Do you watch your teen get on the bus? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 10:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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#2 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 10:44 AM
 
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I also live in the burbs of NYC, on the Jersey side. We're about 10 mi from Manhattan and around here, there are no buses, there are neighborhood schools. Many of the children in our neighborhood start walking to and from school completely by themselves by the time they're around 9 -- the teachers will dismiss students without a parent there in third grade.

I'm not sure what they're afraid is going to happen in the five minutes before the bus arrives, but if they're worried about nefarious strangers driving by, that could happen at any hour and any location. And how much trouble of their own design could they really get into in five unsupervised minutes?

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#3 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 10:46 AM
 
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Moving over to Preteens and Teens.

And, fwiw, I would not watch my teen get on the bus. My oldest is 12 and homeschooled, but if he did attend school, he would walk out the door and to the busstop on his own, as do all the children over age 8 or so in my neighborhood.

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#4 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by marisa724 View Post
And how much trouble of their own design could they really get into in five unsupervised minutes?
who knows, as they seem to have no friends outside of school, no extracurricular activities, and are so sheltered that I wouldn't be surprised if they rebelled like Amish kids on Rumspringa(sp?) in a few years.

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#5 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 11:10 AM
 
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Where we live it is normal for kids upper elementary on up to walk to the bus stop on their own. There are a ton of kids in the neighborhood, so even if their parent isn't right there, the kid isn't really alone.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#6 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 11:12 AM
 
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Only if I was afraid my child would take the opportunity to ditch school.

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#7 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 11:36 AM
 
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Well, my 13 y.o. walks about 1 1/2 miles to her current school, and has been walking to school for 2 years now. My 16 y.o. takes public transit with 2 transfers to get to school. So no, I wouldn't go with them to the bus stop, unless I was dropping them off while I went on my own way somewhere.
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#8 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 12:18 PM
 
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No I don't watch her. I don't even get her up in the morning. In 1.5 years of bussing, she's never missed it. It may have something to do with her awesomeness, it may have something to do with having to walk 5.3 kms (3 miles) to the school if she misses the bus through her own fault.

And dd2 has been walking to school and back alone since the end of grade 1.
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#9 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 12:23 PM
 
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Ha! My mom didn't wake in the morning to see me off for school when I was a teen (in her defense, she was undergoing chemo at the time). I got up, got ready, and walked to school without incident. I got home the same way. I also had freedom to come and go as I liked within our community (by foot or by bike).

Needing to walk a teen to and from the bus seems a bit overprotective to me.
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#10 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 12:31 PM
 
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oh those poor teens. the il's sound extremely overprotective & I agree on them rebelling - if they aren't in some ways already.

In town kids are only bussed if they live in the new area(until the new school is built), if they're in the catholic system & don't live close to the school, or if they're in middle-high school & don't live close to those schools(and they're bussed from their neighborhood school). I've never seen any parents around while the kids are waiting before/after school. Starting in K kids walk home by themselves.

Out of town kids are bussed into town & some of them have to transfer busses at the highschool with no adults to tell them which bus to get on(other than the bus drivers). There are kids in k who do this on day 1.

The only time parents watch is the first day of school.
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#11 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 01:44 PM
 
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I'm not even awake some mornings when DD1 leaves for school. I'm certainly never dressed- although I try to get up with her. Then she walks out the door and I stay in the house. Occasionally she walks the 1.5 miles home, if she wants the exercise. My 13yo walks to and from school by herself every day.

When DS was in 2nd grade, I let him walk home from the bus stop but not to the bus in the mornings- he was the only kid at that bus stop (private school) and I didn't feel safe letting him stand there all by himself every single day. On the walk home, he wasn't hanging around, but purposely walking from the moment he got off the bus. If he went to public school, and had a few neighborhood kids to wait with him at the bus stop, I'd probably let him go without me after the first few days.

I think your MIL is being over-protective, unless your 14yos have special needs that affect their ability to safely wait for a school bus.

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#12 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 02:25 PM
 
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DS1 is 16. He's been walking to school (no bus here) his whole life, and I stopped going with him when he was about 8 or 9. These days, he's usually off to school before I get up, because the other kids and I sleep in, if at all possible. I can't imagine worrying about two 14 year olds catching a bus. Have they been cutting classes or something?

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#13 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 04:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No--they are very well behaved. In fact, they're so good that they are in fact dull. But I attribute this to the fact that they are incredibly sheltered. They are very sweet.

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#14 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 04:48 PM
 
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I wouldn't, unless I have a reason to suspect trouble.

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#15 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 05:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
When DS was in 2nd grade, I let him walk home from the bus stop but not to the bus in the mornings- he was the only kid at that bus stop (private school) and I didn't feel safe letting him stand there all by himself every single day. On the walk home, he wasn't hanging around, but purposely walking from the moment he got off the bus. If he went to public school, and had a few neighborhood kids to wait with him at the bus stop, I'd probably let him go without me after the first few days.

I think your MIL is being over-protective, unless your 14yos have special needs that affect their ability to safely wait for a school bus.


I was thinking that the only reason I wait at the bus stop with my second grader in the morning is because it seems rather boring and depressing to stand alone in the cold and dark at 7am. So I wait with him.

Mom to DS 4/24/03 and DD 4/17/06
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#16 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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At 14 I would feel very, very weird to be walking to the bus and waiting for it with my kids.

This year DD and her friend have started walking to and from school with out adult supervision. I can't think of a single reason why they shouldn't be allowed to do that.

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#17 of 22 Old 11-20-2009, 06:39 PM
 
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At 14 I would feel very, very weird to be walking to the bus and waiting for it with my kids.
If you are 14 with kids old enough to take the bus, then you SHOULD feel wierd.

Dd1 had to schoolmates whose moms walked them to school to the end of grade 8. These 14yos were being walked, while my grade 1 kid went past them alone. I'm sure they think all sorts about me.
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#18 of 22 Old 11-21-2009, 07:19 PM
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LOL no I wouldn't. This reminds me, three years ago one of my students ( a freshman at that time) had to call her mom every morning to tell her she arrived to school "safely". I honestly thought that was over the top, especially after she told me her mom watch her get on the bus everyday

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#19 of 22 Old 11-23-2009, 10:29 AM
 
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No, I don't.
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#20 of 22 Old 11-28-2009, 07:55 PM
 
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I grew up in NYC and I started taking the bus to school, alone, at age 11. I said goodbye to my mother and walked to the bus stop alone.

Early intervention specialist and parent consultant since 2002.
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#21 of 22 Old 11-29-2009, 12:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, well...Their parents are just a tad too overprotective, IMHO.

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#22 of 22 Old 12-01-2009, 01:05 AM
 
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My teens each take different buses. I don't go out with my oldest, I do with my younger one. She gets on the bus at 5:45am, there is no one else who picks up the bus with her, and we both have some concerns about the people living on the corner. And ya know... it's a chance for us to chat for a few in the morning.
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