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#1 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 01:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My oldest is far away from periods but she is getting friends that have them.

What is the push to wear tampon? I can see encouraging them for at least swimming but I have heard mom's "assisting" putting them in.

Am I wrong for thinking that is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG? I can see talking about it, giving instructions, telling my dd to feel herself so she knows were it goes. Giving a little ky--nervous body isn't always friendly body. But I feel actually assisting is violating. Am I wrong for feeling that if they were/are ready they will either do it themselves or ask me to help?

I love swimming but I don't see it that big of a deal to push a girl to wear a tampon to take her swimming. I would find alternative plans for her if she wasn't comfortable.

Am I missing something here with the push to wear a tampon?

When we get there I plan on discussing options, explaining how to, and just having them avialble for when they decide to use them.
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#2 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 01:27 AM
 
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I'm missing what your missing... Almost!

The cashier at the store (of all people) wanted to know why pads when dd could wear tampons.

Um, because she doesn't want tampons...

I just told her "It's none of you damned business!" (word for word and I was not nice about it.)

Actually now she wants cloth pads.

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#3 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 02:15 AM
 
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I didn't even think tampons were recommended until they were older...our daughter just started her cycle last month. She turned 12 two days before Christmas...hadn't even considered the possibility at this stage.

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#4 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 02:41 AM
 
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I would think...if you can't put in a tampon yourself, you don't need one. Why would you ever insert your kid's tampon?

My girls have access to tampons, bc I use them, but I don't think they've tried to use them. They are 10 and 11.
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#5 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 03:22 AM
 
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my daughters got the information from me. i didnt show them or assist them, but i know that they helped each other when it came to questions or troubles they didnt want to discuss with mom. i dont think they felt so much a media push as they did peer pressure to use them after a certain age... right around 14/15 i think.

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#6 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 04:24 AM
 
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I think a lot of it is that young girls and women are really not comfortable with menstruation in today's society. If women perceive their menstrual fluid as "gross" or "unclean," a pad that makes the sight, smell, texture quite apparent may seem unhygienic or messy to some or most; one has to do a whole lot more acknowledging of, and interacting with, their menstrual fluid with a pad.

Also, I think some of it might be concern with discretion- that the bulk or outline of a pad will be visible to others. When I was growing up I felt that pads were perceived this way, and there was certainly pressure to use tampons; that is kind of the norm among my generation.

That said, I tend to prefer internal protection, like a menstrual cup, not because I feel that it's "gross" or that I am uncomfortable with it, but I do prefer to contain it for simplicity/tidiness.

But with girls menstruating younger and younger, I think it makes sense to hold off on tampons until they are comfortable psychologically and physically with the idea of inserting something there, and able to do it themselves. I agree that there shouldn't be any pressure to use one form over the other. I can also see though that the first time putting one in can be a little intimidating- it would be really weird/wrong if the mom had to do it every time, if that is what you meant in our post, but I suppose it seems less of to me if she wants some help or guidance the very first time she tries.. that said, it seems to me one of those things that is better done yourself- you have to figure out how to work with your body, it's not really something that someone else can do as intuitively as you can do yourself, you know? So it does seem more reasonable that if a girl expresses on her own accord a preference for trying tampons, the mom could offer to purchase the tampons and lube and offer support without having to physically do the inserting, as the girl will eventually need to learn that anyway and it is a pretty personal thing.

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#7 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 04:31 AM
 
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We live where going to the beach is a year round activity.

I happen to know my dsd isn't comfortable enough with her own body to use tampons or a diva cup, but she wants to try so she doesn't have to stay out of the water when she gets her period.

Consequently, I'll waste a few dollars on OB tampons before I spend almost $40 on a diva cup. If she can use the OBs, then we'll go ahead and get a diva cup, but if she's going to go eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww! I'm not wasting my money and she can skip the beach occasionally.

I'm not going to tell her I don't have confidence in her, because she may surprise me. But I'm not going to be foolish with my money, either. I hope she proves me wrong because it will be cheaper and easier in the long run.

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#8 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 04:49 AM
 
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Just FYI bigeyes, OBs never worked for me because I have really short fingers and I couldn't get them in far enough. If your DSD happens to have short fingers, she may need something with an applicator.
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#9 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 05:22 AM
 
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Just FYI bigeyes, OBs never worked for me because I have really short fingers and I couldn't get them in far enough. If your DSD happens to have short fingers, she may need something with an applicator.
in far enough? sounds like you may have been trying to push them too far. i only use tampons without applicators, and i just push them in far enough to get past the pubic bone. only an inch, at most of my finger goes in.
i have never had any issues with leaking, etc.
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#10 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 11:47 AM
 
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My little girl seems to be in the beginning stages of puberty. She's 8. I'm worried that she'll have her period when she's 9 or 10, so I'm taking as many notes as I can.

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#11 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 12:13 PM
 
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What is the push to wear tampon? I can see encouraging them for at least swimming but I have heard mom's "assisting" putting them in.
Maybe I'm missing something but how do you know the girls didn't ask their mom for help or give explicit consent to their mom helping them?

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But I feel actually assisting is violating. Am I wrong for feeling that if they were/are ready they will either do it themselves or ask me to help?
Again, what if that's what your dd's friends did?

I am not at all a fan of tampons- I don't wear them. But I wouldn't necessarily assume that their moms are pushing them to wear them.

Maybe there's something you've left out.
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#12 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 12:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Maybe I'm missing something but how do you know the girls didn't ask their mom for help or give explicit consent to their mom helping them?

Again, what if that's what your dd's friends did?

I am not at all a fan of tampons- I don't wear them. But I wouldn't necessarily assume that their moms are pushing them to wear them.

Maybe there's something you've left out.
I have known more than one mom to new menestratin girl push tampon.

I have heard one mom say "Just were a damn tampon" yes she was frustrated but we had options and it was suggested.

I have heard and read mom's talk about assisting a less than happy child to wear a tampon. This girls aren't asking to wear them they are being told to. No sympathy for not being comfortable with them. That is why I am bothered with these situations and these mom's they are doing it with out the girls permission--like life stops because you won't use a tampon. Life might change but it doesn't stop.
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#13 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 02:29 PM
 
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My mom told me if I used tampons before I was sexually active I'd get TSS. I always suspected she was lying to me to make me tell her when I was. I found pads didn't contain the leakage and I got made fun of so I stole hers. So there is nothing to what she told me at all then?
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#14 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 02:37 PM
 
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So there is nothing to what she told me at all then?
Nope. Absolutely nothing to it.

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#15 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 04:27 PM
 
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I have known more than one mom to new menestratin girl push tampon.

I have heard one mom say "Just were a damn tampon" yes she was frustrated but we had options and it was suggested.

I have heard and read mom's talk about assisting a less than happy child to wear a tampon.

Where in the world are you having these conversation? This whole thread is just too out there for me because I've never heard another mother discussing these things with her DD, and my DDs never mention talking about them with their friends.

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#16 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 08:14 PM
 
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I don't think there's any push for girls to use tampons, nor is there any issue if they do use them at a younger age. My 15yo has been using them since she was 11, just because she prefers them. I can't really imagine anyone "encouraging" their daughter to use tampons when she's not ready.
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#17 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 08:34 PM
 
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My dd prefers to abstain from swimming at her moontime. But if she ever asked for help inserting a tampon I'd help her. She'd have to ask me though. I'd also try to talk her through it first. I used to have to insert tampons for a woman that had MS and I was her inhome care provider. It was VERY uncomfortable for me to do.

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#18 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 08:34 PM
 
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I don't think there's any push for girls to use tampons, nor is there any issue if they do use them at a younger age. My 15yo has been using them since she was 11, just because she prefers them. I can't really imagine anyone "encouraging" their daughter to use tampons when she's not ready.
I'm especially icked out by the idea of someone forcing their dd to use one if she didn't want to. I can't wrap my head around that at all.

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#19 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 09:19 PM
 
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I remember assisting my sister who was putting in her first tampon. I am 8 years older than her and she was in tears because she couldn't get it in and there was a big pool party.

When I got my period for the first time I walked myself to the nurse and paid my $.10 for a tampon. There was no way I would ever, ever, ever wear a pad. They feel (and often look) like a diaper and I will never sit in my own blood if I can have it all nicely contained inside.

I remember sharing those sentiments among friends in school, and the only girls I knew who didn't wear tampons were ones who were told (by their parents or believed that they weren't virgins if they used tampons. Well, there were one or two who couldn't get them in comfortably.

I never heard of an adult pushing tampons over pads - only the opposite - and I was not in school that long ago.

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#20 of 76 Old 01-03-2009, 10:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Where in the world are you having these conversation? This whole thread is just too out there for me because I've never heard another mother discussing these things with her DD, and my DDs never mention talking about them with their friends.
I feel like you are insinuating something but the "D**n Tampon" comment was heard in a locker room.

I have been at pools and a party and the topic has been talked about becuase my kids are at that age were the girls are starting. They are parental "war" stories.

Yes, on more mainstream board I have heard it discussed.

I brought it up here because there is more like minded people. Plus I needed to hear comments like Sk8ermaiden to understand better some of these situations.

I wouldn't have been bothered by these situations and conversations if I knew the girls were asking for help....it just seems in the girl circle there is a push to get over the fear of wearing a tampon.
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#21 of 76 Old 01-04-2009, 12:04 AM
 
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in far enough? sounds like you may have been trying to push them too far. i only use tampons without applicators, and i just push them in far enough to get past the pubic bone. only an inch, at most of my finger goes in.
i have never had any issues with leaking, etc.
My pubic bone is high on that end (ask me what station DS got hung up on for a really, really annoying hour during pushing ) and my fingers are very short. So it would be too low to be comfortable for me, I could feel the tampon and it was rather painful, unlike using an applicator. After having DS I guess the bones moved around a bit, because it is no longer an issue with OB tampons.
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#22 of 76 Old 01-04-2009, 01:53 AM
 
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I've been a tampon user for years and years and never had a problem with any of the brands but O.B. It just sucks not to have an applicator. And I don't have the problem of the above poster. They just always feel like they're going to fall out.

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#23 of 76 Old 01-04-2009, 01:55 AM
 
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My oldest is far away from periods but she is getting friends that have them.

What is the push to wear tampon? I can see encouraging them for at least swimming but I have heard mom's "assisting" putting them in.

Am I wrong for thinking that is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG? I can see talking about it, giving instructions, telling my dd to feel herself so she knows were it goes. Giving a little ky--nervous body isn't always friendly body. But I feel actually assisting is violating. Am I wrong for feeling that if they were/are ready they will either do it themselves or ask me to help?

I love swimming but I don't see it that big of a deal to push a girl to wear a tampon to take her swimming. I would find alternative plans for her if she wasn't comfortable.

Am I missing something here with the push to wear a tampon?

When we get there I plan on discussing options, explaining how to, and just having them avialble for when they decide to use them.
I think no mother needs to assist in putting a tampon in! If she cannot put one in place and remove it HERSELF, why should she wear one?

However, I don't know that there is necessarily a "push" to wear one -- although I do agree that if she is planning to swim, that (or a menstrual cup) is the only sanitary solution.

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#24 of 76 Old 01-04-2009, 01:55 AM
 
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I've been a tampon user for years and years and never had a problem with any of the brands but O.B. It just sucks not to have an applicator. And I don't have the problem of the above poster. They just always feel like they're going to fall out.
I LOVE OB tampons. They are the only ones I don't "feel" inside me. I think because they are shorter.

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#25 of 76 Old 01-04-2009, 02:30 AM
 
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Man, my first few periods hit with a vengeance (still do when I'm not on the Pill). Lots of physical pain, added to the psychological trauma of frequently bleeding all over my clothes and bedding. Plus I was a cross-country runner and pads chafed and bunched and made my life even more miserable. It was an ugly situation for a fourteen-year-old to have to sort out.

Luckily my mom was a tampon wearer and suggested I try those. The first couple of times I had a really difficult time because I just wasn't inserting them properly. Maybe I should have read the directions, but really I was just a mess about the whole situation. I could have used a good talking-through, but was too embarrassed to ask.

I eventually did figure things out, but it was a messy and tear-filled time until I did. I don't think I'd be comfortable inserting a tampon for someone else, but I'd totally be sympathetic about giving instructions to DD or anyone else who was having trouble.
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#26 of 76 Old 01-04-2009, 03:58 PM
 
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I have been at pools and a party and the topic has been talked about becuase my kids are at that age were the girls are starting. They are parental "war" stories.
My DDs are this age and are competitive swimmers so we live at the pool. I've never heard a conversation like this. I cannot image how a girl this age would feel about her mother talking about her periods with her friends. It is so invasive. Just because girls are this age isn't a reason for the moms to sit around talking about it.

Why don't you get up and walk away from these conversations? They are weird and inappropriate. Not all mothers talk about their DDs private issues in public.

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#27 of 76 Old 01-04-2009, 04:04 PM
 
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DD1 generally prefers tampons- she finds them to be more comfortable. They're also more environmentally sound as they're simply smaller and produce less waste than disposable pads. I've offered to either sew or purchase cloth pads for her, but so far she's not interested.

I've never actually put in a tampon for her or kept her company in the bathroom while she was putting one in. However, we did discuss tampon use, safety, comparison of different brands and types, and general discussion of how to put in a tampon. After studying the package insert, she was able to figure it out on her own, and now likes tampons better than pads.

I don't think it matters if a girl gets her first period at 8 or 15- if she's physically mature enough to menstruate she's probably physically mature enough to wear a tampon.

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#28 of 76 Old 01-04-2009, 07:20 PM
 
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DD1 generally prefers tampons- she finds them to be more comfortable. They're also more environmentally sound as they're simply smaller and produce less waste than disposable pads.
They also don't have the plastic and adhesives in them, so they're pretty biodegradable.

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#29 of 76 Old 01-04-2009, 10:43 PM
 
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My DDs are this age and are competitive swimmers so we live at the pool. I've never heard a conversation like this. I cannot image how a girl this age would feel about her mother talking about her periods with her friends. It is so invasive. Just because girls are this age isn't a reason for the moms to sit around talking about it.

Why don't you get up and walk away from these conversations? They are weird and inappropriate. Not all mothers talk about their DDs private issues in public.
I just wandered onto this thread....but wanted to say that as someone not long out of my teens, a LOT of moms apparently are that invasive. I had a friend whose mom forced her to use a tampon at age 9 because she had paid for swimming lessons and didn't want them to go to waste. on teh converse, my mother forbade me from shaving my legs or using tampons. she gave me the same story another poster here mentioned about TSS. I didn't believe her, researched it myself, asked the doctor, and then proceeded to stop trusting her. but, yeah, she and her friends definitely had conversations like this, and my mother was still monitoring my tooth-brushing and deodorant use when I was in the tenth grade. I can't imagine being that interested in someone else's personal hygiene.

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#30 of 76 Old 01-05-2009, 01:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My DDs are this age and are competitive swimmers so we live at the pool. I've never heard a conversation like this. I cannot image how a girl this age would feel about her mother talking about her periods with her friends. It is so invasive. Just because girls are this age isn't a reason for the moms to sit around talking about it.

Why don't you get up and walk away from these conversations? They are weird and inappropriate. Not all mothers talk about their DDs private issues in public.
One I am not perfect.....and sadly it is something I grew up with. I don't do it because I don't like it but at the same time it was the realm of my growing up....even in my adulthood I sensor what I tell her because I know she will talk about it.
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