Periods--tampons... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-20-2009, 02:42 AM
 
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I was pushed a little because I was a competitive swimmer. I had a few messy meets, but I figured out pretty quickly that the tampon wasn't as bad as the disasters I created trying to use pads in a pool or go without and hope things moved quickly enough to just get away with standing in the shower most of the time It never occurred to me to ask my mom to help me get it in right. Thankfully my daughter and I have a much more open relaxed relationship about this stuff so I can help her through it all when she gets there. We've been collecting cloth pads. If she wants something internal, we can look at the options then - diva cup, sea sponge whatever. I personally never had success with the sponges though. every time I stood up the sponge got smooshed and leaked big time.

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Old 02-22-2009, 12:10 AM
 
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Huh. The whole issue just seems very weird to me. My daughter's body is her own and she can certainly choose her own products. When she got her first period, I gave her disposable pads, tampons, and all of my cloth pads (I'd had a hysterectomy a few months before.) so that she could choose what she wanted to use. By about her third period, she was ready to try tampons and hasn't used pads since, except that she wears cloth pads at night for backup. She's uber-modest and never would have dreamed of asking me to help her learn to use tampons, though I suppose if she'd asked I'd have been willing.

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Old 02-22-2009, 12:15 AM
 
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I am sure that many girls cannot physically use tampons, right? The whole intact hymen thing?? Assisting a girl in using one could really hurt her if hers is still intact!

My dd knows all about tampons at age 8 but we haven't talked about what she's going to use yet. I assume pads. I'm certainly not going to push her. I started my period very late and by the end of the first period I was using tampons. I just read the instructions and got them to work after a couple of tries. But again, some girls probably cannot physically use them yet. My cousin couldn't, and she really wanted to.

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Old 02-22-2009, 12:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Marsupialmom View Post
I have known more than one mom to new menestratin girl push tampon.

I have heard one mom say "Just were a damn tampon" yes she was frustrated but we had options and it was suggested.

I have heard and read mom's talk about assisting a less than happy child to wear a tampon. This girls aren't asking to wear them they are being told to. No sympathy for not being comfortable with them. That is why I am bothered with these situations and these mom's they are doing it with out the girls permission--like life stops because you won't use a tampon. Life might change but it doesn't stop.
I find that really weird - beyond weird. I have no words. I'm going to encourage dd to try a Diva cup or other reuseable internal method, but she can do what she likes.

I will say that I consider pads to be their own circle of hell. Aside from the c-section recovery, the worst thing about being post-partum is having to use external protection. I hate pads.

I've used tampons since I was...13?, I think. I only used pads for my first few periods. However, if my mom had even suggested "assisting" me with inserting a tampon, I'd have gone ape. If a girl is old enough to menstruate, she's certainly old enough to take care of her personal hygiene without mom's help! (Obviously, that excludes some kinds of special needs, and some serious injuries, but it definitely applies to the general population.)

So, to answer the question in your OP - I have no idea.

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Old 02-22-2009, 12:33 AM
 
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About seven or eight years ago I was reading one those teen bop mags and in the section where the girls can write in and stuff one girl actually wrote in saying her mom made her wear tampons and actually put them in her and took them out. She hated it and asked if it constituted sexual abuse. I have to admit that I think it does, if the child doesn't want the help. If she asks for it, then it's a totally different situation.
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I agree totally. I can't imagine how putting something up someone's vagina when they don't want it there wouldn't constitute sexual abuse. It's just so messed up.

Honestly...if dd really wants my assistance with a tampon when she's older, I'll do my best, but I would not be comfortable with it. I can't really imagine how I could physically help with that, anyway. IME, it's all about being able to feel what's going on inside.

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Old 02-22-2009, 12:34 AM
 
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I am sure that many girls cannot physically use tampons, right? The whole intact hymen thing??
I started using tampons at age 13. My hymen didn't break until I was 15. No problems (although I agree that someone else trying to push a tampon in there could be painful).

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Old 02-22-2009, 03:38 AM
 
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I just bought an assortment, OBs, a couple of brands of applicator style in junior sizes, and had dsd read the directions a few times, then turned her loose.

She went though before she got the hang of it, but she hated pads so much she was determined to figure it out, and she only uses pads at night. (I actually used to know the woman who sued the Rely tampon folks way back when and I'm ultra-paranoid about using tampons for 8 hours)

So, after this success, we may give the diva cup a try after all.


I can't imagine having to physically 'help' her with any of these.

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Old 02-22-2009, 05:00 AM
 
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I started my period when I was 13, and I used tampons from the very start. They were uncomfortable at first, but I wasn't using them correctly. Once I figured it out, though, they were fine. The only time I have ever used pads is when I sleep on the first one or two days, so when I leak it doesn't get on my sheets or ruin my clothes. I also wear a panty liner the first couple days for the same reason. I don't like wearing just a pad, though. It feels gross to me. I was forced to during surgery once and after I gave birth, and I absolutely HATED it.

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Old 02-22-2009, 04:52 PM
 
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[QUOTE=elephantine;13011121]Yeah my mom was one of these, fanatic religious/conservative... how using a tampon is something dirty/sexual and not using them is "part of being a virgin". : I also remember her taunting me and my older sister about how one day we were going have a period and it horrified me... as she is/was undiagnosed bipolar and frequently blamed her episodes on her period...
sorry though, side tracking.
[QUOTE]
We always thought that maybe my mom was bipolar, but looking back as an adult and dealing with sometimes very severe PMDD myself, I think that could have been what she was dealing with.

I was also told using tampons made me a whore so until I started making my own money I used pads and hated them. We'd take a family trip to the beach and I'd have to sit out because I had my period. Not because I wanted to, but because I wasn't allowed. I'll provide my dd with all available options and let her choose. I can't imagine pushing my preference on her.
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Old 02-22-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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With me and most of my firends, our moms dicouraged it. By about my 4th cycle, maybe sooner, I knew I HATED getting my period. So I insisted on trying tampons. I was scared, as my mom said they were hard to use, and her mom pushed her to, and had to help her with her first one. My Grandma has tried to get me to try them too. She had (and still has) an inaaproprite interest in me, so I refused to discuss it with her.

Anyhow, I tried them, only wated one, and thy are awesome. I really felt like they gave me my life back. I still often wore pads as backup, but would have been housebound for days every month without them. Back then, (now I feel old) they said NOT to wear them overnight. So at night, I wore huge pads, put down an old blanket over plastic, on my bed, wore plastic lined underwear, and still leked onto mu jammies and sheets. I was the happiest girl in all the land when they said they were fine for overnight.

I would absolutely encourage my girl to try tampons if she wants. NWIH would I physically help her, even if she asked. That's crossing a line. I was abolutely horrified at the thought of my mother helping me. My mom was shocked I managed on my own. Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence, mom.
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Old 02-23-2009, 01:22 AM
 
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Old 02-23-2009, 04:44 AM
 
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My mom was one of those that told me I couldn't use tampons. She said I would "bust my cherry" (MAN I hate that term) and my husband wouldn't believe I was a virgin on our wedding night. She lied and said that she and bother her sisters were allergic to tampons, so we would be allergic too. I used pads until I was 16 and ordered a free sample from Tampax's website. I was in the flag corps and we wore spandex pants to competitions. Spandex pants and pads? No. Freaking. Way. So I used free samples for competitions until finally I said screw it and told her I'd been using them. She got over it.

My mom was totally weird about the whole period thing. I got my period when I was 13. All info I had came from Seventeen magazine and "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret". There were NO pads in the house because Mom had a hysterectomy a few years before. You'd think if you've got 12 and 13-year-old daughters who haven't had their periods, you might want to have some pads laying around, or at least give them some info. I used wads of toilet paper over pantyliners for a few days, washing out my panties several times a day and sometimes my pants. My mom ended up finding my wet panties, getting me out of bed in the middle of the night, taking me into the bathroom, closing the door, and asking in a whisper if I'd gotten my period. It was horrible and mortifying. Even then she gave me no info about my period, just (usually) bought pads, so long as I told her in a whisper when no men were home that I needed them. If we ran out, it was back to pantyliners and toilet paper until she remembered. I cannot imagine even asking my mom how to put in a tampon, much less actually having her put one in for me. *shudder* EW.

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Old 02-23-2009, 11:33 AM
 
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WTH is wrong with these women? My mom was pretty bad but she at least always had pads in stock... she had a hysterectomy a few years ago, but still has a lot of pads b/c my 19 year old sister still lives at home. This is a great thread of mostly what *not* to do re: daughters and periods.
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Old 02-23-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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minkajane, that's awful.


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Old 02-24-2009, 02:00 AM
 
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I'm hoping that the fact that my kids (son and daughter) would never let me use the bathroom alone and have witnessed me and my keeper on countless occasions will mean that they are both comfortable with menstruation -- I would absolutely help my dd if she asked for help, but I agree that you kind of need to feel what's going on inside -- so maybe I'd limit my help to observing and talking her through it if she needed help...

I don't see tampons as a way to "hide" your period, they're just a lot more comfortable and convenient, IMO. I LOVE my keeper, and really what it comes down to is what is most comfortable for each person and what fits into their lifestyle best. I started my period at 11, and my dad was taking me waterskiing later that day, so I started with tampons (after about an hour of reading the instructions) and never really wore pads, even though I had friends who told me tampons were gross -- that seemed to be the prevailing sentiment where I grew up, and I did wear pads a few times strictly because I didn't want to be thought of as slutty .

do they make smaller keepers/diva cups? one of the ads on this page showed something called a 'mooncup' which looked like a silicon keeper, and the female holding it looked youngish... I'll investigate, but has anyone's youngish dd used an internal cup system with any success? I've always found pads uncomfortable, but will buy cloth pads for my dd if she wants them...

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Old 02-24-2009, 03:31 PM
 
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My mom "helped" me use my first tampoon. We talked about, went in the bathroom together, I inserted it and she was there and I think watched to make sure I did it right. It was not weird for me. I asked for the help. The first time my mom used a tampon she stuck it in her butt by mistake, which she also told me when I was learning to use them.


As per the "just wear a damn tampoon" comment in the locker room, I wasn't there, but I would assume there was a lot of complaing and whining about wanting to go swimming or the like and not wanting to wear a pad and the mom was like "FINE wear a damn tampon," or the kid was asking to wear one so they could go in teh pool etc "but so so uses tampons, and our health teacher said blah blah" and mom was frustrated and gave in. I feel like I don't have enough information aout that situation
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