Okay, now help me with this important decision! - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-27-2007, 05:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all your help with the circ issue. Now I have one more huge, life-altering decision that I still need to make. (Man, I have waited waaay too long to decide this stuff!) Here goes:

If you were me, would you have your tubes tied?

DH and I are only 24, so that's one thing holding me back. I keep thinking about how young 24 years old is to make such a permanent decision.

The other negative is that I'm going to be trying to learn to breastfeed and taking care of three young children immediately after the birth, so I won't have much of a chance to recover from a painful procedure. I don't know how lengthy & painful the recovery from a tubal is, because I've gotten conflicting opinions from the only two people I know in real life who've had it done.

But we *can't* have another baby. Seriously. This is the end of the baby-making road for us. I've always wanted three kids, and now I've got three. After all the problems we've had with this pregnancy, even I had wanted another, I just couldn't go through this again. So we are 100% sure we don't want another. I am so, so scared that if I just do an IUD, I will either (a) get pregnant before I can get it put in (I have to wait until at least 8 weeks postpartum because of a LEEP procedure I have to have done at 8 weeks PP), or (b) get pregnant even while using it. I get pregnant so, so easily (my track record = three surprises!), and I absolutely would crawl into a hole and die if I got pregnant again immediately after this babe is born.

So what do you think? Would you have the procedure done, or no? Any other suggestions for me?
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Old 06-27-2007, 05:47 PM
 
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My vote would be no. I was in the same exact situation when I had my third. First, you are very, very young and that is a very, very permanent decision. It's major surgery for a woman to go through and I've heard nothing but negative things about having it done immediately after childbirth. I've also heard it makes things wonky at times, little things nothing major. I'm considering getting the mirena IUD myself. It's pretty foolproof... and the percentage is similar to sterilisation. I'm not a fan of anything hormonal and eventhough this does have hormones in it it's pretty local (supposedly) and not systemic, meaning it doesn't effect your pituatary gland. Just some food for thought and if you google mirena IUD/IUC you'll see the list of facts for it... I may have gotten a few mixed up myself.

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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Old 06-27-2007, 05:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, and I should mention that I can't take artificial hormones (via BCP or shots). They make me horribly nauseated. Not sure how the Mirena would affect me. The IUD I was planning to get was the Paragard, which is hormone-free.
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Old 06-27-2007, 05:53 PM
 
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I'm 37 and definitely done having babies after this one. I'm going to get the Mirena IUD instead of a tubal at this time. My best friend's (now ex) wife had a tubal immediately after their daughter was born and ended up getting pregnant again 2 years later. Apparently, the risk of things growing back together is greater if you get the tubal done right after birth while your body is in healing mode. I'm interested in Essure, but feel it's still too new for me to jump on that bandwagon. Maybe when the IUD is ready to be replaced.

So my answer is: No and I've got 13 years on you.
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Old 06-27-2007, 05:53 PM
 
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THe complications from the paraguard are a bit extreme for my liking. I suppose that happens with anything though. I just know the cramping is supposedly pretty bad and heavy bleeding is fairly common, I already have both of those!

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

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Old 06-27-2007, 05:53 PM
 
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I would say no, you'll be recovering from enough. What about dh getting his tied? It is a much less involved procedure.
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Old 06-27-2007, 06:11 PM
 
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I am only 27. This will be our 4th baby. I am so done. He is so done.
He is getting a vasectomy. I'm a little perturbed that he hasn't already made the appointment, but we have talked and talked and I know that he is 100% serious about no more babies too.
I am almost tempted to get Mirena again. I absolutely loved it. However, if I do or don't, he is still getting fixed because I am serious about no more babies.
I have put myself through 4 pregnancies and the wonderful HG that went with 3 of them (did not have it with the miscarriage). It is his turn and I am in no way kidding about this.
I will understand if he needs a little babying for a couple of days after his surgery if that's what it will take!

Mama to my own amazing children..student midwife..home birth activist..and gestational surrogate-twin boys weighing 7lbs3oz & 8lbs4oz...vaginal, unmedicated forced induction @ 38w5d
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Old 06-27-2007, 06:15 PM
 
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I haven't actually got an opinion, but wanted to throw out there that vasectomies have a high failure rate as well. We looked into that and my DH is scared of doing it because of the small risk that there is irreversible pain.

We know 2 couples who had babies after vasectomy.
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Old 06-27-2007, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, we know an older couple (in their late 40's) who have a 1-year-old conceived 10 years after the husband had a vasectomy.
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Old 06-27-2007, 06:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AuntG View Post
I haven't actually got an opinion, but wanted to throw out there that vasectomies have a high failure rate as well. We looked into that and my DH is scared of doing it because of the small risk that there is irreversible pain.

We know 2 couples who had babies after vasectomy.
I quit bugging my dh about getting a vasectomy after hearing about the pain risk. I couldn't live with myself if that happened to him.

My best friend (samd one talked about above) got his GF pregnant last fall after having had a vasectomy.
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Old 06-27-2007, 07:37 PM
 
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I hear the vasectomy fail rate is mostly for those men who do not GO BACK AND GET TESTED to see if they are in fact sterile. If you test sterile after the procedure, then the fail rate is very low.

Getting your tubes tied is abdomanal surgury, with the risks that go with surgery. My Dad is an anesethiologist (I know-sp!) and after spending his career in the operating room he wouldn't let anyone in the family get surgry unless it was nessesary!
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Old 06-27-2007, 08:06 PM
 
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In your situation, I'd probably get the IUD, use condoms and chart. (Wait, does charting work with an IUD?) That's not a long term option, but it would buy you a little time and distance and then you could decide. Good luck with whatever you end up doing!
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Old 06-27-2007, 11:37 PM
 
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havent read any other responses.
i will NOT get my tubes tied.
DH wants the big V.
i am ok with that.
its like 98% reversable.
but i think we will stick with these two. and not get it reversed
its easier to reverse the V than it is a tubal.
if he isnt willing to be snipped then he could be the one responsible for learning about NFP and temping you every morning and charting.

treehugger.gif )O( unschooling, witchy mum to Addy(7) and Niamh(4)
Living with an invisible chronic illness.
Fat and hairy. And happy with both *( o Y o )*
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Old 06-28-2007, 12:40 AM
 
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no, i wouldn't get my tubes tied, i'm 28 and this is #3.

we feel we're done so dh is getting a vasectomy.
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Old 06-28-2007, 12:56 AM
 
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I'm not getting my tubes tied. You are sooo young too, so I wouldn;t consider permanent birth control. I didn't think I'd have any more kids, and here I am on the third kid, in the second generation.

Of course, now I'm for sure done so DH is getting a vasectomy. His appt is already scheduled for the end of August and I plan to make sure he does the folllow-up appt to make SURE he's infertile. He's a-ok with this as 3 kids for him is plenty. He's 31 though (I'm 37).
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Old 06-28-2007, 01:04 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaSpruce View Post
I would say no, you'll be recovering from enough. What about dh getting his tied? It is a much less involved procedure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ahdoula View Post
I hear the vasectomy fail rate is mostly for those men who do not GO BACK AND GET TESTED to see if they are in fact sterile. If you test sterile after the procedure, then the fail rate is very low.

Getting your tubes tied is abdomanal surgury, with the risks that go with surgery. My Dad is an anesethiologist (I know-sp!) and after spending his career in the operating room he wouldn't let anyone in the family get surgry unless it was nessesary!
What they said! I think if anyone is going to get permanent birth control, it should be the man IMO. We go through pregnancy and birth one, two, three times (even though I am one of those crazy people who love it all); I think they can handle an in-office procedure and a bag of frozen peas...

So I vote no. Even if you are done having kids.
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Old 06-28-2007, 02:25 AM
 
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We're done after this (though we do occasionally wonder what it'd be like to have 3...). I wouldn't consider getting my tubes tied, though, unless I were having a c-section and they were already in there and I was already facing recovery from abdominal surgery. I'm planning on getting the Mirena but we're going to wait a little while (afraid it will jump-start my cycles, and last time I had 19 mos before getting my 1st ppaf, but we'll use condoms until then). I'd be happy if DH got a v but he's not so sure and I think he needs to be 100% on board for anything permanent-- especially if it's done to his body! I know there are stories of people getting pg with an IUD, but it still seems pretty rare, and there doesn't seem to be any form of bc that does not have at least some failure rate...

Mommy to two boys, ages 4 and 6.

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