Mine's 8: What am I going to wish I knew now? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 9 Old 04-03-2009, 02:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My older dd is 8. I'm amazed by her every day.

I often read threads and listen to other homeschool moms who only have younger kids and are worried about things I'm pretty sure their kids are going to outgrow one way or the other.

I'm aware of how early in her childhood we are....and I'm wondering. When moms of 8 year olds angst about their 8 year olds, what do you wish you could tell them that you know now?
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#2 of 9 Old 04-03-2009, 08:41 PM
 
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This is not a direct answer to your question but if I could go back to when dd was 8 this is what I would do. I would pay way more attention in our conversations (she had a tendency to go on and on and on in excruciating detail lol) and I would give her way more cuddles. (She was very touchy and it made me a little uncomfortable) I see now that she really needed these things and found them in self destructive ways once she reached 14. It’s been a long road back for dd and I.

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#3 of 9 Old 04-03-2009, 09:49 PM
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Well... I wish I had known that I didn't need to own all of my daughter's problems. I was there to listen, and help, and support her, but ultimately her problems were hers and I needed to not let them feel like mine.

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#4 of 9 Old 04-04-2009, 12:22 AM
 
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I have an 8 yo, too! Although this is a particularly sweet time in our relationship, and I think I will remember 8 with great joy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dar View Post
Well... I wish I had known that I didn't need to own all of my daughter's problems. I was there to listen, and help, and support her, but ultimately her problems were hers and I needed to not let them feel like mine.

Dar
This has been my big challenge this year. I am finding that me letting go has helped her to develop more confidence and resiliency
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#5 of 9 Old 04-04-2009, 07:14 PM
 
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3 of our children are teens. The other three are younger than 8.

Eight years old was just HARD. All of our older kids are girls...I don't know what it is about 8 years old, but it brought out the most...toddler-like behaviour! Honestly, we went from, "I can do this, thankyouverymuch," to, "You don't care! You're not helping me!" in less time than it takes to tear your hair out.

Eight was very much a, "Am I going to live through this?" phase for us. We felt a little adrift, as our homeschoolers are also always the eldest in their groups and so we knew NOBODY who had been through this in quite the same way.

It passed.

DAR's advice is wonderful...you can't make her problems YOUR problems. OTOH, I love Cherie2's advice...more cuddles, less stress, more time *listening* instead of mentally reeling off the next 18 things you have to do that day..

Good luck!

love, p

Bookworm Mama to 6 wonderkids and stepmama to one more: 23, 22, 19, 13, 11, 9 and our Z born April 2013. . Partner to my
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#6 of 9 Old 04-06-2009, 11:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is great advice! Thank you. Things have been going along really well, but I'm finding my expectations have gotten wildly out of whack and it's causing undue conflict.

Your thoughts are very helpful.
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#7 of 9 Old 05-11-2009, 01:59 PM
 
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#8 of 9 Old 05-17-2009, 12:22 PM
 
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I have an 8yo dd, so I thank you for this thread. MY dh and I just had a conversation about how if she's like this now, with attitude and such, we are in such trouble in her teens. The advice, especially about the hugs (we are in the same boat on each of our ends) has been very good! I hope more is coming.
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#9 of 9 Old 05-17-2009, 01:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by coleslaw View Post
I have an 8yo dd, so I thank you for this thread. MY dh and I just had a conversation about how if she's like this now, with attitude and such, we are in such trouble in her teens. The advice, especially about the hugs (we are in the same boat on each of our ends) has been very good! I hope more is coming.

That's one of the "bad" things about age 8. Don't let your 8 yo's attitude color how you parent her when she becomes a teen. I've know way too many parents who rein in their teens and start treating them like parolees instead of the almost adults they are becoming. Be like our legal system--assume innocence unless proven otherwise. Not the other way around. And listen to them, respect their opinions and views. They are forming their own apart from you. And will state the opposite just to see what you will do.

Chris--extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, co-sleeping, APing, CLW, homeschooling before any of this was a trend mom to Joy (1/78), Erica (8/80), Angela (9/84), Dylan (2/98)
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