of 13 Old 05-02-2007, 05:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by willoLevin View Post
... I find it a little shocking at times how little they actually *DO* to me at a mw appt! I walk in and give my name. I'm given my folder and take it to the restroom where I empty my bladder and record my own weight. Then I go into an exam room for about 10 minutes with the mw who measures my tummy, listens with the doppler, and listens to whatever I have to say.
These are my appointments also... except a nurse checks my weight and I pee in a cup each time... sometimes they check my cup after my visit so it is never discussed really.

Just thought I would mention this if it is at all reassuring.
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#6 of 13 Old 05-02-2007, 05:32 PM
 
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Your expectations are normal, you should be getting more. You shouldn't HAVE to ask for a little more attention, but definitely speak up next time and see if that helps. My visits are more like half hour - hour, and my mw make a point of telling dh how great my pee is. I hope it gets better! Congrats on your twins!!
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#7 of 13 Old 05-02-2007, 05:56 PM
 
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My hb midwife appts are ususally 45min to an hour. Though what you describe is what I had with the OB I had with my first child. Though this time, they never check my pee unless I am having symptoms of a problem and really its a very non-invasive kind of care. I'm weighted, measured, check baby's heartbeat and talk about anything I have going on. I always make a point of taking a list of questions or issues to discuss with me- so I guess that lengthens my visits going over my list.

Laura, Mama to Mya 7/02, Ian 6/07 and Anna 8/09
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#8 of 13 Old 05-02-2007, 08:28 PM
 
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Hmmm...last time I saw a family practice (two different docs) and my visits were usually about 30-45 minutes. A peed in a cup and left it for the nurse, the nurse took my BP reading and weight, and then I saw one of the two doctors to chat and listen to the babe on the doppler.

This time I see a husband-wife OB team and my appointments take about an hour. I pee in a cup and do my own reading, take my own weight, and then a nurse does my BP reading. After I chat with the nurse for a while I see one of the two OBs to discuss whatever happens to be going on...they take notes in my chart, ask questions, answer questions, make jokes, etc. I honestly LOVE this practice.

I wonder if for some reason your care provider thinks you want a really quick In/out type experience? Maybe just let them know that you're looking for more time with them...bring questions, get comfy, and keep them talking till YOU feel satisfied!

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#9 of 13 Old 05-03-2007, 03:28 AM
 
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When I was pregnant with my son it was like that, it was CNMs that I saw. Very brief visits. It's a total change with my homebirth midwife... hour long appointments, and I'm encouraged to bring my 3 year old along as well so she can get to know him. Makes a world of difference!

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#10 of 13 Old 05-04-2007, 02:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Now that I look back I realize I am being overly emotional. (What's new!!??) My pg is perfectly fine medically, just because I feel awful doesn't mean I actually need extra care, maybe just extra sleep! I'm sure they think that since this is child #3 and #4 that I know what I'm doing and don't need much hand holding.

I knew a homebirth MW would spend more time with me, but that wasn't an option for me. I've never had an OB so I don't really know how that works. Thanks for the support.

Me.  With 1 spouse, 4 kids, 16 chickens, 74 matchbox cars, 968,562+ legos, a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, a washing machine waiting to be filled and a lost cup of tea in the house.

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#11 of 13 Old 05-04-2007, 03:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mumm View Post
Now that I look back I realize I am being overly emotional. (What's new!!??) My pg is perfectly fine medically, just because I feel awful doesn't mean I actually need extra care, maybe just extra sleep! I'm sure they think that since this is child #3 and #4 that I know what I'm doing and don't need much hand holding.

I knew a homebirth MW would spend more time with me, but that wasn't an option for me. I've never had an OB so I don't really know how that works. Thanks for the support.
That's what so great about these forums. There is nothing wrong with needing a little extra hand-holding and it is SO nice to be able to come here and get the little (or a lot!) extra that I need--I think it's taken a lot of pressure off the people who are physically represented in my life.

Come and be needy and unashamed with the rest of us!

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#12 of 13 Old 05-04-2007, 03:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ericswifey27 View Post
When I was pregnant with my son it was like that, it was CNMs that I saw. Very brief visits. It's a total change with my homebirth midwife... hour long appointments, and I'm encouraged to bring my 3 year old along as well so she can get to know him. Makes a world of difference!

This is my experience as well. My CNM's barely spent 10 minutes with me! At the time I thought it must be normal, however it does sound a little lacking for someone having twins though! Perhaps OP could write some questions concerns for discussion and see if maybe they will open up a little more?
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#13 of 13 Old 05-05-2007, 01:29 AM
 
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I also agree that there is a, little lagging for someone having twins. My mw visits are about an hour each time, and although I do not get my dilation checked, or a pee test, she measures me, tells me baby's position, and I weigh myself. I love the question list idea......write them down and as you walk in say, "I have all these questions, and need them answered so I feel more secure in the birth..."


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