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#31 of 44 Old 10-26-2009, 06:54 PM
 
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if it were my daughter and she asked me to buy one for her, id say no. i started when i was 10 by myself, without the use of a device, and she can do the same.
Yeah, come on, do it the old-fashioned way. None of these high tech gizmos--I wonder if there are any Waldorf-inspired toys of this nature.

But actually, I wouldn't want them to start out with the battery powered thing right away. An insertion object is a different thing.
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#32 of 44 Old 10-26-2009, 06:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, come on, do it the old-fashioned way. None of these high tech gizmos--I wonder if there are any Waldorf-inspired toys of this nature.

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#33 of 44 Old 10-26-2009, 08:54 PM
 
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We have no problem with vibrators in this house. If DD wants to get one then she is perfectly allowed. If she wants Dh or I to take her to buy one, that's fine here. If she wants to go with a woman whom she trusts, that's fine too. Dh and I would be major hypocrites if we refused to let DD explore her sexuality with masurbation aids.

And yes, joking about sex and mastubation is a good thing. Babymomma told me once "The number one reason I am perfectly comfortable talking to my parents about sex is because joking about it was allowed when I was growing up."

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#34 of 44 Old 10-26-2009, 08:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And yes, joking about sex and masturbation is a good thing. Babymomma told me once "The number one reason I am perfectly comfortable talking to my parents about sex is because joking about it was allowed when I was growing up."
That's so great to hear, MusicianDad. I like knowing other households like mine (growing up, and now!) exist.

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#35 of 44 Old 10-26-2009, 09:57 PM
 
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[QUOTE=MusicianDad;14582637]We have no problem with vibrators in this house. If DD wants to get one then she is perfectly allowed. If she wants Dh or I to take her to buy one, that's fine here. If she wants to go with a woman whom she trusts, that's fine too. Dh and I would be major hypocrites if we refused to let DD explore her sexuality with masurbation aids.

QUOTE]

All fine and good. All at her request. Would you surprise her for 15th birthday with a dolphin shaped vibrator without a specific request?
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#36 of 44 Old 10-27-2009, 12:06 AM
 
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We have no problem with vibrators in this house. If DD wants to get one then she is perfectly allowed. If she wants Dh or I to take her to buy one, that's fine here. If she wants to go with a woman whom she trusts, that's fine too. Dh and I would be major hypocrites if we refused to let DD explore her sexuality with masurbation aids.
All fine and good. All at her request. Would you surprise her for 15th birthday with a dolphin shaped vibrator without a specific request?
Probably not, but then again I know that vibrator type is a fairly personal preference and I doubt I will have any real clear idea about what would work for her.

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#37 of 44 Old 10-27-2009, 12:09 AM
 
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All fine and good. All at her request. Would you surprise her for 15th birthday with a dolphin shaped vibrator without a specific request?
I'm sitting with chfriend on this one. That gift would have been both unwelcome and unnecessary for me at 15 (I had it covered, thanks!). It seems that the op and her sister had had enough conversations for her to know that the gift was welcome, but I don't think it is a uniformly appropriate gift for a teen!
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#38 of 44 Old 10-27-2009, 04:33 PM
 
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I approve and think it's nice that you and your sister have that kind of relationship. It's awesome for her that an adult is encouraging her to enjoy herself.

I don't know why, but I didn't 'masturbate' when I was a kid or a teen. At least, not to orgasm. No one told me not to, no church, my parents, no one. It just didn't happen. My mom was a sexually uptight person, though. My parents were not publicly affectionate.

I had no idea teen girls get vibrators! I guess it's fine, just a surprise to me. I cannot imagine in a hundred years that my daughter would ask me to take her to get a vibrator. I think she'd die first. She's not close enough to any other adult woman to ask that of, either.

I do want her to 'own' her sexuality and enjoy it. I've been wondering if I should be proactive about this, and just provide her with some interesting books. I'll look into those books you mentioned, Littleteapot.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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#39 of 44 Old 10-27-2009, 07:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had no idea teen girls get vibrators! I guess it's fine, just a surprise to me. I cannot imagine in a hundred years that my daughter would ask me to take her to get a vibrator. I think she'd die first.
I think most would before asking their mom. But friends and siblings are usually a different matter.
You can get "for my back but obviously not" vibes at drugstores and sometimes shops in the mall.

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#40 of 44 Old 11-06-2009, 08:53 AM
 
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Wow, you're a cool big sister!

I would probably encourage my sons to buy their sex toys online -that way they are spared the embarrassment of having to buy one at the store.
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#41 of 44 Old 11-06-2009, 10:43 AM
 
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DH and I don't discuss private sexual history (either ours or theirs) with our DCs. They'd think it was so much more than they wanted to know! They would also feel it was intrusive if we got them condoms, toys, etc. All the way down the line, though, we've been open about issues, situations, humor, and make it a point to touch on the implications of something we see or hear. We've been responsive to anything they raised and the way they wanted to address things. We have been forthright about physical and emotional safety and exploitation and have tried to show reverence for the subject. Not a wait-til-you're-married reverence, but this is serious shit so use it to make your world as kind and fun as possible.

"Sick and perverted" would be if you violated her boundaries. If you're following HER cues, then it's healthy and respectful. If you're overriding her discomfort about discussing it with YOU, then that's out of line. But your OP is clear that your family has a really cheerful and honest handle on communicating, and your gift sounds like a meaningful way to express that.

Hope everyone's back is better soon.

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), an underachieving Bernese Mountain Dog (2006-2014), and an overachieving mother (1930).  Married to DH since 1986.
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#42 of 44 Old 11-06-2009, 11:49 AM
 
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*I* think your a cool big sister, but it's obvious that not everyone is going to agree with you....and that's ok.
If it works between the two of you then ROCK ON!

I was an "only" and wish I'd had somebody to help out with these things since I was raised by a single father from a youngish age.

If you got the same type of "coming of age" kit when you were around her age then I'll assume that your a very open and humorous type of family.
Seems pretty appropirate in your case.

For others that would not fly in a million years!

Live and let live...if it works for ya'll, keep going.

Center
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#43 of 44 Old 11-07-2009, 03:10 AM
 
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I don't have a big sister, but I'd like to think if I did, I'd have a big sister like you! I think it's awesome. I had the honor of buying my best friend her first vibrator, but I've never had one of my own.

I would like to think I'd have no problems buying my (future) teenage daughter a vibrator if she expressed an interest. I'd rather make sure she had something safe, and knew how to clean it, instead of those nasty painted cheap ones you can buy at Spencers and the like.

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#44 of 44 Old 11-07-2009, 03:25 AM
 
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I say yea, what a open minded big sister. I see nothing wrong with a little toy. I am so tired of the puritanical thinking of sex in this country. I say with young teens better masturbation, then an unwanted pregnancy. By the way I am 48. And we still have fun, oh and we are grandparents. Oh the horror of self- gratification! (LOL).!!!!!!
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