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DD is a homeschooled child, she is very smart. First though he has a listening problem, she hears a few words, thinks she knows what is being said (she doesn't) then gets yelled at for not following directions! This happens everywhere, not just school time. Second, she ALWAYS puts herself before everyone around her. this is what is killing me. She has a DS who is 2, she frequently does not play nice, or tries to force him into doing what she wants which leads to his frustration and crying. this of course adds to my stress and anger. DD always thinks of herself first, whether it's me, DS, DH, friends, clients (I am self employed and the children are with me with a babysitter often), the babysitter etc. We have talked, and talked and talked. we have given consequences and stick to them. My DH is the softy but he has been reading some books that have helped him be more firm and consisitant. Sadly I very much feel like I don't want to be around her. She is just so hard to be around sometimes. WHen she wants to she is so sweet and helpful and then I feel good about being around her, but that isn't often enough and it is really disrupting the energy of our family. Any help appreciated! thank you!
My older dd is turning 10 next month. We've already been dealing with these issues for some time as well. Patience, perserverence, and frequent repetition of your expectations are all good.
I've also found that offering more cuddles and attention unconnected to anything at all (just sneaking up on her and giving her a kiss, for example, or giving her a little treat once in a while), as well as responding with humor and animation when she's being cooperative and nice to be with, have helped.
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