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However, the teen years are soooo intense (anyone willing to be 13 again?? They MUST have validation for their feelings and healthy outlets. This could be letting them be surly in their room for hours, giving them art supplies, letting them play loud music or have friends in the house, giving them space to be themselves while also checking in... it is a balancing act for sure. Many of them feel overwhelmed and embarrassed by their hormone-induced feelings and changes and lash out in the home where they feel safe. Again, rudeness is not allowed, but understanding is needed.
Your daughter is acting out and needs an outlet. My mother says "I used to let you stay in your room, listen to dark music, draw those horrible pictures.. I figured you were expressing/processing yourself"... and I was. I painted my walls and drew on them, colored my hair wild colors and wore crazy makeup, listened to music and sang, drew, read horror novels.. all to help me process my world, inner and outer. Find that vein of expression that appeals to your daughter and explain to her that she needs to channel her energy away from her sister when she feels negative.
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