DD saw Twilight at a sleepover. - Page 4 - Mothering Forums
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Preteens and Teens > DD saw Twilight at a sleepover.
tanyam926's Avatar tanyam926 07:23 PM 11-03-2009
There have been a lot of good points made on this thread, on both sides of the issue.

I tend to be pretty lax about what my kids watch but if we have friends over I will make sure to ask ahead of time about what movies we watch just in case. I don't want to be deemed irresponsible and blacklisted by my friends.

I would still trust a parent who had a more lax parenting style than mine unless there were major safety issues involved. I don't think any kid will be traumatized for life by watching a PG-13 movie.

If one of my kid's friends had tons of rules we had to follow when they came over to my house they probably wouldn't be invited over anymore. It's just not worth the hassle to me and it wouldn't be fun to always be worried about the parents getting mad at me for one thing or another.

Marcee's Avatar Marcee 02:56 PM 11-04-2009
My friends mom took us to see Nightmare on Elm Street when we were in the 3rd grade. My mom was hot! But a few years later she had no room to talk because she rented Children of the Corn for a sleepover. She did not look at the cover or the rating just assumed that it was a kids movie because it had the word children in it.
SAHDS's Avatar SAHDS 06:11 PM 11-04-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandjess99
I would turn it around and say that if you are concerned, it is something YOU should have mentioned. Especially if you know your beliefs/restrictions are probably on the stricter side.
If you were truly concerned about something, I guess I'd expect you to mention it to me..like if your kid had a food allergy or religious restriction to something, etc - something that woudl affect/be an issue at a sleepover.
I think it's naive to assume other families even THINK about stuff like restricting tv. I don't think it's probably so much of a situation where the mom thought it through and was like "my 10 yr old can see this, so these other 10 yr olds probably can too" but more a situation where limiting viewing choices just dosn't even enter many people's minds.
Just because it's important to you doesn't mean it's even on another parents radar.
And that doesn't necesarily make them a bad parent.
I agree with the latter, but it is ridiculous to say I should mention every single little thing I do not agree with on the off-chance my child may be subjected to it. I mean, do I ask about weapons and pets - of course! But I'm not going to make a laundry lists of common-sense dos and donts. I guess, imo, mature media would be a common sense thing. I guess, in this situation, I was wrong.

And, add me to the list of children that were able to watch anything and everything. My mom watched A Clockwork Orange with me when I was 7 (or was I 8...?). Maybe that experience (amongst the MANY others from my childhood) has made me a bit more wary.

Also, it wasn't the rating that set me off, that is a guideline. It's just that I have read the books (while the mom showing the movie had not and had absolutely nothing to go off of in her decision) and I know what happens in them and how Hollywood loves to take that further and push the bar. If my child is going to see, hear or learn something, I'd like to know. I don't see that as unreasonable, I see that as responsible.

Again, thanks for all of the replies. Very interesting!
Linda on the move's Avatar Linda on the move 07:08 PM 11-04-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
I mean, do I ask about weapons and pets - of course! But I'm not going to make a laundry lists of common-sense dos and donts.
I agree. I think the only real point one can debate is whether or not it is common-sense that some parents don't feel that PG-13 movies are appropriate for 10 year olds.

I'm fuzzy on how it is possible, since by definition the movies are questionable for kids under 13, that anyone can fail to understand that some families prefer that their ten year olds not see them, or only see certain ones. It just seems like common sense that some families would put some thought into PG-13 movies and kids under 13.
sunnmama's Avatar sunnmama 08:49 PM 11-04-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
It just seems like common sense that some families would put some thought into PG-13 movies and kids under 13.
I agree! Especially when showing them to other people's kids.

The PG13 doesn't stand in place of my own good judgment, but it is a useful tool nonetheless.
buttercup784ever's Avatar buttercup784ever 03:59 PM 11-05-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
Also, it wasn't the rating that set me off, that is a guideline. It's just that I have read the books (while the mom showing the movie had not and had absolutely nothing to go off of in her decision) and I know what happens in them and how Hollywood loves to take that further and push the bar. If my child is going to see, hear or learn something, I'd like to know. I don't see that as unreasonable, I see that as responsible.
I read the books too, and I saw the movie. I think, just like Snakes on a Plane, they are geared toward the preschool to tween age group. I'm wondering if at 13, would the same parents think it's OK for the kids to watch the PG-13 movie?
sunnmama's Avatar sunnmama 04:53 PM 11-05-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by buttercup784ever View Post
I'm wondering if at 13, would the same parents think it's OK for the kids to watch the PG-13 movie?
I wouldn't expect anyone to check with me before showing a PG 13 movie to my 13 yo.

I might or might not be ok with my 10 yo seeing a PG13 movie (my 8 yo has seen some), but I would appreciate checking with me first so I can decide.
pigpokey's Avatar pigpokey 01:49 PM 11-08-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior View Post
I would have been upset if a parent had shown my 10 yo child Twilight. I think the movie ratings are a good way to guide choices (they are sometimes quite off, but a good stepping off point hello PG-13!~)
I have not seen the movie, or read every response, but given MDC opinion that there's not much sex or violence in it, I suspect they carefully edited the movie to *avoid* a PG rating. Your greater underage movie going public is not going to flock to a PG movie the way they will to a PG-13 movie. Of course they can't get into an R movie ... so PG-13 has become a very coveted rating.

However, I absolutely think the parents should be consulted.
sunnmama's Avatar sunnmama 05:03 PM 11-08-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
I have not seen the movie, or read every response, but given MDC opinion that there's not much sex or violence in it, I suspect they carefully edited the movie to *avoid* a PG rating. Your greater underage movie going public is not going to flock to a PG movie the way they will to a PG-13 movie. Of course they can't get into an R movie ... so PG-13 has become a very coveted rating.

However, I absolutely think the parents should be consulted.
That's interesting...

I wonder if there was any difference in the demand for the Harry Potter movies, since some were PG and some PG13?

I just saw Twilight, and agree that both the violence and the sex are mild, but the subject matter is still lust--blood lust for the vampire, carnal lust of the girl. A lot of long, lustful gazing and heavy-breathing scenes. I've got nothing against lust in movies (I kind of like it, lol!), but I'd feel icky watching it with my prepubescent child (had to make a decision, because she was recently invited to a New Moon party). The subject matter feels very teen+ to me. YMMV, of course!
Mountaingirl79's Avatar Mountaingirl79 03:45 AM 11-09-2009
It's so weird that I saw Dirty Dancing for the first time at a sleepover too!!!!!
Small world. I was 9, and I remember telling my parents the next day because I knew it was inappropriate for me to see, and I felt guilty.

My son's will likely not want to watch Twilight any time soon but I am protective of what they see as well. I don't want them to see PG-13 movies without me. I want to be there to answer any questions/ explain things to them.
Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 03:53 PM 11-09-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
That's interesting...

I wonder if there was any difference in the demand for the Harry Potter movies, since some were PG and some PG13?
The Harry Potter movies were a truly unique phenomenon. I know Twilight is crazy popular, too, but I don't think it has quite the same vibe as the Harry Potter movies. The fans were going to flock to those, no matter what...and the fans are quite an age spread. The only factor that seems to be affecting demand (based on people I know - have no idea how the numbers stack up) is that the more Harry Potter movies are made, the less the fans expect from them.
runnerbrit's Avatar runnerbrit 04:24 PM 11-09-2009
My ds is 10. When he was younger I would call and ask the parents first; about video games, movies, etc. Now that he is 10 I ask the child if the movie is PG-13 or if the video game is not E for everyone. (I do not allow R movies or A video games without the parents approval). I expect that at age10 the child is old enough to understand and implement their families' values when out of their parents line of sight.

That being said, I do let each family know where I stand before their child comes to my home for the first time. That way if they have a rule like "my child can only watch PG unless I have seen the movie first" they can tell me and then the paragraph above would not apply.
SAHDS's Avatar SAHDS 04:53 PM 11-12-2009
Again, I can't simply go by the rating. I mean, some Harry Potter movies are PG-13 and then movies like Be Cool, Anchorman, The Dark Knight, Couples Retreat, etc. are PG-13 too (YIKES.)
karne's Avatar karne 11:08 PM 11-13-2009
I'm renting Twilight this weekend. This thread is making me nuts to know what's up with this movie.
buttercup784ever's Avatar buttercup784ever 12:39 PM 11-15-2009
I just watched it yesterday on my IPOD at work! LOL

It's soooo cheesy, but I can't quit Twilight.
meemee's Avatar meemee 01:25 PM 11-15-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by sebarnes View Post
But that's the exact point. YOU are, but not all families of 10 year olds are. It's about respecting the different standards of different families.
yeah i think this is a v. hard thing to follow.

in general public. i think we ourselves are a little more protective of our children.

for a ten year old - i probably wouldnt have really raised my eyebrows over twilight.

i mean how many in general follow the PG13 rule? most of what my 7 year old and her friends watch are PG 13 arent they? even kung fu panda was PG.

plus she got it as a bday present. no violence, no sex.

however i am pretty permissive where movies are concerned.

my dd loves, loves romances. her all time favourite movie is Bright star. go figure. gave me a chance to introduce her to keat's poetry
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