Originally Posted by MusicianDad
In Iowa the permit is available at 14.
Oh My Goodness!!!!!! I can't believe that!!! I'm all about changing the legal driving age to at least 17!!!!!!! Guess we'll never be moving to Iowa!!!!
In Arkansas 14 year olds can get a permit too but I think you have to prove a hardship of some sorts to drive on your own. My daughter just got hers but she will be 16 in 10 days. She has to have an adult 21 or over that has had a real driver's license for a minimum of 6 months with her for the next 6 months then she can go get her "real" license.
To the OP - I feel for you. I am a nervous wreck whenever I ride with her and it's very, very hard for me to keep my mouth shut. I don't want to make her nervous too. She hugs the right side of the road and I think that is what all beginners do as on-coming traffic is unnerving to them. Problem is, where we live...there is no shoulder. We live out in the sticks so our roads are twisty and there are drop offs or ditches. She also drives with one hand (I'm guilty of this) and wants to drive about 5-7 miles over the speed limit.
I'm going to have to ask her step-dad and her dad to work with her more...it makes me want to drink!!!
Oh my! We're a long way from this ourselves, but I imagine it's terrifying.
For the first while after I got my LP, all the driving I did was in big, empty parking lots. Good for learning to start, stop, shift, without having to deal with traffic. The best thing for me, in terms of learning to drive on roads, was drivers' ed. The instructor was so calm he seemed catatonic, but he was really reassuring and good with the advice. It's possible that having a brake pedal of your own makes it much easier to be mellow about the situation. By contrast, driving with my parents was a nightmare. My dad made me nervous by giving tons of instructions, and my mom kept clutching her seatbelt and hyperventilating.
I've never been concerned about what the state says. I know my son far better than the state does. We told him a long time ago to forget about the state's guidelines.
My S had to do all the paperwork and pay for everything. He didn't get his permit until he was 16 and his licsense until he was 17. I cannot imagine getting in a car with a child who did not demostrate their maturity through making an investment of time and their own money.
I would not let a 14 year old drive a car. A truck on a farm or something like that, maybe. But just to drive? No way. There is a reason why the age is higher in nearly all the other states.
I just want to point out to the parents of new drivers.
You are allowed to offer advice to the new driver when your in the car with them. It's how they learn. If your not condicending or screaming in panic a simple "watch the shoulder" is allowed.
Originally Posted by Thisbirdwillfly
I would not let a 14 year old drive a car. A truck on a farm or something like that, maybe. But just to drive? No way. There is a reason why the age is higher in nearly all the other states.
There isn't a standard issue maturity level for fourteen year-olds - some are ready.
I'll also point out, a lot of the states with really young drivers ages have some very large, rural/remote areas, where driving is the only way to get anywhere. If I lived in one of those places, I would teach my kid to drive as soon as s/he could reach the pedals and see over the wheel.
In MI teens can take drivers training when they are 14 and 3/4 and get their restricted permit at 15. They cannot get a full license until they are 16 or 17 (I think, the rules changed after I was a teen and I don't have driver quite yet).
I feel your pain mama. I am not looking forward to a teen driver quite yet (and I am months away from the potential for a child in driver's training). My best advice is to speak clearly and calmly about instructions if he is doing something wrong, and try not to freak out while he is driving (at least he is leaning to the shoulder and not the on-coming lane
). I would also suggest not having him drive places where it is too busy and he has to make too many simultanious decisons.
As for the whole "Should 14 yos drive?" I won't take a firm position that they shouldn't. It is a kid by kid decision...I like the "pay for training/permit if you want to do it approach". And if I lived in a more rural area (like where I grew up), I would teach my kids to drive earlier on back roads. I was being taught how to drive a stick when I was about 14-15, even though I waited to get my license until I was 18 (so I didn't have to take driver's training).
I had always said my son would not get his liscense at 16- now that he is almost 14, my thoughts have changed. But it would be for my convenience, not his. His high school is quite a distance from our house and his sister will be going to one near his. He will basically drive to school and home again. No friends in the car, etc.
I feel your pain though- the thought of my baby boy behind the wheel! OMG!
he paid for his permit himself. he also applied for a detassling job. we are rural. we live in the town but we are surrounded by farmland. he is not allowed on the highways. he can drive 25 in the town. it is not the shoulder that bothers me it is the parked cars. i am trying to be calm, but i get so nervous. how my dad did it with me i;ll never know. and he started me at 11 yo. in a big truck on gravel. but my dad is a professional driver so i am going to ask him to help me teach DS. DS is doing good and learning fast. his biggest obstacle is my anxiety. lol.
My 18 year old son is driving and it is quite unnerving. And he's 18! Luckily he agreed to wait because it's easy to walk everywhere in our town and I told him if he waited til 18 I would buy him a beater for his birthday. I am having my 16 year old wait, too. I just don't like the idea of 16 year old boys driving. Like I said, they can easily walk everywhere so that really helps.
I don't like driving with him and from talking with other parents, we're not alone.
Originally Posted by Chiroalltheway
Oh My Goodness!!!!!! I can't believe that!!! I'm all about changing the legal driving age to at least 17!!!!!!! Guess we'll never be moving to Iowa!!!!
If you moved to a rural area you might feel different.
Many of these kids have been driving farm equipment for a long time. There is a difference in city verses rural driving.
I have seen kids younger driving in ND and thier teen driving doesn't scare me. They started out with a lot less freedoms and closer suppervision/parental interaction than most other kids.
Originally Posted by LionessMom
he paid for his permit himself. he also applied for a detassling job. we are rural. we live in the town but we are surrounded by farmland. he is not allowed on the highways. he can drive 25 in the town. it is not the shoulder that bothers me it is the parked cars. i am trying to be calm, but i get so nervous. how my dad did it with me i;ll never know. and he started me at 11 yo. in a big truck on gravel. but my dad is a professional driver so i am going to ask him to help me teach DS. DS is doing good and learning fast. his biggest obstacle is my anxiety. lol.
If the anxiety is that bad, then maybe getting you dad to take him out is best. A nervious instruct can make the drive feel even more unsure.
I will have to be honest, around here it's the older (30+) drives who scare me. It might be the area but around here they seem to operate under the impression of "I've been driving n number of years so I don't really have to pay attention as much."
TBH i would rather ride with DS than my grandpa. he really scares me. he says things like "if we had wings, we could take off at this speed." he used to be in the air force. he likes to do 85mph on the hwy (which is 65).
my dd didn't get her permit until she was 20 that is still quite unnerving.. ds got in some trouble and his privilege has been suspended for one year.. you won't catch me crying about that
Originally Posted by MusicianDad
If the anxiety is that bad, then maybe getting you dad to take him out is best. A nervious instruct can make the drive feel even more unsure.
:
My mom freaked me out and i still get kinda nervous if someone is with or watching me (besides my kids..and i mean if we are meeting someone with the watching me part)
she would squeal and slam her foot down and tell me to get over when i was almost in the LEFT lane because she was scared of going off the road.
i drove my dads car once when i was 17 and he made me cry because he was critiquing every single thing and wouldnt let me drive on the highway to my house because "i wasn't good enough" before id even turned it on. ugh!
if it makes you nervous, definitely have someone who is comfy and doesn'tt think they are the best do it.
i am afraid instruction would cost money we dont have, but i like the idea. next summer DS can take the driver's ed class at the school. but i was told by the DOT that he also has to have 20 hours of parent instruction to get his license. so I (or DH) have to let him give us a heart attack for 20 hours. he only has 2 so far. it'll get better. he will get better.
it helps to talk about it too. lol. when i see my mom today i will apologize profusely for anything i did as a child that scared the life out of here. lol.
You can also get you learner's permit in KS at 14. I will be taking my son next week. The law changed Jan. 1 2010 and goes up to 15 I think. We have a graduated system with a learner's permit, a restricted licence at 15 and a full license if they satisfy the requirements at 16.
One of the requirements is that they have their permit for 6 months or more.
DD is 16 and still has her permit which means can only drive w/parent or driver over 21 in car with her. They can get their permit renewed if they aren't ready to drive on their own.
I am going to go with the driving instructor route. Dh took her out and she clipped someone's mirror on a residential st. because she could not see the mirror on the passenger side. This is something a driver's ed instructor would have taken care of before leaving the parking lot.
BTW, the only place I have driven with her is two hours in a vacated parking lot. DH takes her on residential streets.
In any case I recommend someone who has taught numerous kids to drive and also has nerves of steel and a manner that reassures the learning driver, whomever that is. Would love to send her off with my dad who is such a person.
I am wayyyy to jumpy to be doing this. And that's ok. To me it's worth the $350 for driver's edu and after they do that, I'll take them out w/ me for their additional hours. Here they have to have 50 hours in different conditions.
Originally Posted by LionessMom
i am trying to be calm, but i get so nervous. how my dad did it with me i;ll never know.
My dad, the epitome of calm, freaked out while trying to teach me to drive. He was convinced I was too close to the parked cars as was my mother. I told my mother that I'd rather hit a parked car than get into a head-on collision, but she didn't see it that way. My dad had to give up teaching me, and my mom gritted her teeth and did it.
I often feel like the driver is too close to the right when I'm the passenger, and I've actually jerked over while riding, even though the clearance was fine. My thought is maybe you can try riding really slowly with the window open looking out, so you can get a sense of how much clearance you have. I think it always feels a lot closer than it is.
I was driving a 40' motorhome from So CA to South Lake Tahoe once, and we turned off of 395 and were driving on 89 which had these switchback turns in one place, going up the mountain. I was driving over the double yellow line in the middle and my husband was freaking out, telling me to get over more to the left. I was worried I was going to get in a crash on one of the turns where I wouldn't be able to see the car coming, so I was yelling back that I was already way over to the left. He was worried I was going to drive off the cliff. He said, "When I look out the window, it's straight down, I don't see any road." Well, the tires were on the road, so stop looking out the window!
So...maybe angle so you are looking slightly more left than right?
Originally Posted by LionessMom
i am afraid instruction would cost money we dont have, but i like the idea. next summer DS can take the driver's ed class at the school. but i was told by the DOT that he also has to have 20 hours of parent instruction to get his license. so I (or DH) have to let him give us a heart attack for 20 hours. he only has 2 so far. it'll get better. he will get better.
it helps to talk about it too. lol. when i see my mom today i will apologize profusely for anything i did as a child that scared the life out of here. lol.
Dont you need to put the child on insurance?? this is going to cost money, if you dont have money for drivers ed, how are you going to afford insurance?
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