Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: surrounded by love
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Will the girls see each other in the upcoming weeks? If so, I'd encourage my dd to talk to her friend personally about the party. Her mom may wish that your dd would just "go away" and not bring it up, but that isn't reasonable or fair.
Next time the party comes up, I'd say something like "[friend] is a bit stressed out about her new friends meeting you at the party. You should talk to her about it." Honestly, my 8 yo would understand the issue, although she would be hurt and disappointed. She's had experience with old friends not liking her new friends, and vice versa.
It is obvious to me that the other mom should be explaining to her dd that leaving out your dd is not the right answer, and that the new friends aren't worth inviting if they won't be friendly to your dd. If it were my dd (having the party), I'd refuse to host the party under those circumstances.