Thanks for the good advice, Mom... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 11-13-2009, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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In a previous thread I noted that I'm 48 years old and I still can't bring myself to say thanks to my mom for good advice.

Part of it is that my mom's advice is threaded with some pretty nasty criticism.

My kids leave the house with "Bye, mum, love you lots!" and regularly thank me for doing things I do for them.

I give them advice but I have to say they don't love that part of our relationship.

How about you? Do you thank your mom for her good advice?

Do you think your kids appreciate your advice?
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#2 of 7 Old 11-13-2009, 11:06 PM
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No, I don't thank her (genuinely) for advice in general. Mostly because she give sooo much of it unsolicited. I respond more like "thanks, I may try that" but that is usually to conclude the conversation. If I actually take her advice and it works, I will let her know.

My oldest is nearly 10, I try to discuss choices rather than just give advice. But, I can't say she is "thankful" for advice either.

I am more open to advice from my friends, but I don't routinely thank them for it either.

Hmmmmm

Amy

Mom to three very active girls Anna (14), Kayla (11), Maya (8). 
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#3 of 7 Old 11-19-2009, 12:33 AM
 
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I am 26 and I thank my mother regularly when she gives me good advice. Sometime people who have been there and done that do have some wisdom worth listening too. Now on the other hand- as a teen I never appreciated her or my father's advice.
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#4 of 7 Old 11-21-2009, 01:34 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bestjob View Post
Part of it is that my mom's advice is threaded with some pretty nasty criticism.
I'm not sure if this will apply to you but this particular line made me think you might benefit from reading 'toxic parents'.
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#5 of 7 Old 11-24-2009, 01:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That "toxic parents" info was in my local paper. I read it and thought it through.

Everything they say is so much my mom and dad.

But I have to say I learned from them both. I don't have huge issues, just a bit of being cranky about advice interlaced with unpleasant criticism.

My life otherwise was lovely.
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#6 of 7 Old 11-25-2009, 01:35 AM
 
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No, my mother has never given me good advise.

I can't think of anything useful I have ever learned from her.
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#7 of 7 Old 11-25-2009, 02:13 AM
 
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Yeah, no.

My relationship with my mother has never been one where she gave me advice. She does say some really weird and inappropriate and critical things, on occasion. I guess there's a reason I live thousands of miles away. I don't think our relationship would do well if I lived down the street.
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