Mom in exam room - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 06-21-2009, 07:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Large part of threads at this great forum relate to mental and physical development of preteens and teens. Different societies however have different attitude toward nudity, modesty and privacy. In most societies the mother oversees the health and physical development of both girls and boys, while for the father are inherent to ensure material comforts for the family. It`s normal for mother, (single mother especially) to see partial or full nudity, when execute hers duties or if she estimate that it`s important for her child`s hygiene or health. What is more, for perform “Mother Questionnaire: Boys' Pubertal Development Scale” in example (https://secc.rti.org/display.cfm?t=m&i=Chapter_85_4), mother must be aware of the stage of development and physical changes of her son. But with growing up the opportunity for update that impressions are quite rare. The medical office policy in most societies requires a parent or guardian to be present during child`s physical exam. That affords a quite legitimate opportunity and acceptable excuse to mother to witness the exam and to become acquainted about the stage of development of her kid.
I`ll be curious to find out your opinion about that sensitive matter!
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#2 of 9 Old 06-29-2009, 10:41 AM
 
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Really great threat, Yoanna! I never had speculated on that matter until find out your post. Actually it is my wife who always attend our son`s physical exams. We hadn`t even talk over that routine, established many years ago. Our pediatrician office still remain kind of woman`s territory. Nearly all doctors in there and all of nurses are females. I have never seen fathers in there, and if there are any, hi remain in waiting area. Nobody, even bigger boys about 12 -13 yo complain that routine, may be because that practice is enjoin as norm by the years.
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#3 of 9 Old 06-29-2009, 11:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by yoanna_mother View Post
What is more, for perform “Mother Questionnaire: Boys' Pubertal Development Scale” in example (https://secc.rti.org/display.cfm?t=m&i=Chapter_85_4), mother must be aware of the stage of development and physical changes of her son.
The scale has a "don't know" option, so it isn't necessary for the mother to be aware to complete the questionnaire. It looks like that questionnaire is part of research project, yes? Most parents won't be asked these questions.

My mother attended my ped visits, but they didn't involve nudity past puberty. At 15, I had some gyn problems and my mother took me to a gynecologist. She was not in that exam room, as I recall. (a nurse was present, mom was in the waiting room).


I don't think there is anything wrong with a parent being aware of a child's pubertal progress, but I also don't think it is necessary--esp outside of what the child chooses to share with the parent. In my case, that was nothing. Some things are obvious while clothed, such as facial hair and body odor. I guess I don't understand why it would be nec for a parent to be aware of more?
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#4 of 9 Old 06-29-2009, 01:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by yoanna_mother View Post
The medical office policy in most societies requires a parent or guardian to be present during child`s physical exam.
While they may require a parent or guardian to be present (i.e. in the waiting room), they do NOT necessarily require the parent/guardian to be in the exam room with them. I can think of many legitimate reasons for a pubescent child to prefer not to have a parent in the exam room.

As a pp noted, many areas of development are easily noticed; others may be less so, but can be deduced. Personally, I would think it a bit creepy if a Mom insisted on being in the exam room with her 17yo son. Or a Dad w/his 16 yo daughter.
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#5 of 9 Old 06-29-2009, 01:09 PM
 
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By puberty, I ask my children if they want me in the exam room or not. If I'm not wanted, I'll wait in the hallway during the exam. This is true even for my daughters, and we often change clothes in front of one another, I take them bra shopping, etc.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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#6 of 9 Old 06-30-2009, 10:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It`s comprehensible that I have in mind pre-pubescent and pubescent children at age of 10 – 11, up to 13 – 14 years old, who just enter puberty. At that age they are kids yet and are quite immature not only in my opinion, but according the moral norms and laws in most cultures. The same societies and the laws concedes to the parent rights to decide instead of underage kids what is good and what is bad for their behavior, upbringing and health, whether that sometime that decisions may can`t be child`s fancy. That applies to a great extent when be speaking for physical development and health. If you ask your children about necessity of physical exam, it`s point to a penny that they’ll decline it at all. Quite a lot of the children are rather bashful after reach puberty. It`s most likely because of inconvenience or shame to keep silent or even to conceal eventual symptoms about any aberration of normal physical development or health, not aware of their importance. Moreover, large part of people around the world can`t live in perfect social environment with well organized and worked health services. The regular physical exams are ones in the year, usually quite superficial and routine. Many small rural schools have only one school nurse available, who is doctor’s position acting. In under the circumstances most mothers, choose to handle the main care of their offspring`s health and physical development. On account of this purpose the mother must be aware of the stage of development and physical changes of her children. The presence in exam room and witness the exam gives the mother rare and quite legitimate opportunity to update her impression about that sensitive matter, especially after stop bathe them after reach kind age.
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#7 of 9 Old 06-30-2009, 08:42 PM
 
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Generally the society determines the frame of good behavior and mould sensation of right and wrong. Different cultures however have different moral norms and sense for acceptable and inadmissible. Widespread practice in Russia, Japan, Finland, Sweden and some other countries is all family members to use the sauna or to take bath together in nude, independently of gender and age. Some tribal communes can`t bother to live without clothing at all. But in most, mainly Muslim societies revealing even a small part of female body is conceder as deathly sin. Everyone have rights to substantiate his own acts in accordance with the norms of his own society.
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#8 of 9 Old 06-30-2009, 09:06 PM
 
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While they may require a parent or guardian to be present (i.e. in the waiting room), they do NOT necessarily require the parent/guardian to be in the exam room with them. I can think of many legitimate reasons for a pubescent child to prefer not to have a parent in the exam room.
Um, yeah. My mom was kicked out of the examining room more than once when the nurse or doctor wanted to ask me personal questions. And I can guarantee you that my mother was not looking at me after I reached that stage to "update" her view of me. I would have been humiliated and aghast at the idea. And I have no intention of violating my own children's privacy in such a manner either.
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#9 of 9 Old 07-04-2009, 06:54 PM
 
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I never went after 8 except once when I sprained my ankle at 11 utiil I was 17 and pregnant with my oldest where I went alone.

I also didn't change near her or anything...
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