Friday seemed like any other day, I went out to water my garden while my husband and son went to the park and wouldn't you know it those contractions changed. I called the midwife, husband and doula and had everyone come back. Still they were nothing too major I kept hanging out in my yard listening to Dolly Parton and Dar Williams. It felt so good to walk in the sun in the grass and know that things were starting. I went inside to hang out on the birth ball. I tried to take my usual nap but the contractions when they did come would not let me sleep. Still I was prepared for the long haul as Sam was 39 hours of labor before the c-section. Then I went upstairs around 3:30 pm to pee and had NO desire to come back down. All I wanted to do was stand in the door ways and lean on my husband. I was so discouraged though I had no idea how I was going to make it through another 10 or 12 hours of labor.
Finally, my MW said I could get in the tub after 2 more contractions. Oh heaven! I remembered this from last time! In the tub again I was at a loss how I would make it hours more. I went through the I cannot do this, I want a nap, etc. I have seen that so many times as a doula but it does not register that means you are close when you are in it! My MW checked me and I was complete! As I started to push I had to really turn off the hospital voices from work telling me what to do and my husband was great, his job was to tell me to get out of my head. Because in truth, it does not matter what you know in the moment, you have to turn it off. I would go back and forth between "I can't do this" to saying over and over " I can do this" I floated I pushed, when I finally got into a squat at my MW's suggestion- WOW!!! I felt the bag break under my fingers, I felt his head, I felt it come out and could feel his little ears! I had the very full sensation of having a pelvis full of baby. Then as I pushed I felt the shrug, shrug of his shoulders sliding out, I was aware of all the parts of his body! Oh we lost it!
So he weighed in at 9lbs, 15 oz, 14 1/2 head, 17 inch shoulder, 14 inch chest, 23 inches long- NO TEARS!!! 2 -2 1/2 hours of active labor, 1 hour of that pushing. What an amazing experience and worth every bit of effort. It is so weird that once I was in labor all thoughts of vbac vanished from my mind. And though I am feeling still very acutely how much work went into to this birth from the beginning of the pregnancy, how very simple it really was. The complexities are not within, they are what must be undone after they have been programmed and drilled into us from others.
Thanks to everyone who supported me! Pics to come soon!
Congrats on the wonderful HBAC and beautiful babe...enjoy your baby moon!
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mama to (4/05), (6/07vbac), (8/09vbac), and (9/11vbac)
JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to
Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!