Has anyone's kid got a piercing/tattoo without asking? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 57 Old 10-23-2009, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
Oriole's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: by the ocean, lakes and mountains
Posts: 4,199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. I guess it doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. She is 16. And she should have asked. And we have a whole another set of issues to resolve besides these huge gauges in her ears that appeared "out of nowhere".

On another hand, I know that we'll be looking back at this one as one of the great Thanksgiving stories for the grandkids some day... I know that it is her body and her decisions, and 16 is about old enough. I know that this independence and growing up is coming our way like a fast train. I just wish it came from the inside first and then on the outside, yk?

Anyway. Did your kids ever make any drastic changed to their body without your consultation? Did YOU ever do that in your teenage years? How did you/your parents react?


New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
Oriole is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 57 Old 10-23-2009, 10:54 PM
 
MusicianDad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Tuponia
Posts: 8,928
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I got a pierced ear without asking when I was a teen. My mom sorta went a bit overboard before she realized it's just a piercing and at least I didn't go and, like, cut my ear off or anything. My dad didn't notice for about a year and just asked a casual "when did that happen?"

DD once spent a week with my mom and came home with purple bangs. DH and I just took it in stride. At the very least she's old enough to decide on hair colour. She hasn't done anything more drastic then that yet though.

malesling.GIFMutant Papa to DD (12)hippie.gif and DS (2)babyf.gif, married to DHribbonrainbow.gif
If it looks like I'm trying to pick a fight... I'm not, I'm rarely that obvious.hammer.gif
MusicianDad is offline  
#3 of 57 Old 10-23-2009, 11:31 PM
 
Irishmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In the bat cave with heartmama
Posts: 45,457
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I came home at 12 with pierced ears. But that was a normal piercing. Dd, 15, hasn't done anything like that yet, but she says she wants a tattoo. Better a tattoo than those godawful huge holes in the lobes that people are doing.

She's getting neither, btw.

What did your dd do?
Irishmommy is offline  
#4 of 57 Old 10-24-2009, 12:56 AM
 
ArielMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 68
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD got a tongue ring and belly ring without asking. I didn't really care though. There are much worse things she could have done. A friend of mine has a daughter who came home with a very large homemade tramp stamp which reads, "F*** THE HATERS."

If my daughter gets stuff done #1 in good taste and #2 professionally, then I'm not going to raise a fuss. It is her body.
ArielMomma is offline  
#5 of 57 Old 10-24-2009, 02:27 AM
Dar
 
Dar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 11,249
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My kid has a tattoo design all picked out, but we figured that getting one right before leaving town wasn't a good idea... especially when going to Russia, since they were being sort of crazy about stuff like HIV tests. She wanted one earlier and we went to a couple places to look into it but they wouldn't do it because she was too young... 13, I think? But she'll be 17 when she gets back so if I go with her it shouldn't be a problem.

I'd have more of an issue with her going behind my back, since here that would mean the tattoo place was breaking the law, and IME high-quality tattoo places are usually not going to do that... and if a place is willing to break that law, I would wonder what other laws they might be breaking. Especially since I'd be willing to go with her... if she did it without me and illegally I think that would just be stupid.

 
fambedsingle1.gifSingle mom to Rain (1/93) , grad student, and world traveler earth.gif


  

Dar is offline  
#6 of 57 Old 10-26-2009, 06:50 AM
 
littleteapot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mystery Island
Posts: 3,200
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just a note: stretched ears, even 'huge' ones, can be reversed as long as you go slowly and carefully. They may never close up completely but plenty of people go back down to a 'normal' size.

I'm a 0g myself.

photosmile2.gifBabs + trekkie.gifCurtis - Parents of Tempest blahblah.gif(08/07/03 autismribbon.gif), Jericho angel2.gif(11/01/05 ribboncesarean.gif), Xan moon.gif(10/03/06 uc.jpghbac.gif), Zephyra baby.gif(06/02/11 hbac.gif). mdcblog5.gif @ babyslime.livejournal.com

littleteapot is offline  
#7 of 57 Old 10-26-2009, 11:25 AM
 
EFmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,802
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If my child got a piercing or a tattoo without my permission they would be grounded for life.

We have a no-tattoos until you are off our dime policy.

We are crystal clear about it.

I would also look into prosecution to the full extent of the law for whoever committed the act if it were, for example, tattooing a minor, which is illegal in my state.
EFmom is offline  
#8 of 57 Old 10-26-2009, 02:53 PM
 
SuzyLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I got my belly button pierced when I turned 18, behind my mom's back. I thought she wouldn't approve even though I was legally old enough to do it without permission.

She of course ended up seeing it and just rolled her eyes that I had done it in secret.

Suzan, mama to DS 9-18-07 and #2 EDD 3/4/10 GIRL!.
SuzyLee is offline  
#9 of 57 Old 10-26-2009, 03:13 PM
 
Kirsten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Washington state
Posts: 5,362
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArielMomma View Post
DD got a tongue ring and belly ring without asking. A friend of mine has a daughter who came home with a very large homemade tramp stamp which reads, "F*** THE HATERS."

If my daughter gets stuff done #1 in good taste and #2 professionally, then I'm not going to raise a fuss. It is her body.
But how old are these girls? Under 18 and I would have come completely unhinged.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
If my child got a piercing or a tattoo without my permission they would be grounded for life.

We have a no-tattoos until you are off our dime policy.

We are crystal clear about it.

I would also look into prosecution to the full extent of the law for whoever committed the act if it were, for example, tattooing a minor, which is illegal in my state.
I am very "no tattoos or piercings other than the one set of traditional ones in your ears until you are 18" but I consider kids in college to be "on my dime" but also legal adults (though I don't really consider 18, 19, 20 year old kids to be adults but that is another thread) so I would be disappointed but not mad if they did that once they were 18. Under 18 - LIVID. No car, no cell phone, no iPod, no allowance.

I would ABSOLUTELY be filing charges against whoever did that to my kid when she was under 18! OP, did your dd lie or someone else said they were you or do you not need parental sign off or any certain age to get your ears gauged?
Kirsten is offline  
#10 of 57 Old 10-26-2009, 03:53 PM
 
EFmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,802
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten View Post
I am very "no tattoos or piercings other than the one set of traditional ones in your ears until you are 18" but I consider kids in college to be "on my dime" but also legal adults (though I don't really consider 18, 19, 20 year old kids to be adults but that is another thread) so I would be disappointed but not mad if they did that once they were 18.
In my case, I also consider college kids to be on my dime, as we will be paying for college. When they are self-supporting, they can do as they please. But if I'm supporting them, fuggetaboutit. If they choose to get tattooed or additionally pierced while in college, they will find themselves abruptly off my dime.
EFmom is offline  
#11 of 57 Old 10-26-2009, 04:21 PM
 
Labbemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,319
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD asked me if she can get her "monroe" upper lip pierced. I really don't mind. So we have a deal that if she ends self-harming behavior by Christmas I will take her to get it pierced professionally. At this point she is into carving words into her body and getting therapy. So purple hair and a lip ring are the least of my worries. She is 16 1/2
Labbemama is offline  
#12 of 57 Old 10-27-2009, 03:23 AM
 
AidansMommy1012's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: the island of Sodor
Posts: 682
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've always loved tattoos, but I didn't get any until I was 18 and in college. I called my sister (younger than me, so still at home) in great excitement after I got my first and got a very nonchalant "Oh, we all figured you'd get one eventually" in response. I'm 25 now and have a half sleeve on my left arm, my husband's initials on my hip, and a full back piece that runs the length of my spine. My mom occasionally asks nervously if I plan on getting more. Piercings are another story; for some reason I've never, never liked piercings and have never had any desire for one. My ears aren't even pierced.

My kids are all still quite young, but they're familiar with tattoos (DH has a few as well); they seem to think that everyone has a tattoo, and really, many people do now. It doesn't mean anything negative about them (unless we're talking gang tattoos or something). All that said, if they want tattoos, they need to wait until they're at least 18. It really is something you carry with you forever; they need to be certain about what they want and not be going with something trendy that's they'll regret in a couple of years.

Anna , partner to Chad geek.gif , mommy to Aidan (10/12/04) and Nate (07/18/06) fencing.gif , and Violet fairy.gif(10/23/07) .

AidansMommy1012 is offline  
#13 of 57 Old 10-27-2009, 11:06 AM
 
yogachick79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: a very bad place
Posts: 1,523
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
(((hugs))) it will be okay.

I was a very rebellious teenager and had three tattoos by the time I turned 18, my 4th I got shortly after and NONE of them were done at a shop unfortunately. I am VERY VERY open with my eldest DD about what I had to go through. I had a huge lower back tattoo (not tramp stamp thank you) that turned out very badly, spent two years removing it enough to have a beautiful piece put over it. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced, and she was old enough to know how badly I was hurting after each session. Additionally, I've gotten several more as an adult, and DH is tattooed. Our rule is talk to us first. We're not going to say no outright, we just want to help guide you so that you don't have the regrets that I do with a few of mine.

ETA: Oh, and yeah, my parents freaked the ____ out. I was 15 for my first 16, for the second and 17 for the 3rd. Not to mention I went to an all girls private Catholic school that had a no tattoo policy, and they almost got me expelled despite the fact they were all hidden by my uniform.

Proud mama to DD#1 (11) DS (4) and DD#2 ( 2 )
yogachick79 is offline  
#14 of 57 Old 10-27-2009, 11:16 AM
 
GoBecGo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 3,405
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I pierced my own bellybutton with a darning needle and an ice cube when i was 15. Unfortunately when i was trying to force the sleeper in i fainted.

I dyed my waist-length blonde hair cerise when i was 15 and my mum looked at me and said "wow!" that was it. It was traffic stopping for a few days, but then it began to wash out and was just dirty-pink for weeks!

My DD is only 3.5, so no issues so far (unless you count the relentless drawins she does on her body every day), but so long as she'd talked to me about it i wouldn't be too worried about peircings. Tattoo's i think i'd counsel her to wait and think on it, and then start small so having things covered/removed is less horrific if she decides she doesn't like it. I am looking forward to getting my tattoo which i have been planning for years, once i am done having babies (it's going somewhat on my midriff).
GoBecGo is offline  
#15 of 57 Old 10-27-2009, 01:31 PM
 
fairymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,110
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Last holiday season my dd16 pierced her own lip w/o asking- we didn't notice it till we were at my mom's for diner! I was upset at the time but over it now- it is her body and she's old enough to make some of those decisions herself. Just wish we had been clued in!
fairymom is offline  
#16 of 57 Old 10-27-2009, 01:36 PM
 
Labbemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,319
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah my sister did her own bellybutton. My mom made her take it out and she re-did it and it got awful infected and was a huge mess. If they are gonna do it anyways I want to take them to a reputable and sterile place.

DD wants to DESIGN tattoos for people. She did one for a kid at her high school and now I'm curious how the tatoo artists translation turned out.

My problems is I can't imagine wanting anything for life.
Labbemama is offline  
#17 of 57 Old 10-27-2009, 01:51 PM
 
philomom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 9,263
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
If my child got a piercing or a tattoo without my permission they would be grounded for life.

We have a no-tattoos until you are off our dime policy.

We are crystal clear about it.

I would also look into prosecution to the full extent of the law for whoever committed the act if it were, for example, tattooing a minor, which is illegal in my state.
I'm so with you on this!
philomom is offline  
#18 of 57 Old 10-27-2009, 03:01 PM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
No tattoos until 18 unless it was a design I felt could stand the test of time and there was a reputable tattoo artist willing to do it. Neither of those are likely to happen. Piercings I'm fine with as long as they aren't "for life" who know what my kids could end up being like as adults. FIW my dh is a piercer and I have scalpel'd ears, nose ring, and a surface bar in my forehead.

Oriole- when you say huge what do you mean? When people stretch up their ears it takes a long time so I don't see how she could have huge holes all of the sudden. If someone scalpel'd her ears without parental permission I would be horrified and worried that the person who did it was not professional at all.
PoppyMama is offline  
#19 of 57 Old 10-27-2009, 08:54 PM
 
amynbebes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 403
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 14 yr old has about 4 new holes in her ears and I more scolded her on how unsanitary it is to pierce yourself in the way that she was doing it. She's gauging her ears now but had to ask about that since I have to buy the gauges for her. I don't care that she has ear piercings though. I pierced my own eyebrow when I was about 16, came home from school and my mom literally screamed until I removed it. I got it professionally done at 18

Amy - mom to Anna-Rebekah 14, Logan 13, Christian 8, Ethan 7 and Adan 07/15/08
amynbebes is offline  
#20 of 57 Old 10-27-2009, 09:24 PM
 
enkmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,356
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What would I have done? Probably rant and rave a little bit and then let it go - what's done is done, and there are worse things to do. The tattoo shops here are hyper-vigilant about checking ID's, so a tattoo wouldn't have happened.

My adult daughter did keep me in the dark about a piercing once. She had her nose pierced, with my permission, on her 17th birthday. She got an infection and a keloid, and had to have a steroid shot in her nose - OUCH! Her nose looked like it was rotting for about 6 weeks. On her 19th birthday, while away at school, she had it done again. She called me about 2 weeks after the fact because she had another infection and another keloid. She didn't tell me before hand because she "knew I would just try to talk her out of it".

I tried to ground a kid for life once. It just made that kid into a kid with nothing to lose - scary stuff.
enkmom is offline  
#21 of 57 Old 10-27-2009, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
Oriole's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: by the ocean, lakes and mountains
Posts: 4,199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, here is what happened over here...

About couple of weeks ago dsd pierced her ear (a regular second piercing) while at her friend's. She never told us. DP noticed it, and had an easy talk "if you are going to do something like this in the future, please discuss, okay? okay."

Last week she went to work at the mall, and when we stopped by to visit and just to say hello she had gauges in her ears. DP didn't even bring it up until after work. He very calmly offered her two options: to lose her job as she obviously using the money to do things behind our back, or to take out the gauges.

Well, dsd still has her job.

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
Oriole is offline  
#22 of 57 Old 10-30-2009, 07:08 PM
 
mum06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 145
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm loving this thread. As a teenager (15) I double pierced my ears without permission. My parents freaked out. So I did it again and again and again until I had five piercings in one ear and six in the other. And when I was 17 and the ear piercing thing was old news and my mom was bugging me about school pictures, I pierced my eyebrow (which only lasted through school pictures). And at 19 I pierced my nose (which got infected and ugly and didn't last much longer after that. All because it made my parents mad.

So when my teenagers (stepdaughters) were interested in the whole piercing thing I showed them my ugly old-lady ears with ugly holes in them. I showed them the scar by my eyebrow. When I caught my 13 with a home made belly button ring, we made her take it out (I can't remember how we enforced this though. Regular belly button checks?) and handed her the tube of neosporin, explaining how deep puncture wounds are hard to heal.

My husband has tatoos that he got in his late 20's. He always told his daughters the spiritual significance of his tatoos. And I always pointed out how ugly tatoos are on old people. I told them stories of a gal I knew that got a cute sun on her abdomen. And then she had a baby and the sun looked like a deflated balloon.

Another strategy DH and I used was to talk about something in front of the girls, but not to them. Like, "Know what I saw today?" or "I knew someone in college who..." or "I had lots of friends that did XYZ, but I didn't because one day I saw an old lady who..."

When one daughter was 18 and supporting herself, she pierced her nose. My husband immediately disowned her and said she would never be welcomed in his house again. After he calmed down he only embarassed her by having her little brother hand her a bandaid for her yucky nose. When the other daughter was 19 and supporting herself, she got a tattoo on her foot; a place that wouldn't stretch with age and that could be hidden under socks. So we certainly didn't keep them from piercing or tatooing, but at least they put a lot of thought into what they did...but not because they wanted to please/displease us, but because they considered their VANITY! Hahaha!
mum06 is offline  
#23 of 57 Old 10-30-2009, 10:51 PM
 
mystiquesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 316
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had my ears pierced a bunch before I turned 18, but left the navel, tongue, nipples, and nose until after I turned 18. Boy, my parents were not happy about that at all(any of them). They still don't know about my tattoo, and I'm 34.

My DS's are still small, but I plan on not making it a huge deal if they want to get something done, as long is it's tasteful and done by a professional. Tattoos I would make them wait for a little while to see if they still like it after a long time frame. It's their body.

Mom to DS#1 and DS#2 fencing.gif
mystiquesmom is offline  
#24 of 57 Old 10-31-2009, 05:37 AM
 
mangopassion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 636
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArielMomma View Post
A friend of mine has a daughter who came home with a very large homemade tramp stamp which reads, "F*** THE HATERS."
If either of my underage children got a tattoo like this I would immediately take them to start the removal process. The pain of getting the tattoo removed would just be a circumstance of what they've done.


Quote:
Originally Posted by AidansMommy1012 View Post
I've always loved tattoos ...

It doesn't mean anything negative about them (unless we're talking gang tattoos or something). All that said, if they want tattoos, they need to wait until they're at least 18. It really is something you carry with you forever; they need to be certain about what they want and not be going with something trendy that's they'll regret in a couple of years.
I've always liked tattoos, too. I have one and plan on getting at least two more. For me, they have to be in discreet places and you'd have to know me pretty darn well to ever see them. But that's just me. I have no problem seeing others' tattoos.

PeachyPapa and I have discussed that we would like our children to be at least 18 before getting a tattoo because of the "forever factor" and we don't want them haphazardly picking out a tattoo because it's trendy.

Ear piercings -- CherryPie got hers done when she was 3 months old. I don't mind her piercing her ears more, but I don't think I'd let her do the big holes in her lobes. PeachyPapa and I have also discussed this and agree that she cannot get her belly button pierced until she's at least 16. Maybe her eyebrow or nose when she's 15? As long as they are tastefully done.

PeachyPapa's little cousin got her spine (back of the neck) pierced! I had never even heard of this until I saw hers. I have to admit, it's very pretty, especially on someone like her. It's just one little diamond stud at the base of her neck. I think it's called microdermal implant piercing.

I was trying to find a photo of a spinal piercing (the tasteful kind like the above mentioned), but I found this instead. BEWARE: It's kind of gross!

loveeyes.gif Loving homeschoolin' mama to CherryPie modifiedartist.gif and KiwiBoy eat.gif::: wife-y to my high school sweetheart partners.gif
mangopassion is offline  
#25 of 57 Old 11-04-2009, 04:21 AM
 
KaylaBeanie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: The South...for now
Posts: 584
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tattoos and piercings were battles my parents didn't want to fight. The compromise was that we go to reputable shops after a lot of thought, and they would sign for us. My sister incidentally is 16, with no tattoos, no piercings, and no plans to ever get even her ears pierced. I got my belly button pierced at 16, my first tattoo at 17, my ears double pierced at 17, my tragus at 17 as a graduation present, my second tattoo as an early 18th birthday present, my nose right after turning 18(took it out a week later), my nose again shortly before turning 19(took it out again), added onto my first tattoo a month before turning 19, my third tattoo at 19, and my rook a week before my 20th birthday as a present from my grandma. My parents are fine with what I have, though they prefer me to hold off on more tattoos for now.

My kids will grow up with a respect for safe and elective body modification. Since guns are dangerous for ear piercing, my kids won't have pierced ears until at least age 12, the age most piercing shops will do lobes. At age 16, I'd be willing to sign for most piercings. The only thing I have little patience for is stretched ears...I'm not a fan, so my kids would need to wait until they're 18. Tattoos, that depends. I love my tattoos, I'm happy I have them. It would depend on the maturity of my child and the type and location of design. Once they're 18, whether I'm paying for their college or not, they have the choice what to do with their bodies piercing and tattoo-wise.

However, it's a known fact that kids are hideously embarrassed by anything their parents do. So, given the fact I'm pierced and tattooed, I'm counting on my kids thinking I'm the most awkward weirdo ever, and never getting tattoos or piercings

treehugger.gif NMY, uber-crunchy, college student, doula-in-training, health food store worker and future librarian read.gif
                                      

KaylaBeanie is offline  
#26 of 57 Old 11-04-2009, 05:06 PM
 
Happiestever's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
If my child got a piercing or a tattoo without my permission they would be grounded for life.

We have a no-tattoos until you are off our dime policy.

We are crystal clear about it.

I would also look into prosecution to the full extent of the law for whoever committed the act if it were, for example, tattooing a minor, which is illegal in my state.
This reminds me of a girl I knew who was pregnant at 16/17. We were talking about random stuff and I noticed she didn't have her ears pierced. She then told me "My dad would kill me" I laughed to myself, because here she was pregnant and still in high school, but afraid of her dad's reaction to a piercing. Talk about priorities.

I do like this policy though, and being clear about your expectations really does help. Though I got my piercing and tattoos at 17 w/o telling my mom. She was more upset about the tongue than the tattoo. Or maybe I hadn't done that yet (or at least she hadn't seen it)? Kids! Sometimes we just have to make our own mistakes. In the grand scheme of things, piercing or tattoos (at least tasteful ones) are really not as bad as drugs or drinking and driving, so I may have to chalk it up to life experiences.
Happiestever is offline  
#27 of 57 Old 11-11-2009, 04:23 PM
 
lorijds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,845
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dar View Post

I'd have more of an issue with her going behind my back, since here that would mean the tattoo place was breaking the law, and IME high-quality tattoo places are usually not going to do that... and if a place is willing to break that law, I would wonder what other laws they might be breaking. Especially since I'd be willing to go with her... if she did it without me and illegally I think that would just be stupid.
This.

We've discussed this quite a bit at our house. I have three tattoos and ear piercings, DH has no tattoos or piercings. Many of our friends have full sleeves, multiple piercings, gauges, whatever. I will continue to add to my tattoos, probably my entire life.

Our children know our expectations. Nothing unsafe or completely stupid, basically. It's not a power or judgement issue, it's an issue of concern for their safety. Any body modification has inherent health risks, some more than others. Any place that is willing to perform body modification illegally is doing other things illegally. I've also pointed out examples of homemade/poor quality modifications, in an effort to help my kids understand that a body modification is forever, and you get what you pay for. It's only smart to save up to have the best in your area do your piercing or tattooing.

My teens know that mouth piercings are the one thing that is absolutely not allowed in our house, and if they decide to get one not only will I be completely, outrageously pi$$ed off, but they better have their own health and dental insurance by then. We put 5K of orthodontics into each of their mouths. There is no way they are going to eff that up for a piercing. Before they got the work done, we discussed it, and they agreed to it. Mouth piercings have a high rate of infection and complications (hello, permanent nerve damage), they cause a variety of dental issues, and we (in the health care industry) are seeing an increasing number of pts who have to have surgery or treatment for swallowing or aspirating part of the piercing jewelry. Our daughters know that our stance on this has nothing to do with whether we like or dislike the mouth piercings, it's about safety. In my professional opinion, mouth piercings are not worth the health risk; and as I pay their health insurance and am morally, ethically, and legally responsible for their health at this point in their lives, those types of body modifications are the only type that are flat out forbidden.

And I would disagree with the previous poster who says that old tattoos are ugly. I love to see old tattoos on my patients. They are beautiful, just like scars, saggy breasts, wrinkles, "sunspots" and other signs of aging. They represent a long life, fully and interestingly lived, with hopes, dreams, joy, tears, and disappointments.
lorijds is offline  
#28 of 57 Old 11-11-2009, 06:38 PM
 
jocelyndale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Charlottesville, VA
Posts: 3,546
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My biggest concern would be the place where the mod was done. Is it clean? A reputable place generally won't modify a minor without a parent present. So did she lie or did they not check? And if I at all suspected that the place wasn't reputable or clean, my kid would be heading to the doc for a nice round of bloodwork.

I trust a couple place in town, but there's one I don't trust at all.

Chasing DS since April 2007 and pumping for DD March 2013.

jocelyndale is offline  
#29 of 57 Old 11-14-2009, 02:50 AM
Bea
 
Bea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 338
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I went into town at aged 13 and got my ears pierced and waited for the excrement to hit the fan when I got home...I'd been told 'no' previously.

The outcome? Two weeks later both my sisters got their ears pierced and about a month later my mum did.



I developed a habit of piercing my left ear (I'm right handed) periodically when I was bored as a teen and wanted to add to my 'look'.

I'm now a 38 year old, perfectly normal person who you wouldn't look at twice in the street (well except for the perforated left ear if you look closely).

"Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity."
Bea is offline  
#30 of 57 Old 11-20-2009, 01:39 AM
 
Mountaingirl79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Asheville NC
Posts: 1,226
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was also a teen who had piercings and tattoos by the age of 18. I have 7 total holes in my ears ( still there, but I dont normally wear earrings anymore...go figure...) one of them in the cartilage. I had my tongue pierced when I was 17, and took it out to close up when I was 21.( I never had any dental problems due to the piercing actually,and I found it to be a very easy to maintain piercing, also it closed up the same day i decided to take it out...easy peasy...) I have a tattoo on my leg that I got by a friend when I was also 17.
My parents did flip out and I was one of those kids who was grounded for life. I agree with the PP that it just made me feel like I had nothing to lose. What were they going to take away next? My birthday? LOL

Now that I am 30 years old, none of that matters anymore. I am a completely average looking adult. Whatever that means.

When or if my boys want tattoos or piercings, I will have a long talk about cleanliness and taking care of it...then I will happily sign and hold their hand while they get it done.

I say pick your battles....this is not one I will fight.

Mom to three boys 7/7/00 fencing.gif 11/20/02 and 10/29/2011 luxlove.gif

 

Writing at: http://paisleymama.blogspot.com/ and other places! 

 

 
 
 

Mountaingirl79 is offline  
Reply

User Tag List



Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off