We are at such a loss with our 13yo son.
Since he was 6, he has been homeschooled, attended a small, Waldorf inspired public school, a larger IB public school, homeschooled again and now a small, expeditionary private school.
In every learning environment he has worked very hard at getting out of doing even the simplest work. He whines, complains, gets up and walks away.
In a classroom environment, he is disruptive and acts the class clown. Homeschooling him was an incredibly difficult and stressful time. He just refused to do anything.
He's gifted musically but doesn't practice. We have provided him with avenues to express his talents and he just doesn't seem to care.
His current school has shown a commitment to him like no other. He has shown that he his capable of excellent classroom behavior and turning in work that reflects his capabilities. However, he seems to lack "staying power" over the course of a semester.
He recently was caught copying and pasting from Wikipedia for a very simple assignment. When faced with the fact that he was caught, he bald faced lied to the dean. Again and again. In the assignment sheet, it was made very clear that the kids were to read the sources and put it into their own words. There was no grey in this situation. This just brought to a head his habitual dishonesty.
He was put on academic probation. More for the persistent lying than the plagiarism. It's a big deal. Daily check ins with his adviser, staying after school twice a week. A couple steps away from being asked to leave the school.
Yesterday, I received an email from his math teacher. He's slouching in class, refusing to do classwork and take notes. Says he knows this stuff but turns in partially completed homework saying he didn't get it. It wrapped up with some excellent suggestions for strategies he could use for being successful in math. Math is an area he also has a lot of aptitude for but refuses to put forth any effort.
He was asked to leave math class today for all the above reasons.
We've asked him if he wants to stay at this school. He says he does.
Heck. We're running out of places for him to be. At home we've done unschooling, structured schooling, you name it. He hates it all and would watch TV and play on the Wii if he were given the option to do whatever he wants.
Where he is thriving...Spanish and Improv class.
He has a huge heart and thrives on the company of others. He loves to help kids out. He loves to cook for others. He does this at least twice a week.
We've recognized that he may not have the aptitude for heavy academics. We've even recognized that average or satisfactory may be what he's capable of. He has strong interpersonal skills and could be very successful putting those to work.
It's his f*ck this attitude about putting forth any effort, even in the things he loves, that really concerns us. Also his habitual dishonesty. In addition to the plagiarism, he's been stealing money from everyone in the family, and just lying about the smallest thing.
Thank you for reading this novel. Please bring it on.