Would you let DD use this word? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 71 Old 05-04-2009, 05:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lorijds View Post
If my daughter used the word pussy with me, I'd have several thoughts:
a) I must be the coolest mom ever if my kid is just having a general conversation with me *and* wants to talk about her vulva *and* uses the word pussy
I know right!? this line just made my day!!

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#62 of 71 Old 05-04-2009, 05:19 PM
 
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I find it to be extremely vulgar, much worse than "f&ck" in my opinion. I would be more ok with the "F" word than the "P" word.

I'm not a prude... I curse like a sailor and am 100% ok with porn but I really can not stand that word.

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#63 of 71 Old 05-05-2009, 11:48 AM
 
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Weeellll....it's not a word I'd be comfortable hearing coming out of my own almost-16-year-old-daughter's mouth. I'd let her know very gently that it's fine when she's with her friends but stick to vulva/vagina around Mom, thank you very much.

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#64 of 71 Old 05-05-2009, 03:02 PM
 
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I would explain how I felt about it and then let her call her parts what she wants.

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13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#65 of 71 Old 06-14-2009, 09:41 AM
 
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Jessy1019...I agree COMPLETELY ! I also don't understand why so many parents get upset about the language their kids use! Instead of worrying about the words themselves, why not teach them WHEN they are not appropriate? My boys swear like sailors and always have, yet they know when they should not use such words and when they are OK. To the OP: i think you WAAAY over reacted to the word "pussy!' Let her use the words that she feels comfortable with!
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#66 of 71 Old 06-14-2009, 10:04 AM
 
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Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
There was a fascinating and deeply, deeply disturbing documentary over here recently about the pornification of our teens : http://sexperienceuk.channel4.com/sex-education LMK if you want me to get a copy to you, but I'm planning on using it as a reference with my kids as they grow.
Check your library! My library has it and we are small as libraries go. Back to your regularly schedueled program
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#67 of 71 Old 06-14-2009, 10:26 AM
 
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I don't police language. I have conversations about words that are used that make me uncomfortable. My oldest is 11, though, and we haven't come to a word he uses that I explain my dislike for and he's continued to use---so I am unsure what I'll do when/if we reach that point.

I don't have a problem with the word pussy. I don't use it a lot, but it's not jarring to me. I have adult friends who use it in conversation and I might use it with them.

OP, I think it's fantastic that you have such a great realtionship with your dd. I would take a moment and pat myself on the back if I were you! Not many young women that age are comfortable enough with their mothers or their own bodies to have a conversation like this. I would probably bring it up again, in sort of cultural linguistics conversation. With my younger (in their early 20s) cousins, I know the word is used less sexually and more matter-of-factly in conversation. I think it's part of the evolution of the word, which I always find interesting.

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#68 of 71 Old 06-14-2009, 04:29 PM
 
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really its just a word...as long as u explain that other people might not like to hear that word what does it really matter?

btw i live in the uk and we have two new pussy's...lol
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#69 of 71 Old 06-14-2009, 05:00 PM
 
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Nope. Not around me.
Use it around others, friends, or whatever, but not so I hear it.
I would just have a calm talk about the use of that word, why I don't appreciate it and don't want it around me, and say that she could use it with friends, but not with me.
Simple as that.

And yeah, I do have a grown daughter who I've had these conversations with a lot, and she uses proper words around me and other adults. She got the difference between her young friends, and other adults when she was that age. Didn't effect our amazing, open relationship at all.

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#70 of 71 Old 06-14-2009, 05:41 PM
 
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So, I have a friend a couple of years younger (less than 5) than me who uses the term "cooch" to refer to her vulva. To me, that term is vulgar and a bit offensive, and she says that she often gets that reaction from people not much older than herself. However, it's what she and her friends all used. There was something about "coochy pants" too, which I guess are low cut pants?? Apparently I missed all of that being in HS a few years ahead of her. I think that how offensive words are depends a great deal on what you grew up with as well as context and audience.

I'm 28 years old and graduated HS in 1998. I personally find pussy to be a bit offensive, but not nearly as much so as many of the women on this thread. I would certainly not chose to use that word myself. I find cunt to be highly offensive. Then again, I find most slang terms for vulva and/or vagina a bit off putting at least. I didn't hear the word "yoni" until I was in my 20's and had been married for several years. Maybe I'd have taken that one up in HS if I'd heard it then. I generally used clinical terms with my peers, (not that we discussed our vulvas often) but we were all geeks and used clinical terms for many things. My mother taught me the term vagina as well as penis and so on from a very early age. I was comfortable using all of that with her, though we didn't often discuss sex. My DH and I, who dated throughout HS, made up our own words over the years - generally things most people wouldn't think were sexual at all. I'm quite comfortable discussing sex, my vulva, his penis, and so on with him, both in clinical and not so clinical terms.

I too think it's awesome that your DD felt comfortable refering to her vulva in general context with you.

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#71 of 71 Old 06-14-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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Pussy is a pretty common word in my world. I would be happy enough that my dd was comfortable talking about anything sexual with me and not try to correct her word choice. I would, however, cringe a little (bc I'm not a huge fan of the word) and let her know that some people really hate the word, and if she were talking to her doctor or in mixed company (whatever type of company that may be for her) that she may want to think about what words she chooses. I imagine she would be taken more seriously by a doctor if she used a more specific and/or medical term, for example.
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