Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Schenectady, NY
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I just wanted to pop in and say that I miss you all very much. Ellya just had her third birthday yesterday and Ceres is the qiuetest, sweetest baby! Breast feeding is going well and Ellya is adjusting to the baby well....
After lots more back and fourth with DExP, he looked like he had made a decision and finally stuck to it. We moved back home with him and out of my mom's house. After insisting to every one that he meant it this time and thus "burning my brideges" (in a sense) with my mom he messed things up all over again. He went out drinking with a few guy friends and while they were out the designated driver and DEXP went and picked up Heidi for a night out of drinking.
It's truely really over now. I dropped off her stuff at her house the other night (it was STILL at my house) and thus her aunt and uncle (whom she lives with) are kicking her out of her house. (not really sure why, I suppose they dissapprove of what she is doing) DEXP was so mad at me for dropping off the stuff and getting her kicked out that he told me he would pay the rent and that he was leaving...... what a nice thing to tell me on our daughters birthday. I went off at him. (not infront of the kids) but I went off and DID NOT hold back this time. I told him how I really felt about him, how selfish he was and how much a crappy father he was acting like for the horrible choices he was making and how it was affecting his kids. There was much yelling involved.
Ultimately he/we decided that he would stay in the apartment with us, get his own bed (and his own room, he will have the office) and support myself and the girls untill the lease is up and we would decide what to do. Not the best situation all around.... but.... the girls will both have their own rooms, as will I and DexP. I will start working and save every blessed penny I make so that I can support us when it's time to move on. At least now, he's finally made a decision to help with the kids... to be there with Ceres in her first few months and establish that bond that is so important.
::sigh:: I'm tired, I depressed, I stressed beyond my woldest imagination and I'm missing you all terribly! Hope every one is doing well and when I get the internet up and running at home I will try to check in a little more often.
Congrats to all the Mama's who have had their babies and I never congratulated. Hope every one is doing well and having a peaceful first month with their new little life.
Blessed Be every one,
I miss you all!