Sigh, I am noticing more and more conflict between DD #1 and DH and I don't know how to help. She is not his biologically, although he is the only father she has ever known and has called him dad forever, and fully accepts his role in her life.
That said, he has never ever seen a girl grow up, not within his extended family even. So he just flat out does not get the hormones that are wreaking havic on her right now, or the attitude that is coming along.
I do understand his points. She has a lot of freedom. She walks to and from school with friends (but this also helps US because we don't have to drive her and change schedules), she has her own bedroom with a private full bath (just worked out that way, it was the tiny bedroom, the other kids share a larger room and our room is small but not as tiny. She gets sleepovers, play dates, etc. Goes to movies occasionally when we can afford it, etc.
She has been mouthing off a lot, either that or plain old not responding when we talk to her, especially him. She just gives us/him this vacant blank stare when he asks her to do something, and will just stand there, AFTER she has heard him. This absolutely infuriates him.
So I agree, we need to work on respect issues, I just also know that there is a LOT more of this to come, especially if she is even remotely like me. However, he is also the softy when it comes to letting her do things that she shouldn't be doing. Like staying up until 10:30 on a school night simply to watch a movie with him that we already own. So the next morning when she has to be up at 6:30, she is completely exhausted, or allowing her to go places with him when her homework is not finished.
How on earth do I navigate this and help him understand what is going on with her and how best to address it and help structure things for her?!
That said, he has never ever seen a girl grow up, not within his extended family even. So he just flat out does not get the hormones that are wreaking havic on her right now, or the attitude that is coming along.
I do understand his points. She has a lot of freedom. She walks to and from school with friends (but this also helps US because we don't have to drive her and change schedules), she has her own bedroom with a private full bath (just worked out that way, it was the tiny bedroom, the other kids share a larger room and our room is small but not as tiny. She gets sleepovers, play dates, etc. Goes to movies occasionally when we can afford it, etc.
She has been mouthing off a lot, either that or plain old not responding when we talk to her, especially him. She just gives us/him this vacant blank stare when he asks her to do something, and will just stand there, AFTER she has heard him. This absolutely infuriates him.
So I agree, we need to work on respect issues, I just also know that there is a LOT more of this to come, especially if she is even remotely like me. However, he is also the softy when it comes to letting her do things that she shouldn't be doing. Like staying up until 10:30 on a school night simply to watch a movie with him that we already own. So the next morning when she has to be up at 6:30, she is completely exhausted, or allowing her to go places with him when her homework is not finished.
How on earth do I navigate this and help him understand what is going on with her and how best to address it and help structure things for her?!