Transition from 1 child to 2 - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 05-11-2007, 04:56 PM - Thread Starter
Mab
 
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I've been feeling anxious about going from 1 to 2, meaning the first months transition. My first is 4.4 and i'm used to him doing his thing...i mean, i sah so we spent lots of time together, but he being 4 makes things already settled.. I mean things like I'm here writing in mdc and he's napping, we got our rythm settled, and i'm anxious about life becoming a mess . I guess I'm just asking for other mamas experiences, tips for that transition, similar feelings, etc.

thanks a lot!
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#2 of 7 Old 05-11-2007, 06:02 PM
 
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I don't have any advice to give, just that I understand the feelings. Although my ds is only 2, I feel like I have forgotten what it is like to have a new baby, and really feeling like I won't be able to give the next one as much attention as ds got, feeling sad baby #2 might be short changed. I think in the end we will find a routine and figure out how to make it work, I mean we transitioned to one which was huge, we can do it again.

Molly, Mama, living in the burbs with a beehive and chicken coop,  herb student, gardener, crunchy and preggers with #3, due Nov 4th.flower.gif
The fruit of the spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, gentleness and self control.:
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#3 of 7 Old 05-11-2007, 06:07 PM
 
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Mom to Andrew (March 1, 2004), Cameron (July 19, 2007) and #3 due in early June.
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#4 of 7 Old 05-11-2007, 06:24 PM
 
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subbing...dd just turned 2 last month and I'm really conflicted about bringing the new babe into the family. I see both the wonderful side of siblings and the fact that both the new babe and my toddler are going to lose or miss out on certain other wonderful things...so I'm both happy and sad if that makes sense.

Having watched a few friends make the transition from 1 to 2 I have a pretty good idea of what NOT to do (these are very mainstream friends and the transition did NOT go well in either case...to the point that one couple divorced) but I hope to learn some positive transition ideas!

There's a thread I've been lurking in toddlers...the title is something like "mamas of a toddler and a newborn" or something like that. It has some great ideas and support for mamas during the tough early weeks of insanity and schedule shifting!

ETA- here's the thread... http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=632237

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#5 of 7 Old 05-11-2007, 07:28 PM
 
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Hi. No advice coming from me but I understand how you feel. I'm getting ready for baby #2 arriving in the next couple of weeks and dd will be two in August. I'm worried about the transition too. I'm just trying to get everything in order as much as I can. I cooked meals to freeze for postpartum. I've bought all the baby stuff and set up "stations" in the house (my room, nursery, and living room) for nursing and diaper changes. I bought disposable plates, cups, utensils, and napkins for after the baby : I know its bad for the environment but I may need it to stay sane after the baby. I've also arranged for dh to have a week off (it'll only be 2-3 days at home after hospital though) and for my sister to stay during the day some during the 1st few weeks. I've arranged for my mother and sister to keep dd while I'm in the hospital too. Hopefully it'll help. Maybe you could do some of that stuff too to help or at least give you less to do when baby comes. Good luck!
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#6 of 7 Old 05-11-2007, 09:25 PM
 
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I think you have a lot going for you with your son being over 4. He can be helpful and get you things like diapers and wipes and a bottle of water and can take care of some things for himself like drinks or snacks if you have them where he can reach.

I have a dd who is 4, and she is so excited about the baby! Ds is 2.5 and I don't think he really has any idea what he's in for.

As far as tips for the transition, I would say it really helps if your DH can take some time off from work to help right after the birth and if you have someone else like your mom who can help too. Then someone can still give your ds one on one time while you are in the very early stages of healing pp and bonding with the new baby. As much as you can, I would try to stick to the big parts of his routine like naps or bedtime. And if the babe is snoozing out of your arms, you can make sure to have some special time alone with ds. Also, he can be included in a lot of the baby care things since he is a bit older, I think that will help too -- he won't be left out, he can be a big part of helping take care of the new baby.

HTH!

Baking mama to dd (7.5), ds (6), ds (3.5) and someone new in April
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#7 of 7 Old 05-12-2007, 12:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post


Thanks for this link.

I am most worried about night time. DD is 3 1/2 and still wakes up a lot in the night, and has a hard time getting herself back to sleep. Everytime the baby wakes up, I am sure she will wake up. And I am thinking she might wake the baby up a few times too! How do I get them both to go back to sleep at the same time? And, we fit pretty well in our family bed right now. Wondering where #2 is going to fit.

I am preparing myself for some pretty shaky first weeks, especially at night.
Maybe DD will start napping again !!

Narnia, mother of Anorien (10/03) and Ford (5/07)
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