2 under 2, how are we dealing? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 09-01-2007, 08:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DS1 is 17 months, and DS2 is 3 days old. Eek! The trouble has started already!

DS1 is NOT happy about having a baby in the house, and he's been a complete jerk about everything since we had DS2. He slaps us, throws things, throws tantrums over EVERYTHING, and is constantly looking to get into trouble. I know it's for attention, but I'm having a hard time dealing with it.

Anyone else?

Danell - Craft Savvy mama to Evan (3/31/06) and Andre (8/29/07)
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#2 of 13 Old 09-03-2007, 02:04 PM
 
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I just couldn't read and not give a . My first two are 16 months apart, but my older was such a mellow guy, I was really lucky. Not that it wasn't hard, but he was ok with sharing for the new baby...I still nursed him too, so I think that might have helped a little. Hang in there, it does get easier!!

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#3 of 13 Old 09-03-2007, 09:46 PM
 
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nak

I am there with you. DS is 22 months and dd is 1 month. Crazy times trying to entertain him while i nurse. He has started hitting, getting into everything, etc!! I know it doesn't help that I am so tired and have limited patience. Play groups have helped us. That and going for long, aimless walks.

Happy wife to DH superhero.gifand mama to DS signcirc1.gif11/05 and DD energy.gif8/07.
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#4 of 13 Old 09-04-2007, 01:42 AM
 
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DS1 is 23 months, and DS2 is 3.5 weeks. DS1 is incredibly mellow, so he's been absolutely great - no jealousy or aggression. He's very affectionate towards the baby. It's ME who's having a hard time - DS2 is a bit high-needs so he's always in arms, being worn, or nursing, which limits what I can do with DS1. I feel incredibly guilty that we chose to bring a new baby into the family while our first was so young. It's rare these days that I can give DS1 100% of my attention. :

A, wife to R and mom to 3 boys: D~ 10/05, J~ 8/07, and B~ 12/09 and welcoming a new little one in May 2015
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#5 of 13 Old 09-04-2007, 01:05 PM
 
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I have 3-3w & under.

We've only been home for a day, but things are going pretty well. I think it helps that ds2 (21 months) has his big brother to occupy him. Both of my older boys have been doing really well, they are very affectionate and nice.

Its definitely hard finding enough time for everything though!

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#6 of 13 Old 09-04-2007, 02:30 PM
 
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things were really, really bad with ds1 for about 2 weeks. he was angry and violent nonstop. (there are 20 mos between the 2 of them) but he was gentle with the baby, it didn't make sense. i was stressed and overwhelmed and had no idea what to do. then i had a realization. every time i reacted to ds1's behavior i was pushing him away, sometimes literally. it's hard not to when the little dude is physically attacking me over and over. but my tone and body language were telling him again and again that i wanted him to go away. so he attacked me more and more because he was desperate not to lose me. as soon as i figured this out i started disciplining him in a way that brought him closer. when he hit i would hold him close and look him in the eye and tell him that hitting is not ok, but i love him. it literally took 10 minutes of this before his attitude changed. we still have lots of incidents where he isn't gentle with the baby or lashes out at me, but i no longer want to walk out on him. it's so much better.

now, if i could just get him to use the potty...
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#7 of 13 Old 09-04-2007, 02:38 PM
 
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Well DD just turned two so I don't actually belong in this group anymore but mine are 22mo apart. The first few weeks at home were rough. Now we are starting to find a groove again and DD is adjusting to being a big sis so its getting better. I'm hoping that the weather cools off soon so we can start playgroups again. That would make life much easier. Its keeping the oldest entertained that I have most trouble with.
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#8 of 13 Old 09-04-2007, 02:42 PM
 
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My older 2 are 14 months apart. It was really hard at first! But what worked for us was that when ds needed to nurse, dd got to sit up on the chair and we read stories. Then when he went to sleep, I put him in the sling and took her outside to play. Sometimes it was just walks around the block, sometimes we went to the park. She slept with us and I would get ds to sleep first and then read to her and snuggle her to sleep. It does get easier. Ds and the new baby will be about 16-17 months apart (depending on when the baby is born). Dd will be 2 1/2. It should be interesting considering how different dd and ds are personality wise.

Me : DD 5/05: DS1 7/06 : DS2 11/07: DS3 3/10
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#9 of 13 Old 09-04-2007, 04:24 PM
 
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i have 2 under 3 and im not handling it so well....my older dd still going to daycare (i have to pay to hold her spot, so i send her most days even if it's for lunch and naptime) but when she is here sometimes she drives me insane.....i swear dd1 will listen to anyone on the planet except me
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#10 of 13 Old 09-11-2007, 07:44 PM
 
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mornings are toughest for me. ds is cranky till he gets his breakfast, but now i have a baby that wants to nurse first thing too. i've been reduced to letting ds watch tv so that he'll be happy and occupied while i nurse dd and make breakfast.

mama to DS born 9/7/05, DD born 8/20/07, DS born 9/4/10 and DS born 11/26/13


Loving our chaotic, crunchy, homeschooling life!
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#11 of 13 Old 09-11-2007, 09:23 PM
 
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Well, DD is 2.5 but I am having a really really hard time of it. She loves her brother, but is very very angry that I can't nurse her constantly. She is also doing all kinds of naughty things like running away from me all the time, BITING me (!!), peeing in her pants (she's been potty trained since about 18 months) and many many other things. She wants to hold the baby and scream in his face that she loves him allll the time.

We're also dealing with a cancer diagnosis for DH and TWO abnormal results from DS's newborn screen, so there is a lot goinig on with us right now. (We're hoping for false positives on the screens, since DS seems to be doing fine.)

Things were actually slightly better today. Sigh. I find myself either frequently regretting having another babe, as much as I love him, or wanting to throw DD across the room. : I really hope things start looking up soon.
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#12 of 13 Old 09-12-2007, 09:09 AM
 
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4 under 4 here. : DD(4) is now going to all day PreK. DS(2) is super jealous. Babies are going great. I'm going crazy not getting out of the house much. It can only get better

Missionary, birth-worker, midwifery student
Mama to love.gif DD (9yr), DS luxlove.gif (3yr), & 2twins.gif UC twin DDs (5yr)

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#13 of 13 Old 09-15-2007, 06:08 PM
 
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It is not very easy DD has many tantrums now, she was very mellow before the birth. It is also the age (she is 25 months now) I think. She loves her brother a lot, giving him kisses all the time. But she wakes him up when he is sleeping, having a tantrum when he cries and I pick him up, takes off her poopy diaper when I am nursing him....

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